Would you think he’s not interested if he did this?

[KatieKiteFight]

Met online, had 5 dates, not slept together but done plenty else. He’s said a lot of nice things, hasn’t been overbearing but has suggested follow on dates and things for us to do.

We had a loose plan to meet this weekend. We spoke last night and it was nice, I said I couldn’t commit to Friday night because of work (won’t say what as it’s outing).

I realised this morning I could feasibly see him tonight on my way home as a home visit has been cancelled. Text him to suggest it, he’s been online but not replied.

I don’t want to waste my time and as I really like him I don’t want to make a mistake and carry on if this is a clear sign he’s not actually that arsed.

What do you think?

I don't think he's not interested. It's a last minute ask. Give him a little longer.

how long has it been since you sent the message?

It's a bit last minute and messing him around, and expecting him to be there when you want.

I think you need to calm down.

He may be trying to rearrange other plans now you are available?

He may have glanced at the message but hasn't had time to reply? I can read messages walking from office to car, I cant reply easily as I walk so would be a bit blunt.

Dont read too much into it.

I think you're jumping the gun a bit give him chance to reply. How long ago did you send it?

For you OP to jump to this I am guessing there has already been a thought in your mind before that he's not overly interested.

It may simply be an accident him not replying, I do it all the time. Write the message but don't send it or
He's busy with other stuff.

Make your decision and stick to it. If you don't hear back at 3pm go home and relax.

I just think if he was keen he’d be happy about it and reply straight away? I would

Ok. But your way of responding immediately is not everyone's way.

It's hard to tell if you have a reason to believe if he's not interested or if you're quite needy in relationships.

when did you send the message? and has he read it?

I don’t mind delayed replies usually but something like this you’d think if he liked me enough he’d be excited to say yes.

He’s not read it but he’s been online

This is why I get rid on 'online' status and blue ticks when I started dating! People don't have to be available 24/7 just because you can see they might have been online.

Why don't you call him and then you'll know one way or the other.

When did you send it?

Perhaps he's got loose plans tonight, and has just been online to message whoever to check if they're on, so he knows whether he can see you or not?

Maybe he made other plans when you said you weren't available?

Maybe he just doesn't want to come across as 'too keen' or 'too available'. That doesn't mean he doesn't like you but might mean he's been hurt in the past so is holding back a bit, or wants things to move slower.
He may also not want to say 'no' straight away for fear of upsetting you so is hanging off responding to you.
There are a hundred other reasons for him not responding immediately!

Maybe he's checking if he is available too. You are sounding a bit like you want him at your beck and call here, even if you're not meaning it that way. You couldn't commit to plans straght away because of work but you seem to want him to. Give him a couple of hours, he may either have read but not been able to reply (I do this a lot) or he may be trying to sort his evening out to accommodate you.

You are massively overthinking this. You've made a last-minute suggestion, give him a chance to respond

Blimey, you sound really intense OP

You're being very demanding! He's not your bf, you've been on only 5 dates - so you don't get a monopoly on his time (availability and response). He might have other plans and is debating whether to re-arrange or see you on the weekend as planned. He might just be busy working and has no time to decide what he wants to do. Or not sure how his day will pan out. Or maybe he likes you but doesn't want to see you today and not sure how to respond.

If he doesn't reply to you at all today, then yes, be peeved. But unless he's done anything else to show lack of interest (Doesn't seem it from your OP), leave him be. He is not you and it's unreasonable to expect him to do something because that's how you would.

Blimey op that's a bit much, expecting him to be "excited" because you are free tonight.

I'm sorry but I think you have just answered my question, you're needy in relationships.

You are being a bit overbearing here.

Has he read it yet?

Agree with all pp. Chill out a bit.

I think I’m definitely being a bit too much. I’ve not been demanding on his time or anything but clearly my expectations are way off! I’ve not dated in many years so I need to get used to it again.

I would have been excited to see him so I guess I hoped he would feel the same. It is early days though and we are not teenagers. I think I needed this wake up call!