Husband out now, forgot his phone, illegal to view his texts?

[SheilaBGoingSoon]

I swear something it going on n he never usally leaevs his phone an i think i know the unlock pattern thingy... is it illegal for me to look?

thanks!

It’s not something you would actually be prosecuted for...people do it all the time

Not sure if it's illegal.
Not very moral.
But I found out about both my Ex's and their affairs by snooping.
So I'm not judging.

No it isn't illegal.

Go ahead, I would if I suspected something is amiss. You could say that you couldn't find your phone and urgently needed to call someone, if you had to admit to it or just keep it to yourself. Prepare to read things that may be uncomfortable and give yourself time to digest the contents before confronting him, IF you have to.

OP, he's not going to call the police if he finds out you snooped

Well it is something you can be prosecuted for. Rightly so it is part of ongoing abuse and coercive control.

But it’s unlikely he will press charges. However you need to know what you intend to do once you have looked.

If there is no evidence of guilt does that prove he is innocent for you?

If you find out things you can’t accept are you ready to walk or will you “need to have it out with him”. Because when I hear people say that I just know they are giving the cheater a chance to lie about it. They don’t want a confrontation they want a plausible excuse.

In law, we all have the right to privacy. In that sense, it is illegal to look at somebody’s private communications without their permission, yes. In practice, it’s a grey area without much legal precedent in terms of prosecution.

But if you feel you have to check then you don’t have much of a relationship, do you? Why bother sticking around trying to get proof of what you think when the trust is already long gone?

If I suspected something I'd look. I have before and been proved right.

I can’t believe you even asked that. Stay out of his phone op

Make sure you wipe your finger prints off the screen after, don't open any messages he hasn't read, don't leave anything open on the screen and listen out for him returning to collect it when he realises he's left it behind!

My DO has put a long and complicated password on his phone now so I can't do it!

Why do you want to look?

It's not illegal.

But if you have doubts about something now is your chance to check.

Then afterwards, have a proper think about why you have those doubts and what you are going to do about it

What are you hoping to achieve?

@OnlyFoolsnMothers - the first 5 words of her post!!!????

Are you suspicious or nosey?

Would it be a problem if he knew you looked?
I sometimes use OH's phone he sometimes uses mine no issue they're ours rather than mine and his. (mostly its me with the phone, he has form for leaving it at home or in the car)

I meant what’s made her think somethings going on, what’s happened or changed

Vows include all I share with you don't they? Includes phones imo!

Have a good snoop! I would.

If you're simply nosey that's fine.

If you're suspicious and find nothing? Would you stop being suspicious?

If you're simply nosey that's fine no it really isn’t. I have nothing to hide yet wouldn’t think it’s ok for my husband to snoop on MY phone

'But mumsnet said it was ok' isn't a valid defense.

'But mumsnet said it was ok' isn't a valid defense.

If she gets confirmation he's having an affair the showdown will not be about how moral it is to look at someone's phone.

I think i will find another way thank you everyone

If you believe you have good reason to look then go for it. It was how I proved my ExH's affair (although my hands were shaking so badly trying to photograph his screen with my phone that the evidence was very blurry!)

Be prepared though, once you see something you can't unsee it. It's like looking at someone's diary, seems harmless until you see something that changes everything...

@SheilaBGoingSoon - why torture yourself like this? You already have reason to be suspicious that something is going on. Rather than shuffle around trying to look for clandestine ways of finding out, sit him down, set out why you are suspicious and ask for an explanation and if he can’t give you any reasonable reason for his behaviour, tell him you want to see his phone. And if he refuses to show it to you, you have your answer and can proceed on that basis. If he’s got nothing to hide he’ll be upset that you’ve been made suspicious by whatever he’s already been doing and want to prove himself.