Is this appropriate

[Toddboy]

Hey, need some advice please

I’m a gay guy, parent of a 9 year old from previous relationship. DS is 9 and I have joint custody with his mother who I get on well with

I’m 39 and have been single for 5 years. I’ve recently gotten Friendly with a guy at work and he’s asked me out for a drink BUT... he’s 19...20 in 3 weeks!!

Not sure what to do. We get in well but I’m 19 years older. I worry that I’ll be perceived as a creepy old gay guy even though that’s not the case at all!
Do I go for it, or is it inappropriate?

At this stage I’m only worried about the appropriateness, not the longevity of the relationship.

He’s a mature 29/20 year old and I have a young outlook so It doesn’t feel wrong

Advice please

Typo- 19/20, not 29/20

Eeww!

He is very young op. 20 years is a big difference, you would likely find he wants very different things to you long-term.

You know your own heart. Nothing you have said makes you sound predatory.
Go for the drink. It's just a drink.
And then see.

My son is 19 and gay

I would be horrified if you got together with him

Gee thanks

And yeah what @SubjectMatterExpert said.

Think of it this way. He is only 10years older than your little boy.......

I wouldn’t. Regardless of the sexes, 29 year age gap when someone is still in their teens is yucky, and yes you will be that creepy older guy

You asked

I get people’s reactions and I know that in reality it won’t last, but would going fir a few drinks/dates be awful? Would people feel the same if it was a 19/20 year old woman?

Yeah I did 😀

19 year gap

Yes I would feel the same if it were a woman.

Would people feel the same if it was a 19/20 year old woman?

Yep

Thanks for quick responses

Something's bothering you about it op otherwise you wouldn't have asked.

The standard rule I have always heard is half your age plus 7!

Half your age (rounded up) plus seven is the absolute minimum.

27 is the youngest you can go.

X with Bumbers!

You know it's not right as your questioning the appropriateness yourself.

Just be an adult and leave the boy alone. Find someone closer to your own age.

Do you really want to be that sad old man that people jusge? (39 is not old but in this context, it is!)

If he don't know who loves orange soda, he too young for you bro 😂😂

Unpopular opinion but I don’t see a problem with it, I’ve got a best friend that’s always liked older men at 20 her boyfriend was 35 and I didn’t see an issue he tret her a lot better than someone her own age would. We are now 24 and she had a new partner and he’s 39 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with big age gaps. If he likes you and you him go for it!

I have no idea why bug for some reason a gay 39 yr old man going out with a 29 Ur old man creeps me out less than/makes me less uncomfortable than the idea of a 39 yr old man going out with a 29 Ur old woman

I don't know if it's because I (obviously flawed) think of women/girls as more vulnerable than men.

I think that it could go one of two ways - he's exceptionally mature and you two could hit it off and are well.suited etc. Or that, like many hetero age gap relationships, you get in well initially but then realise you're on different wavelengths/life stages/peer groups etc.and it hasn't got legs.

*20 yr old woman

I do understand people’s views. I don’t think that I’m gonna go out for the drink