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Original poster

Mean with money?

97 replies

Festivalgirl83 · 20/02/2020 22:19

Been with BF for two years, we dont live together as both have young children so waiting a while to decide which area to live in.
We have a great relationship but every now and then I get a little niggle about how tight he is with money. We both earn about the same each month so equal in terms of earning but little things such as last week we went to the chippy he was ordering fish and chips for himself, me and a chip butty for his daughter...he parked right outside the cash point to pointedly tell me there's the cash point I'll see you in the chippy?! I mean it's a fiver so hardly breaking the bank.
Another example he took me away for my birthday weekend (I had paid for half the hotel) and he still told me what I owed him for petrol money.
In two years he has never just treated me to a meal out we always halve it (I have treated him occasionally to meals)
Is it just me or is being tight with money a turn off and unromantic?

OP posts:
mcmooberry · 20/02/2020 22:23

A total and utter turn off. Would have to end it or would be constantly seething.

scoobydoo1971 · 20/02/2020 22:59

Run away, he should be out to impress you in the early phase of a relationship. If you rent or buy with him, it will be for his convenience as he will be saving on rent and bills. Imagine you are living together and get sick or unemployed...do you think he would help you out with that attitude to money? You have to think about your future, especially as a parent.

TheFlis12345 · 20/02/2020 23:00

He charged you petrol money on your birthday?!? Run!

Nanny0gg · 20/02/2020 23:01

There is nothing more unattractive than someone who is tight.

They are generally mean-minded in other ways.

Oh - and he didn't 'take you away' for your birthday at all. Did he actually buy you a present?

copperoliver · 20/02/2020 23:48

Get rid being tight is so off putting. X

JKScot4 · 20/02/2020 23:51

MN is awash with posts from women MARRIED to tight gits and wanting out, walk away now.
Not paying for a chip butty?! off he fucks!
Bet he’s not skint either.

TwentyViginti · 21/02/2020 00:06

As a pp says, he didn't take you away for your birthday - as you went halves. Please reconsider this relationship. With this type of man, the tightness can soon escalate to financial abuse once you live together and he's got you trapped.

BumbleBeee69 · 21/02/2020 00:14

it would be a NO from me... end this tight arse using you OP

Sally2791 · 21/02/2020 00:17

Being tight is a complete turn off. Get rid now and save yourself trouble (and money)

tunnocksreturns2019 · 21/02/2020 00:18

Paying for half the hotel and petrol on your birthday ‘treat’? No thanks!

ivykaty44 · 21/02/2020 00:20

So he wants you to contribute to you’re birthday treat 😳

Best jyst leave him home and go alone tbh

That way he gets to spend nowt

FetchezLaVache · 21/02/2020 00:21

The only sense in which he took you away for your birthday is that he drove, OP. Did he charge you the maximum allowable mileage rate pursuant to current HMRC rules?

Please decide to live in an area in which he doesn't.

MaverlousMo · 21/02/2020 00:23

When its his birthday be sure to return the favour by asking for half the costs! I bet he won't like that!

Patsypie · 21/02/2020 00:23

Dump him. Such a turn off!

NightsOfCabiria · 21/02/2020 00:29

Oh god, there’s nothing worse than a tight arse.

Did he get you ANYTHING for your birthday or was it just a split-cost trip?

I’ve dumped men before now for;

  • forgetting their wallet (more than once)
  • stealing the tip off the table at the end of a meal
  • going back to steal the tip just as he reached the door
  • buying something as a gift but intended for him
  • saying “lets book a weekend away” but always leaving me to pay for said weekend
datasgingercatspot · 21/02/2020 00:32

How unattractive! What a miserable miser he is. He 'took you away' but you paid for your half and petrol, too? More red flags than a N. Korean rally. Do not hesitate to get rid of him!

It's not just unromantic, it's miserable AF and a real turn off.

I'd end it today. I mean, the whole birthday thing, my mouth is agape that he expected you to pay half the hotel and then charged you petrol money. Fucking hell. I'd have laughed in his face and kicked him to the kerb then and there.

Just tell him his tightness killed off your affection for him and you deserve more than someone who isn't a miser as it's no way to live. Then block him. Arsehole.

datasgingercatspot · 21/02/2020 00:35

I've dumped for the forgetting the wallet stunt just once, Nights Grin. Utter bollocks and also, they have their phone they can use that to pay or transfer money then and there. Or their smart watch. That ploy doesn't work in a digital age. Pull the other one!

Chocmallows · 21/02/2020 00:47

I have dumped a man who used the "I don't have the correct card with me today" and was then ever so happy when it was me paying again. I am happy for roughly 50:50, but when everything is calculated to the penny or mainly on me I would run!

PickleMyPepper · 21/02/2020 00:48

Your birthday, you paid for the hotel and gave him petrol money?
He wouldn't even pay for fish and chips for you?

Tell him to do one. Tightness is a horrible trait.

Imagine living with him. 'You still owe me 59p for the milk you used'
Envy bin him off now.

PickleMyPepper · 21/02/2020 00:50

As others have said, I am more than happy to split things equally or one pays this time, the other pays next.
But for things such as proper meals out, cinema trips or drinks at a bar.

Fish and chips? No chance.

CalleighDoodle · 21/02/2020 00:52

Be didnt take you away for your birthday. He took himself away for your birthday.

Did he actually get you a birthday present?

I bet you end up moving to his area...

Id leave.

datasgingercatspot · 21/02/2020 01:02

Do not subject your children to living with this tight bastard, either. Or yourself, for that matter. Just get rid.

MissGuernsey · 21/02/2020 01:14

My mouth opened wide when I saw that he expected you to pay half the petrol money to travel to a hotel you had paid half towards on your birthday weekend!

Dump the tight fucker. It won't get any better love.

PanettoneEater · 21/02/2020 01:19

People treat strangers, colleagues and acquaintances better than he treats you...

What are the pros of him/the relationship?

Could you consider living with him?

Ages ago I read a post about a woman whose partner or husband insisted everything was ‘fair’ which meant going through a receipt after the weekly shop to ensure she had paid her half of everything and paid fully for anything just for her like tampons Confused

FetchezLaVache · 21/02/2020 01:23

@PanettoneEater, I think that was my ex! Sainsburys receipts got the highlighter pen treatment - yellow for his, green for mine and pink for joint - and it was calculated to the penny who owed whom what.

Went on holiday, he started a spreadsheet to log all expenditure. Upon our return home, he worked out that I had spent six pounds more than he had on our week in the sun, so he went and got three pound coins out of his wallet and solemnly handed them over.

These people want a flatmate, not a life partner!

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