He has disappeared

[Sosounhappy]

Been seeing somebody since May. Seeing him twice a week. Last saw him on Thursday. Said catch up soon no arguments. Normally messages everyday. No contact since Thursday and ignored my messages yesterday. What would you do?

Also, what/who are the street rats?

He sounds like an oddball and you are obviously dissatisfied with the status quo.

Life’s too short for fuckboys OP.

He sounds like an oddball

We've got enough trouble with curveballs, kerbballs and curbballs, don't bring oddballs into the mix too

Oh fgs with your curve balls

Are you the Asda car park lady?

Sounds weird...after seeing someone for 7 months and it all being very one sided.

I've been seeing someone long distance for 3 months and we've both been to each other's houses lots of times and met each other's friends and family...all very open. Plus a month in there was the night he mislaid his phone (he was drunk) but was still logged into Whatsapp on his PC so managed to message me to ask me to call his phone as he thought he had left it at the pub. We then established his phone must be in the house somewhere due to the fact Whatsapp web needs to work with the phone in the vicinity. He had put it in his cutlery drawer whilst he was drunkenly making a sandwich LOL!! He was in a complete panic about it because we hadn't exchanged email addresses by that point so we've now set up a back up plan just in case it happens again.

Either way OP, distance shouldn't be an issue and whoever said the distance would = the relationship not going anywhere is talking out their arse. Lots of LDR work out totally fine. However, your's seems to definitely have red flags by the sounds of it. I'd be having an honest conversation with him and also prepare for the fact there is no future in this relationship if it carries on like this.

So can go over this week. I suggested staying the night let's see what come backs

@Sosounhappy

I'd also be asking him for a contingency plan should 'losing his phone' happen again. To be in a relationship of 7 months and no stop overs is quite frankly, odd.

Married, not married, a dozen ladies stashed under the bed...who knows? Social media and official records pertaining to marriage available online might tell you, especially if you have his date of birth and address. However, the bottom line is he isn't exactly racing to involve you in his life, or reply to your messages...which suggests he may be less than a perfect match. Relationships, especially in the early stages, are not intended to be hard-work.

If you know his address you can search the electoral roll online, that'll tell you the names of all those at his address registered to vote.

@Sosounhappy How's Mr Lovely you posted about on the dating thread? Been seeing him a month is it?

I need some rest bite from all the curb balls :)

Tell me Op, did you spend Christmas Day together?
I've been with DP 4 years, he spends Christmas Day with his family, I spend it with mine

How many times have you been away for the weekend together?
3 times in 4 years

Did you go to his office Christmas night out?
He doesn't have one

Have you met any of his family?
Nope

Does he have photos of you and him on his Social media?
He's not on social media

My point is that while all the questions you've asked need to be considered, they don't mean he's married. I know for a fact that DP isn't and never has been married, some people are just different
(I do go to / stay at his house 1-2 times a week though.)

''It is the not knowing to be honest if he said it was over it would be easier''

I agree w''ith the poster who said ''so take control and tell him it's over''.

It doesn't have to be a total door slam.

You could say ''Nice meeting you but uncertainty is not for me, so drawing a line here, good luck, good wishes.''

So can go over this week. I suggested staying the night let's see what come backs

OOOhhhhhh has he answered yet ?

Call me cynical but you end it and a few hours later he's back saying he'd lost his phone!

I actually think you're right to suspicious and I would want to find out. Is there a pattern to when he sees you? Do you see him weekends or only week days. Suggesting a weekend away is a great idea. Hotels are dirt cheap atm too.

Hmm staying over is difficult apparently

Hmm staying over is difficult apparently

So you've pretty much got your answer then.

Easy answer to this is to make an unannounced visit to his house one evening. That will tell you everything.

I would take a guess that OP doesn't have his address?....

Does he live with his mother?

I don't get this..

Can you not ask "why is staying over difficult? Are you married or something?"

Why not be upfront?

Why are you even mulling this over?

He’s not willing to share this living space with you.

Other woman, wife, gerbils, whatever combined with the mini ghosting should be enough for you to be saying “you know what? not for me”.

I hate people staying at my house during the week when I have to go to work. It interrupts my work day routine. I'm not married
However putting it alltogether it does seem wiered. I dont know if he is married though maybe he just doesnt like it too heavy and wants to keep you at arms length, emotionally unavailable.
Obviously you need to find out if he is married or not. If he isn't you need to decide if you're happy the way things are. You can end it you know. You dont have to wait for him to do it.

So have you asked why? And if not, why not?

Hmm staying over is difficult apparently

Have you asked why it's difficult?