Do I expect too much?

[Lcjams]

So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 15 months. He is part of a local cricket club and had to buy flowers for some of the WAGS that help out in the club (doing teas, cleaning,etc)
He took £50 out of the club money to buy these and went to the florist to get 5 bouquets.
I didn't know he was doing this and when i went round to his house questioned the flowers. He explained and i joked where was my bunch from him. He wasnt happy about this off the cuff comment and said he only had the exact amount, flourist didnt accept card payment and i shouldn't expect flowers from him anyway.
In the whole time we've been together he has only bought me flowers once when it was my birthday. He drives past said florist every day on his way home from work and never thinks to buy me any. He even dropped some off as a surprise outside one of the other cricket WAGS workplace because she couldnt attend the actual ceremony where they all received them. I would love to be surprised with him standing with flowers at my work!!!

Am i just young and naive (25yrs) to think a boyfriend should buy flowers randomly for his girl? My dad buys my mum flowers every other month or so and has done for the last 30 years. Do i expect too much?

DP has never bought me flowers in the whole 16 years we've been together. I don't understand why it's a problem, but we don't "do" valentines day either because it's nonsense.

'Young and naive' OP? You're 25, not 18.
It would be nice if he bought you flowers, however in this scenario it was a task for the club, not off his own back.
'WAGS' did make me chuckle though, it's a cricket club not the England team!

The bar for men is very low these days.

@GiveHerHellFromUs I don't know exactly because random is nice, but probably more than once in 15 months I think, maybe every two or three months perhaps?

@Bluewater1 I think it's a tricky one because I'd feel that every couple of months was done out of habit. I know someone whose DH buys flowers once a month and I think it's a bit much.

Hopefully OPs DP takes the hint though because I'm sure she'd like that!

they couldn't have been much of a bouquet if he got 5 for £50. That was quite tight actually, considering all they've done for free.

I don't really care about flowers but once in Tesco I commented that the blue lilly type things looked nice.

Every bloody week I get a bunch now 😂 he does vary the colours at least. This week I've got purple ones 😊

I now use it as a running joke - if he forgets to get new ones when the old ones have gone all manky, I take a photo and say the flowers represent the state of our marriage with the #wilted

Op is saying she would like some flowers not sure what is wrong with that. Is a gesture of love and thanks.

It's only a gesture of love and thanks if he does it unprompted. Otherwise it's just a chore he does so he doesn't get moaned at, surely?

My DH never buys me flowers but if I say I've had a bad day he might bring me chocolates. When I had an awful cold last week he got up at 5am to walk the dog so I'd get an extra hour in bed. That's love - not a cheap bunch of flowers.

OP - I think your Dad is more unusual than your boyfriend in this respect.

I wouldn't ditch him for not buying flowers.... I would ditch this fuckers arse for his mean nasty response to a simple question... asked by the woman he is supposed to care about.. he's a Prick OP

OP you need to stop comparing your boyfriend to people on social. It's not very nice or appreciative of him as a person.

It comes across ungrateful and entitled.

You would not like it if he did the same to you and become resentful because you didn't look like or act like other women on social media.

You seem jealous of the other 'WAGs', and you've made something nice for them all about you somehow. That's got to be so tiring for your boyfriend.

Plus you've only been there together 15 months...ease up!

If he's never going to be good enough for you, maybe let him go? I'm sure someone else would just be happy to be around him without him having to buy them things that other people have on social media.

OP, I don't think you are entitled or ungrateful at all. I normally internally groan when someone mentions Love Languages, but in this case I think it is entirely relevant.

He may well be someone who expresses his love through practical actions, whereas you feel loved when you receive a romantic gesture. Nothing wrong with either way - but the communication is key.

So I'd say to him something like, 'I know the flower thing probably seemed silly to you, because you show me you love me in other ways. But to me, getting flowers or some other inexpensive gesture every so often would make me feel loved and secure. And I'd love to know what I can do to make you feel more loved and secure too?'

After a conversation like that, a person who loves another person will know how to make them feel loved - and will want to do whatever the 'thing' is. Not out of wanting to not be nagged, but simply out of a desire to make their partner feel good. And if you don't want to make your partner feel good, well then what's the point?

You are not being unreasonable for expecting a simple bunch of flowers in the first 15 months of your new relationship...

@BumbleBeee69 she's had a bunch in the first 15 months

You are not being unreasonable for expecting a simple bunch of flowers in the first 15 months of your new relationship

Why do you need a bunch of flowers at all? Are there not better ways of showing you care?

@adaline probably but then what would she put on social media?

Why do you need a bunch of flowers at all?

She doesn't NEED them... nobody NEEDS them.. it's a nice gesture as he was in there anyway... it's his response that bothers me more tbh..

He wasnt happy about this off the cuff comment and said he only had the exact amount, flourist didnt accept card payment and i shouldn't expect flowers from him anyway.

This response is just fucking RUDE....

Yeah i think youre expecting a bit much. I understand how you feel though and Im sure alot of women would love their partner to do the same. However alot of men dont really get the little stuff that we tend to like lol i.e regular flowers. I wouldnt spend too much time thinking about it

I can buy my own flowers. What I can't do is give myself a hug, listen to myself moaning on after a shit day and or make myself laugh when everything is a bit crap.

In 18 years dh has bought flowers twice. However, he has just made me a cup of tea because I am too lazy to get it myself. Now that's real love.

@BumbleBeee69 how was his response rude? Passive aggressive complaints passed off as jokes are rude IMO.

My OH doesn’t really ‘do’ flowers....very rarely I’ll get a bunch if they’re reduced
He does, on the other hand, come home from the shop with avocado, smoked salmon, Jaffa cakes, my favourite hair conditioner etc. This is far more important to me. Anyone can grab a bunch of flowers....not everyone knows about my secret avocado and Jaffa cake obsession

You’re annoyed because he had to buy flowers for other people and didn’t include you? Do you do what these other people do for the cricket club?

Ha! I was just like you in my last relationship OP. I love a bunch of flowers. I used to request a bunch every time we spoke on the phone 🤣 he'd say no because he didnt want to look like a lemon carrying daisies. Then he bought me a beautiful bouquet, I squealed (even I'm cringing writing this) and he loved my reaction so much he proceeded to buy me some nearly every month for the next 2 years. So I get it. We love flowers from them🤗

@BumbleBeee69 how was his response rude? Passive aggressive complaints passed off as jokes are rude IMO.

Telling OP that she shouldn't expect flowers from HIM anyway... that IS rude ... and intimately it's not about the Flowers... she can buy her own flowers.. it's his attitude that have me kicking his rude ass to the kerb...