Mean with money?

[Festivalgirl83]

Been with BF for two years, we dont live together as both have young children so waiting a while to decide which area to live in.
We have a great relationship but every now and then I get a little niggle about how tight he is with money. We both earn about the same each month so equal in terms of earning but little things such as last week we went to the chippy he was ordering fish and chips for himself, me and a chip butty for his daughter...he parked right outside the cash point to pointedly tell me there's the cash point I'll see you in the chippy?! I mean it's a fiver so hardly breaking the bank.
Another example he took me away for my birthday weekend (I had paid for half the hotel) and he still told me what I owed him for petrol money.
In two years he has never just treated me to a meal out we always halve it (I have treated him occasionally to meals)
Is it just me or is being tight with money a turn off and unromantic?

Old thread but I remember it and I also hope she did!

Urgh how can you stand it?

He sounds absolutely awful. Why on earth are you with him?

God i had a boyfriend years ago and i remember queueing behind him in the off licence to buy myself a bar of chocolate. I put the chocolate on the table waiting my turn and he gave the bar of chocolate a filthy look as he thought i was trying to get him to pay for it with his stuff. I wasn't. If anything i paid for more as i earned more. Hideous.

Oh yes, I'm on this thread. I remember feeling outraged that OP said he'd taken her away for her birthday, but she'd actually paid half the bill and half the petrol!

I remember meeting some friends and we decided to stop for fish and chips (ironically), we went and got ours. Sat down and I asked where my friends gf was, he said 'oh she's just popped to the cash point so she can get cash for her chips' I remember thinking you tight sod, it's only a fiver and he made her walk down the road for cash and he had plenty on him.

Decide to stay in the area you prefer and don't bother living with him, I don't know why you're thinking about it, does he expect you to pay the mortgage.

Before I was with DH I went out with a tight wad, never again! Scrutinised the price of everything to the point where the joy seemed to be sucked out of life. No thanks.

Deeply unattractive

Ok I’m going to go against the grain here. You say you earn similar amounts, and you have said he isn’t on a massive wage, you haven’t said much about both your outgoings but he could (probably does?) have less disposable income given he’s paying maintenance for his child.

The fact your ex pays nothing and his ex has more money is irrelevant.
There is nothing wrong with expecting you to pay your way - why should he buy your chips ? I know it’s only £5 but that might have been earmarked for something else. You said he bought you a birthday present and to be honest it doesn’t sound too bad maybe that’s all he could afford, maybe he couldn’t afford the whole of the weekend hotel costs and extra petrol?

Whose idea was the weekend away ? Did he say he would treat you - just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he has to pay for everything?

He sounds like someone on a budget who is (has to be ?) careful with his money.
I would be more worried about him being tight or mean if you were saying he was regularly spending lots of time in your home, eating your food etc and not paying towards shopping and takeaways but you don’t say that.

Lmao,the petrol money xD

My feet wouldn't touch the ground I'd be off running so fast. Like the friggin roadrunner. Woooooosh!

I had a boyfriend who was a bit like that and I didn't like it. However, it was because his dad made a bad financial decision which really affected them during their childhood and he was used to being careful with money. A fab guy though and we were together 10 years. Another boyfriend was super extravagant and generous but always in debt. My ex was very generous paying for stuff but then financially controlling and tight when together.

So with my experience, this wouldn't be a deal breaker. He's not taking advantage of you, just being careful with his money and making sure he can afford treats. Makes it easy if you both have children and neither is on a big wage. Him putting his daughter first is also good in my opinion.

Nothing locks my knickers more than a tight bastard. It's deeply unsexy.

Whoa haven't you essentially admitted being a prostitute with that opinion?

Good grief just dump him. He sounds shit. For what it's worth on first dates if a guy expects us to split every single drink down the middle, he doesn't get a second.

No-no-no-no----NO!!!! ......

Living with him and splitting the bills will be absolutely hell. Don’t do that yourself OP!

This thread is a few months old so @Festivalgirl83 what happened? Did you transfer him 1p through online banking with the transaction message "you are dumped"?

OP, instead of trying to figure out why he is so unbelievably mean and tight.

Focus on why YOUR relationship bar is so LOW that you are spending time with a mean man.

So unattractive.

It goes to the core of who he is.

You are with someone who wants to take advantage of you.

Look at the examples you have given.

Most women would be gone at the first sign of this type of meanness because they know how awful it is without having to be with someone.

I certainly wouldn't be bringing him into my childrens lives and home.

You will end up paying for him.

Does he stay at yours?
Do you feed him?
Is he showering at yours?

If he is doing the above he is even more awful.

He is costing you.

You are a MUG.

Your children and you deserve better.

OP, you know darn well by what you have posted, he's a mean horror.

Why are you with him?

[grin]@squaky

Jesus Christ my vagina has shrivelled up and died just reading about this guy.

excellent evaluation

Jesus Christ my vagina has shrivelled up and died just reading about this guy

I shall be using this

Seriously OP either tell him or bin him. Do not let this carry on