Smelly fart date

[SausageSimon]

A couple of weeks ago I went on a date with a guy I used to work with years ago, he got in touch out of the blue and he's really lovely so I thought why not.

We had an excellent time in a nearby city and he showed me some great places, we had a meal and then went to a bar. It started getting busy and we were sat on some settees and all was good!
Then started the smelliest rotten egg farts, truly vile. It got to the third lot of this disgusting odour and I had to say something incase he thought it was me. There was a group of guys behind us and I assumed it was one of them so I said to my date how disgusting it was and that it was making me feel sick. I said I wouldn't be going out if my farts were so bad! (I've only had these awful kind of farts with an upset stomach)

Soon after it was time to head home and the date ended well! Unsure if I fancied him but I had a great time so we arranged another date.

So tonight we went out, he picked me up and as we were driving along and chatting that exact same vile smell wafted it's way around the car

I'm not being dramatic when I say it's the worse fart I have EVER smelt.

He wants to see me again but I honestly hope I never smell that smell ever again in my life!! It's a shame cause he's a really nice man but I can't cope.

Can nerves cause this? He's big on the gym and I also wondered if it was the result of protein shakes or a diet he's on

AIBU to not want to see him again?

If it could be guaranteed I wouldn't have to endure another rotten egger I'd probably be up for it

I dont care if I sound mean tbh. I wouldn’t date someone like this because I think it’s gross and bad manners, if he has a health condition he can atleast excuse himself and go to the toilet. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who stunk the place out everywhere he went. Call me shallow I don’t care.

Out of curiosity, Googling "charcoal filters for men" just opened my eyes to a whole new world:

@SausageSimon,
"Subtle Butt: disposable gas neutralizer multipack" may prove helpful to the future of this relationship.
(weirdly, also a "reusable" version...surely counterproductive? )

Flatulence jeans, chair pads, "fart-absorbing blankets"...who knew?

Important:
I'm in no way making light of anyone sufferering with IBS/genuine medical issues, which must be a flipping nightmare.
Every person I've ever known with such is hyper-aware and goes to enormous lengths in their consideration of other people.
Bloke in question, however, sounds wilfully selfish.

Unless you are happy for a lifetime of this smell, just dump. It's been two smelly dates, what's to lose?

Well, he may not be able to help it, but that still doesn't mean you're obliged to keep seeing him if you don't want to. It's only been two dates. You can "dump" him for any reason or none at all.

I completely get that he was probably embarrassed that you noticed the smell on your first date. I think the second one, though, was the time to tell you if there was some kind of medical issue. Just something like "I'm really sorry, I've got a bad stomach at the moment" and an offer to open the window at least! It's not normal for a healthy bowel to smell of sulphur so he must know there's a problem.

I've had IBS for about 30 years and this used to happen to me before I figured out what some of my food triggers are.
If he has something similar, he might not have been able to help it (I can't when my IBS is bad)
He would have been mortified that it was happening (and stress makes my IBS worse so you can imagine !)

But - I get that it's unpleasant so you're perfectly ok to just not see him again.

If he was 100% perfect in every other way but his trouser trumpets then it might be worth sticking around. If it's merely meh. LTB. In this case LTB means Leave The Bottyburper

Oh sorry OP but it gave me a laugh, I don't know if it's how it was worded or if I'm just very juvenile (probably that).
It also reminded me of DP telling me after a few years of living together that when we were first dating he'd go home with the worst stomach aches after having to hold them in. I know it's dangerous to do that but he could at least try! Or apologise and explain he isn't being purposely rude and can't help it.
It would put me off but then again I broke up with a boyfriend because he had this weird sweat smell I couldn't put my finger on. Wasn't a standard BO but more of a cooked skin smell? And another guy because whenever I kissed him he tasted of green opal fruits which doesnt sound bad but it started making me feel a bit gippy

This reminds me of that joke: man goes to GP with wind issue. "It's pretty much constant, in work, in church, during parent evenings etc. Luckily there's no noise or smell, but I still want to sort it out." GP gives him some pills. A week later he's back. "These made it worse! I'm still farting just as much but now they smell horrible!"

