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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why has my ex unblocked me on WhatsApp?

52 replies

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 11:17

A month ago I broke up with my boyfriend.
I still have feelings for him but he wasn't treating me the best.
We had a big argument and he said he was done.
He waited 2 weeks then deleted me off social media and blocked me on WhatsApp (I hadn't been texting him he just randomly did it)
Now this morning I had a look (I admit I keep checking ) and he has unblocked me.
Why ? He only blocked me 13 days ago.
If he was totally done would he unblock me?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 13/02/2020 12:23

Just delete him.

It really isn’t healthy to keep checking on what he’s doing on social media.

Block, delete, move on.

Cheeseandwin5 · 13/02/2020 12:24

we know he OP wasn't happy how she was treated but that doesnt mean he was treating her badly. He may have been just as unhappy about how she was treating him, we just don't know.
There doesn't have to be a male villain for every story.
What we do know is that she was unhappy but she still loves him.
If changes can be made why cant she have he option of it giving it a go. She needs to control the narrative, rather than allow others bias to do it.

Scoleah · 13/02/2020 12:26

Probably because when you are blocked he can't check if you've been online or not; but now he can see & monitor

Socksorting · 13/02/2020 12:31

Have a read of the thread ‘Dumped by text’. A lesson in dignity there.

BecauseReasons · 13/02/2020 12:34

@Cheeseandwin5

OP said, When it first ended I wanted answers about why he was behaving so awful.

And also I think he owes me an apology but I doubt I will get it. He's very stubborn and is never wrong (in his eyes )

Doesn't sound like there is the potential for change there. Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Bartlet · 13/02/2020 12:36

Wow Cheese. So he dumped her, wouldn’t explain why apart from saying it was her fault and then blocked her. You think that she should leave the communication channels open and possibly drop him a text asking how he is.

This kind of pacifism in light of bad behaviour is why these shitty men think that they can behave so badly and get away with it. It’s not acceptable and you should be aiming higher OP.

YasssKween · 13/02/2020 12:54

@cheeseandwin5

But he's a grown man, if he wants to make amends with OP and try again then he's perfectly capable of starting a conversation with her like an adult.

I don't think that unblocking someone is quite enough of a declaration of remorse and love to warrant OP feeling any differently than she did before he unblocked her.

It's what a 15 year old would do to test the water with an ex without having to actually risk rejection.

crustycrab · 13/02/2020 13:00

Delete his number. Block first if you want to or don't. But delete his number

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 14:42

I'm not even gonna give him the satisfaction of analysing it.
Like people have said if he had wanted to speak he would have text.

OP posts:
notthisshitagain · 13/02/2020 14:46

What did you do with his football ticket?

Cheeseandwin5 · 13/02/2020 15:31

@BecauseReasons and @Bartlet

It says they broke up - it doesnt say who instigated it
It says the OP wanted answers after the break up- are we now saying that once you break up with someone you need to give them a reason why. I have read and agreed with many ppl who have said you dont need a reason to break up, I have never heard anyone say but if you do than you should have a good reason to tell him afterwards.

Please dont misunderstand me though- I am not saying that the OP should get back with him or that he deserves this. All I am saying is that if she has doubt then why not keep the number until she is sure.
Maybe she can get the answers she wants now the dust has settled, maybe better communication may help them even if it is too move.
Maybe over time she will realise she just care and delete the number than. She needs to do it when she is ready to close the door and I dont she is at that stage yet.

StormTreader · 13/02/2020 15:54

He wants to see when you were last online so he can see if youre "talking to other men already"(online and offline a lot) with a side order of "maybe she'll come crawling back", and you need to be unblocked for both of those.

BecauseReasons · 13/02/2020 16:10

It says they broke up - it doesnt say who instigated it

I thought OP instigated it, from the post, not that it makes a blind bit of difference either way.

It says the OP wanted answers after the break up- are we now saying that once you break up with someone you need to give them a reason why.

No, it says she wanted to know why he was 'behaving so awful'. The break-up is neither here or there.

NameChangeNugget · 13/02/2020 16:26

Why have you even noticed? You should have blocked him when he binned you off.

Worry about the future and good luck Flowers

Nowayorhighway · 13/02/2020 16:33

Meh, he probably wants you to crawl back to him. Don’t stoop to his level, just block him.

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 18:32

I know I stupidly have been looking every day.
You know when you just have a gut feeling.
He blocked me for 12 days ish then unblocked..pointless exercise

OP posts:
gamerchick · 13/02/2020 18:37

So is checking everyday a pointless exercise.

Draw a line, block him instead and move on man.

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 13/02/2020 18:50

Nooooo, don't block him. That's letting him know that he's still in your head.
The best revenge is to do nothing.

BecauseReasons · 13/02/2020 20:00

Nooooo, don't block him. That's letting him know that he's still in your head.

No, it's refusing to play any petty games and preventing an ex from stalking her. I see no downside.

everybodyshowlove2020 · 13/02/2020 20:09

Op he's simply playing with you,
probably thinks your text to say hi, or ask him why he broke up with you or even to get some attention from you - believing that your be extra lonely with Valentines.

Either way IT DOESNT MATTER!!!
Because you don't need that in your life. You have coped and you have at times been happy without him so learn from this and BLOCK HIM.

He won't expect it.

Because there isn't anything worse than talking to an EX, getting sucked back in and being broken all over again.
Even if he simply says he did it by accident; your feel so awful again,

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 21:50

Tbh these last couple of days I've felt happy again.
No constant nervous feeling in my stomach
Starting to enjoy things again,I was on such a downer.
I'm not even sure I miss him anymore

OP posts:
zasknbg · 13/02/2020 21:52

Why don’t you just delete all his contact details?

dontgobaconmyheart · 13/02/2020 22:06

Onwards and upwards then OP, stop getting drawn in to checking. It is a pointless exercise, him blocking your or not changes nothing and means nothing- he also owes you nothing and that includes an apology. It's ended.

The biggest favour you can do yourself is to remember it's ended, he is nothing to do with you now (which sounds like a positive) and stop analysing his movements or hoping for an apology. Everyone is absolutely right to point out the blocking is irrelevant, he could have got hold of you numerous other ways if he wanted I'm sure and hasn't bothered.

tiredgirl123 · 13/02/2020 22:06

Dont know if it helps but I recently unblocked my ex, I could possibly have to contact him for work and I actually came to the conclusion that I wasn't ever going to contact him socially, nor did I want to see his last online etc.. but I'm over the break up, it was a tough one but..time is a healer. No way of knowing why your ex did but you should aim for not even checking, delete the number if necessary. There is no need for any contact, hope you are ok OP x

andifyouever · 14/02/2020 07:43

I know deleting all his contact details is the correct thing to do.
It all seemed very final but maybe it's the right choice.
IM never going to contact him so pointless holding on to them.

OP posts:
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