I'd been seeing a really lovely man, I'm mid 40's, he's early 50's for 7 weeks, we were exclusive and he asked me to be his girlfriend quite early on, we've slept together, it took me a while as I have body issues, in that I have a mummy tummy from having twins that I feel very embarrassed about. After the first time he told me my tummy wasn't an issue and that he loved everything about my body, so I've started to relax about the way I look and I thought things were going really well. We have lots of common interests and enjoy being together.
Yesterday he was meant to come to mine for the weekend, as my children were at their dads, and we'd also arranged to go to my sisters so he could meet her. And then go out for dinner just the two of us. So he arrives we have sex, this time I relaxed and totally let myself go. I thought the sex was good and he seemed to enjoy it too. I then made us lunch and then we went to my sisters, everything seemed fine and he seemed relaxed and happy. We get back to
mine, we watched a bit of telly, he intimated cuddling in the sofa, so I was relaxed and feeling really happy. Then I say we'd better start getting ready soon, he responded with 'I need to tell you something' then proceeds to tell me how great I am but he can't get past my mummy tummy.
Omg I felt like he'd punched me in the gut. I asked him when he felt like this and he said when we had sex earlier, I couldn't stop myself from crying, not sobbing or anything, but the tears just came, I feel so humiliated that he was thinking how bad I looked while I was so unaware as he'd made me feel like my tummy didn't matter previously.
He wanted to sit down and talk about it, but I just needed him to go, I kept saying I don't know how you expect me to respond, this is me, this is how my body is and it's not going to change, and he was saying we should just talk about it. But what is there to say, how can I ever be intimate with him knowing he can't get past how my tummy looks. So again I said it was best for him to go as the relationship is done. There were no shouting or sobbing it was just tense and awkward.
I did say to him I wish he'd told me before meeting my sister as now I feel so embarrassed I'm going to have to tell her I'm not seeing him anymore after her only just meeting him. I also said I don't understand why he was initiating cuddles if he felt like he does, as it made me feel fool, cuddling thinking how well everything was going, so pathetic. He said he just thought it was best to be honest, and while I agree honesty is the best policy, in this case I think he could have been kinder and said he just wasn't feeling it anymore, not make me feel so bad about myself. Was he right though? Maybe I have overreacted but it's left me feeling like I can't show anyone ever my awful tummy and I don't know how I can pick myself up 😢