He has disappeared

[Sosounhappy]

Been seeing somebody since May. Seeing him twice a week. Last saw him on Thursday. Said catch up soon no arguments. Normally messages everyday. No contact since Thursday and ignored my messages yesterday. What would you do?

@Sosounhappy, do you only see him on particular day's and do they include a weekend?

Agree, have you asked him how come? It's very odd to be in a relationship this long, to not have over nights, to seek permission to visit etc.

As said, I'm not sure where you think this relationship is going, but if you're hoping it has a future like living together, even marriage etc you know that's not what he's looking for. If it was he'd tell you the truth. If you're happy to just be a fwb, with no future, then continue, irrelevant of it he is married or not.

The thing is I don't think you want that. So all you're doing is investing time with a man who doesn't even want to spend the night with you and who you suspect is lying to you.

In some ways I suspect you think it is preferable he is married, rather than he just doesn't want to treat you well. But it's not preferable because he's not looking to end his marriage.

@Sosounhappy You honestly need to have it out with him. Exactly why is it difficult?

It's difficult for my DP to stay over on certain nights due to my DC being home. She's a teenager and I personally don't want him staying while she is in the house at such an early stage of our relationship (3 months). But that is the only difficulty. We work out when we are seeing each other for the next few weeks and take it in turns to go to each other's houses. I'd say that is normal.

Your situation sounds very strange. He seems very guarded and I'd want to know why. If that was my chap, I'd be dumping him for not being open and upfront. This is 7 months in...not 7 weeks!

he's Married...

It is weird that it's OK to go to his house but not to stay. He's obviously hiding something, the only reason you'll know what is to ask him... Or walk away...

Another vote for married

He found his phone after you text?
Hmm.
Coinkidink

I also vote married.

Why is it difficult?

So I gave him an ultimatum either we spend more time together or it is over

Not more time together. Time as his house. He could just come round yours more. You need to know what he is hiding. I would turn up spontaneously at his house dressed to kill but I am a bit of a bitch

Sorry OP, it sounds to me like he probably is married.

But even if he’s not, I would still be v concerned that he doesn’t seem to want to make you a proper part of his life

Did he respond ?

Are you supposed to be exclusive? You are upset that he may be married or partnered, but you have been commenting recently about other men you are dating and about being on dating sites.

@MsDogLady the plot thickens

Also noticed you asked about letting a spouse know about a cheating partner a few months back so you've obviously had these doubts for quite a while and not done much about finding out more....seems you are very easily placated and satisfied with the crumbs you are getting
You have doubts so what exactly are you going to do to quash them?

MsDogLady Oh really, I've missed that bit on here!

anothernamejeeves Thing is, did OP not say they live 50 miles apart, what if she turned up and he was out, that would be frustrating! I did ask how they met considering the distance but OP has not replied.