Now it's time to get naked - and I'm wobbly :( please help!

[CakesRus3]

I'm 42 years old, a size 16 and I have a wobbly belly and my boobs are not too great (my bum either). I have 3 dd's (all teens) so I have stretch marks, which don't necessarily bother me, well maybe a little. I'm not your regular curvy lady (the ones you see in adverts, they look gorgeous), I'm flabby and stretched.
Anyway, I'm ok dressed. I actually have an ok head. I have been single forever. Dated lots but never found a connection along the way. Now, I have met someone who appears keen. I am too. He very much fancies me (so it appears anyway). We have dated lots, and now we are staying in a hotel Sat as we feel that it would be nice to spend the night together.
However, I am so nervous. I enjoy his company and feel relaxed with him. I just have such a big fear of him seeing me naked (or semi naked), that it makes me feel sad. I also question even wanting to be with anyone. It's obvious he can see that I'm not a skinny Minnie. I look ok in clothes.
I'm so scared. I want to be confident. I just feel so anxious about it. I'm never going to overcome this. He might think 'Ewww!'

I’m a similar age to you and still having fun.

If he likes you in clothes, he’ll like you without clothes. I assume he knows you have children, age etc. Unless he’s totally daft he’ll know what is realistic.

Please remember you are still likely to be of child bearing age.

Have a lovely time and purr.

Honestly just go and get naked, sweaty and sticky and enjoy yourself

Men actually worry about their bodies too so you aren’t the only one who will be worried about size and wobbly bits. And he’s got a good idea of what your body shape is and still fancies you

You could go buy some nice underwear, have a lovely bath and pamper yourself to make yourself feel more sexy and good. I always feel better with a bit of wash on/off fake tan and smooth legs

And I’m the same size as you and have had no complaints

I bet he doesn't have a perfect body. Have a few glasses of wine and stay away from mirrors :)

I read an article once (wish I could find and share it!!) where men were asked what goes through their minds the first time they see their lady naked. The almost unanimous answer was roughly: didn’t think anything other than ‘woohoo I’m getting lucky’). I don’t think men are as critical of every little details as we are. They tend to be more tolerant and just see the whole package.

Sincere apologies for the sweeping generalisation 😁.

I am sure he will be excited to be with you and patient (as he seems so from your OP).

I was honest with DP and was surprised for someone so confident when he told me about his insecurities. We now just joke about how much cake we eat, and our wobbly bits and it all becomes irrelevant when you care about one another.

Buy yourself a nice nightue or wear a big shirt to Conover up abit x

I'm 20 years older than you with more wobbly bits.
Get thee to Ann Summers my dear and have a look at Teddies or baby dolls, I feel comfortable and DH loves them.
Or, when you know him better go shopping together as we do!

What a wonderful uplifting positive supportive, encouraging lot of replies here! Just lovely, quite made my morning! If I was OP these comments would help out of sight. Enjoy yourself, enjoy your chap and keep in mind what’s been written here. Have the best time.

Buy some nice underwear. A suspender belt would cover your tummy. Or a waspie. Or teddy.

Watch this - Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love. And have a great weekend.

You said "I'm not your regular curvy lady (the ones you see in adverts, they look gorgeous), I'm flabby and stretched."

but they are not the regular curvy lady at all, most will have a lot more wobbly bits so you really shouldn't compare yourself to them.

The thing is that you as a woman have probably only seen the ladies your size in magazines and airbrushed etc, whereas men are more likely to have seen a lot more real life ladies naked than we have!!

Op try not to worry. He's going to love your shape. I'm a 16 with huge boobs. Caesarean overhang and I'm 53. The man I'm seeing thinks I'm a goddess! You will be just fine

Thankyou all so so much :)
I'm feeling a little better. Still so nervous. Whatever underwear I choose it's going to come off, yikess!
I hope I feel confident on the night.
Just watched the Julia Roberts scene. I'm trying to think, he will be more interested in enjoying himself than looking at my body. I hope the lights are low.....

It doesn't have to come off.

I think you should tell yourself that if he doesn't like you naked, natural and as you are then is he really worth it?

I also assume you have not seen him naked - but yet I very much doubt your concerned about what is uncovered as you like him.

You are badass, gorgeous, a mother, and you are YOU. If he doesn't like it, f**k him.

You’ve done it the right way round because you both know you really like each other. Honestly he is not going to care he’s just going to be high-fiving himself at his good luck. Goforth, be confident, enjoy!

I agree with everyone- he won’t care at all, he likes you! And a size 16 isn’t huge at all. Also remember you really don’t have to have any lights on at all if you don’t want to. Good luck.

A size 16 is not very big!

Also, Caitlin Moran in "How To Be a Woman" talks about how critically women appraise their bodies. She points out how unlikely it is that you are ever going to be viewed that way by any potential partner, let alone critically examined from all angles, stark naked, in the middle of a brightly lit room, the way that so many women evaluate themselves.

You are going to be seen in the soft golden light of a small bedside lamp by a man who is dead grateful to be next to a naked woman! (And is too close to see you more than a bit at a time anyway.)

Op I love that you said “I actually have an ok head” :o

I do relate to your worries and feel similar about my body. But I agree if he fancies you he will just be thrilled and happy to be getting lucky.

Oh yes, an ‘ok head‘ is a must

I have terrible insecurity about my body and always have but logically I know it’s stupid.

Unless he’s a virgin, he’s seen real life women’s bodies before, and very few curvy women look like the curvy women you see on TV. Men know this.

I'm small and very body conscious. I don't think I'm curvy enough and worry about first time with a man.

Buy yourself a sexy nightie, matching bra and pants, nice perfume. And not all the clothes need to come off! Enjoy yourself

If he likes you in clothes, he’ll like you without clothes.

This... exactly this.