GP: "Ah, good, that's your sense of smell fixed, now let's see if we can do something about your hearing."

In the past week two different men have done absolutely revolting farts in circuit classes when I've been one station behind them. Absolutely disgusting and unforgivable. And I have IBS.

Is he a Guinness drinker? They can be real crowd-clearers.

Can you imagine being intimate with the him?
Raise the bar, OP.

I dont care if I sound mean tbh. I wouldn’t date someone like this because I think it’s gross and bad manners, if he has a health condition he can atleast excuse himself and go to the toilet.

It's not at all mean! NO ONE is owed a relationship or a date and the real reason behind so many shitty relationships is that people don't go with their gut (no pun intended) and just stop seeing the person when any part of it is incompatible.

This is him on his best behaviour and as pointed out, it's a power/control thing for some people like the Shitting Man.

It's foul and bad manners. So just cut him off, ditch and move on.

He makes contact, you just say it was fun but you're not interested in any more dates so best of luck to him.

Neither of us acknowledged it in the car, I was speechless and generally just trying to avoid breathing

One poster was trying to say I sound shallow, I wouldn’t want to be with someone like this, same way I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was just sitting there loudly burping, no attempt to control it. It’s basic manners! It would be a turn off for me. Imagine having to sit there smelling it all evening.

Nothing at all shallow about it, Pumpkin. You're allowed to have any dealbreaker or boundary you want. You don't owe anyone a date, relationship, etc.

I'd not have given this a second thought, just noped outta there.

Can you imagine sex and him letting it rip? Or whilst you're giving him a BJ? Having a sexy shower or bath?

Can you imagine sex and him letting it rip? Or whilst you're giving him a BJ? Having a sexy shower or bath?

Why has Dutch Oven sprung to mind??

I'm afraid my response would be much the same as your mother's, but then I have suffered IBS for a lot of my adult life due to a long term medical condition (now more under control, but still).

Give him a chance to explain himself. He might have a reason why this happens but has been too embarrassed to tell you so far.

I guess I am kind of glad that I grew up in a house where nobody was really that shy of farting. We even had competitions with it. Not in polite company though, if at all possible.

I don't believe people who have been married for 20 or 30 years and claim never to have farted in front of their husbands / wives. When I was a student back in the mid eighties we used to joke about whether or not we were yet "on farting terms" in our then relationships.

Can you imagine sex and him letting it rip? Or whilst you're giving him a BJ? Having a sexy shower or bath?

Gross, I couldn’t Be with someone who couldn’t help it. Which I’m sure he would do it in those situations aswell if he truly can’t help it. Feel sick just thinking about it. Nasty

People fart for a reason, same as any other bodily function. How's he supposed to excuse himself if he's in a car? Oh sorry, just stop the car, I need to fart...
I personally can't hold farts in and it's really bad for you to do so. Bad manners to fart... Pffft.

No. 1 reason for rubbish relationships: not going with your instinct and respecting your own boundaries as you've been socially conditioned (usually women) to 'Give him a chance'.

If he really can't help it, it's unavoidable, has a condition, etc., then wouldn't the logical thing be to tell you by the time you went on the car date? He hasn't done that, just lets them rip and gauges your reaction, which has been so far exactly as he expects: you put up with it.

Think about it, if he 'can't help it' this will be your sex life and social life for good. You'll become anxious or embarrassed to accept invitations for smaller, more intimate social gatherings like dinner parties or cocktail parties because he'll be the one letting lose the vile farts.

He doesn't care, OP, about the effect on other people. This tells you all you need to know.

Hold it in. Yes I would expect that actually. Would you fart in a meeting with your boss? In a crowded lift?

@SausageSimon
@DontCallMeShitley

Charcoal tablets can work marvellously but he needs to take 8 to 10 at a time, crunch them up in his teeth and swallow with a glass of water. It needs to be done well in advance too. He can tell when it's far enough along as it does - of course - cause black faeces!

@Ferretyone

Someone in this house takes charcoal tablets. As long as they are taken 2 -3 times a day around meal time it seems to work OK, can tell if they have been missed though as a green fog gets under the bottom of the door at night and blocks all the air on the landing.

I've been at work and just come on to see all these messages! just making my way through them!