The best way to turn down right or flight?

[Movingon83]

Hi,
I’m dealing with the after effects of trauma. My brain is making my body unwell from what I’ve learnt is living in constant flight mode.

What is the best way to give by body a break? I’m hoping that if I give my body a break my mind will strengthen.

I’ve signed up for counselling but in the meantime....do I really need to medicate myself?

How long is the wait for counselling ? Sounds like you have severe anxiety / PTSD. I would take the advise of your doctor on medication. There’s are also a lot of relaxation techniques that can be used. Also have a look at anxietyuk they have a lot of tools that helped me

Months. I’ve been in denial for a long time, been trapped into denial and isolation. I’ve come to realise I can’t fix this on my own. I’ve survived this far buts in not enough just to survive. My coping mechanisms worked for a while but I need some new ones now before it’s too late.

My Husband Shamed me massively when I tried medication before. I probably still have that stigma that I’m a failure when what I want to do is live and flourish!

Massage helps some people.

Do whatever it takes to get well and feel like you are coping. Take care of yourself. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Destress with distractions, long baths, sport, reading, gym or whatever works for you. Learn to say no to people. Take whatever medication your gp thinks is appropriate. Get the counselling. Your mind and body are not separate, they are one. Look after them both.

Screw what your husband thinks. If medication helps then get it. You need to get yourself well.

I have to tackle my fear head on because not acting upon it is destroying my life. Living in fear and not being able to do what your body wants to do and run has left me exhausted.

I’m really worried that your husband is adding to your trauma. It’s very hard to deal with his issues as well as your own. Do you have anyone who is being supportive?

The Body Keeps The Score by Dr Bessel van der Kolk is a really good read for people who need more clarity on PTSD’s effects.

Breathing techniques, recognising when you need to retreat, finding good counselling, medication.

Best of luck

The last thing I want to have done is left and then wreck my sons life because I didn’t try everything to fix the damage it caused.

Yes I’m busy reading and yes he is adding to it, just the fact he is alive adds to it. Difference is now I know it happened so it’s me that needs to change, I’m not focused on him anymore.

Are you still with your husband, or living apart? Is your son young? I’m so sorry you’re suffering so much, it sounds like you’re struggling.

I had that about 4 years ago.
I went to the GP asking for help. He gave me setraline for 6 months, which helped inhibit the insane amount of cortisol I was producing (so switched off fight or flight instinct). This in turn gave my body a chance to catch up on sleep.
I also had well-being sessions through the GP. CBT course for 6 weeks, 12 sessions of counselling through Time to talk. I restarted swimming as well.
Hope you feel better soon, there is a way out :)

No I left the house a year ago. Son is almost 4.

Google emotional freedom technique- lots of youtube videos about it- its been shown to be very effective for trauma and PTSD

I will do anything because I want to do more than just survive now. He has kept me from living in the present so I need re-learn how to stay in it.

This happened to me too. I thought I was going insane. It took quite a while to recover, I probably never have fully as I still have periods where it revisits and I had to get my ex out in order to even attempt to recover. There was a relaxation podcast by an American therapist I used to listen to. Whenever I felt like I was going over the edge I would force myself to lie down and do exactly what the podcast told me to. That really helped and often I would drop off to sleep during, which I so desperately needed. Sorry I can't remember her name, I've tried to search but no joy but I imagine there's plenty similar apps or podcasts about.

Hyperarousal.

Does home feel safe? Is it secure? Do you feel confident you can call the police if you ever needed them?

What do you do at home if a memory is activated and you want to run? Do you let yourself? Do you have a safe space in your home you could retreat to and stay there until it passes? Rather than continually trying to block yourself.

Keep it simple too, just repeat one clear statement to yourself when your trauma is activated: "this is not happening now" , or "this will pass" or "I'm safe now".

The first stage of trauma treatment is stabilisation and establishing safety so you spend less time in a state of hyperarousal like you describe.

Found her! She's actually Canadian. I don't know if she'll be helpful for you but she truly was for me.

www.podchaser.com/creators/candi-raudebaugh-107ZzpurU9

Where I’m living at the moment is safe but I can’t be myself in it. I have to pretend to be ok. Yes I know I can call the police but it’s more my thoughts that scare me now.

When I get a thought I don’t know what to do with it. It activated my body before I even get a chance.

I think that if I could slow down the part between the thought and the response it might give me a chance it to figure out. I don’t think my thoughts completely skip the rational part of my brain now and absorb into my body.

Sorry I think not don’t think.

Movingon83 I think it’s great that you can see what you need to do but at the moment your bodies chemistry is stopping you. Have you been to see your GP recently? Do you have any activity that calms you?
There are some simple things you could try - concentrate on just one thing, like the soles of your feet on the floor and just breathe to a count of five in and five out.

Yes I try and ground myself and tell myself what’s real. I look where I am and say to myself what I see. I have made a GP appointment to ask them for advice. I tried anti-depressants before and had a bad experience. That’s probably because H told me that I was shameful so never gave them a chance!

That’s great to hear, your ex was wrong. There’s no shame apart from what he should be feeling.

It sounds like you’re moving in the right direction. I really admire you for being so strong, you’ve done incredibly well to get away and start living again. Let us know how you get on.

Could you literally go for a run? It's like a flood of adrenalin, so it might be good to use it in the way nature intends?