I have been with my partner now for 9 months. I have a 7 year old child, he is childless after being in a 10 year marriage.
He’d been single for a year when I met him but understandably wanted to take things slowly, scared of choosing the wrong person again and was scared of turning my son’s world upside down.
Part of taking it slow meant that I was in doubt about whether he was stringing me along, whether he could adapt to being a step parent or if it would all be too much. From June until December we were only seeing each other 2 nights a week, mostly only once a week for the first couple of months.
Fast forward 9 months, we have a lovely relationship and we communicate really well, we’re great at talking any issue through but the same issue always seems to arise, and that’s his seemingly selfish and thoughtless nature....things like not checking I’m okay after a long journey, did I get there ok, not making time for me on a Saturday because he has chores to do, not asking if I needed him when I had to take my son to a&e (we’d been together 5 months by then), not wishing me happy birthday until 5pm on the day, and more recently, agreeing to valentines cards but then turning up to my house without one on the day. Although we’ve addressed these things as they’ve happened, and he’s changed, ie he always checks in with me now after a long journey, something new always seems to happen.
He’s not completely thoughtless though, he gave me money so that I could buy a new dress for his Xmas party, and in an attempt to spend more time together, since Xmas he’s treated us to some exciting days out too. That came after we fell out because although we said we’d spend the Saturday together, when I messaged him on the Saturday morning, he said he wouldn’t be around until much later in the day because he had chores to do.
At 9 months, we’ve never said that we love each other, and although I like him, I don’t love him. I know it takes longer for some people to get there but in now have it in my head that that feeling should be there by now and since feeling let down at valentines, I can’t seem to bounce back!
Just need to hear people’s thoughts.
Thanks in advance