Do I expect too much?

[Lcjams]

So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 15 months. He is part of a local cricket club and had to buy flowers for some of the WAGS that help out in the club (doing teas, cleaning,etc)
He took £50 out of the club money to buy these and went to the florist to get 5 bouquets.
I didn't know he was doing this and when i went round to his house questioned the flowers. He explained and i joked where was my bunch from him. He wasnt happy about this off the cuff comment and said he only had the exact amount, flourist didnt accept card payment and i shouldn't expect flowers from him anyway.
In the whole time we've been together he has only bought me flowers once when it was my birthday. He drives past said florist every day on his way home from work and never thinks to buy me any. He even dropped some off as a surprise outside one of the other cricket WAGS workplace because she couldnt attend the actual ceremony where they all received them. I would love to be surprised with him standing with flowers at my work!!!

Am i just young and naive (25yrs) to think a boyfriend should buy flowers randomly for his girl? My dad buys my mum flowers every other month or so and has done for the last 30 years. Do i expect too much?

Are you seriously judging your relationship on how often your boyfriend buys you flowers? God help you if you ever experience an actual problem

You said he "had to buy flowers for some of the WAGS".

That implies that it wasn't his idea. He was tasked with it.

Buying flowers isn't normally his thing. No big deal.

Op is saying she would like some flowers not sure what is wrong with that.
Is a gesture of love and thanks.
To say men don't buy gifts - why not? Because we make it acceptable.
My ds 14 for Christmas bought me a speaker for my car and bathroom as he knows I love music, for bday he got me a much needed bag. They were gift he knew I needed but wouldn't get myself as I spend most my money on bills and then.

We shouldn't think that it's acceptable for a token gift not to be given by men.

Exdp would get me sweets on his way home or cake. It's the little things that make you feel happy.

Do you think it would mean he valued you more if he bought you flowers OP? Why? Because we see it on the tv all the time and women who men really especially like or find attractive get them?

Do you buy him flowers? The whole things seems a bit sexist and silly. Just go and buy yourself some flowers OP if you want some. Even if he does buy you some it will only be because you asked so what on earth is the point. They don't mean anything other than in your own mind. Unless there are other issues in the relationship where you have a fundamental problem with him not demonstrating affection or love then I would drop it.

Definitely agree that I just can't believe he got 5 florist bouquets for £50 - they must have been bloody tiny ?

@Graciebutterfly it's fine that she would like them. It's the fact she expects them thats an issue

It's the little things that make you feel happy

No, this is what makes you (and plenty of others) feel happy. What makes me feel happy is that DP doesn't waste money on flowers but treats me well.

Thanks for all your replies, think sometimes i see perfect relationships around me and the social media bubble that everyone lives in and just need a bit if a reality check. I am very low in self-confidence and working on this, but hence why i worry about every little thing in our relationship.

He is a great boyfriend amd does do lots of other things for me, like you said @JeffreysWorkTrousers he does little things like de-ice the car and stuff which shows he cares.
I just need to get the Disney romance expectations out of my head and appreciate all the pther good stuff he does.

What do you buy him?

I honestly think you have been watching too many romantic movies.

What does he do to make you feel treasured?

I fcking hate cut flowers- they look nice for like 2 days but then they die and drop droopy petals and bits of leaves everywhere and they stink when they die and then you have to dispose of them.

I'd much rather have makeup or clothes as a gift.

@beautifulstranger101 my sister bought me a bunch from Morrison's and they lasted for about 2 weeks! Still looked fresh for the whole time. I have no idea how.

Took DP about a week to even ask who'd bought them

@GiveHerHellFromUs

Thats impressive! I wish they did last longer- makes me so sad to see them droop- even with the little sachets of plant food you get with them.

beautifulstranger101 I live in a house with no central heating. Bunches of cut flowers last 3 weeks plus in here!

I have some hyacinth bulbs which a friend bought me for my birthday (end of November) which were just poking leaves when she bought them.

They are yet to flower (although they are getting there). I get my money's worth out of flowers!

I have wondered if central heating is the culprit- we have ours on quite high

Like others, I'd also like to know if you buy him surprise presents for no reason?

Does he know that you'd appreciate having flowers bought for you? I personally hate getting flowers, so this is really not a given. I'd be much happier that he'd deiced the car :)

Sorry OP- didnt mean to derail the convo.

Look up love languages- everyone is different in what they need to feel loved. It might be yours are just different to his. But if you'd like flowers then TELL HIM that! Its ok to verbalise what you'd like.

@eenymeenyminyme did I say it was flowers that made me happy or a token gift occasionally?

They've been together 15 months so 1 (possibly 2) birthdays and 1 Valentines Day. 1 bunch of flowers out of 2 or 3 possible flower giving occasions sounds reasonable to me.

Laughing at the use of WAG in the OP. Thought WAGS watched matches and looked glamorous rather than clean, do teas etc

Social media is a load of dross. For all you know someone's bought themselves flowers, nagged OH to buy them, or they might get lovely flowers but have a shit relationship. I get flowers on occasion, but I much prefer a nice plant (not that I'm ungrateful for whatever I get).

Saying that I was the recipient of a couple £1 bunches of daffodils a few days ago. Which I was very pleased with!

People have different opinions about giving and receiving flowers. I don't expect it and it wasn't something my parents did for each other. Therefore, I wouldn't be disappointed about a partner not giving them to me. Maybe your BF is like that and just doesn't realize it's something you expect or would enjoy.

The key issue is how you communicate about your needs in the relationship, I guess? You're going to need to be clear (not vague or passive-aggressive or jokey) about explaining how important it is to you (if it is important). And then be willing to listen to his response and try to understand it (maybe he'll say "Sure, I'll start buying you flowers once a month;" maybe he'll say "I think that's extravagant and I'd rather spend the £20 on us doing something fun together"). And then decide if you can accept what the two of you agree on.

But it's not fair to just assume that everyone else takes random flowers for granted--that's not going to be the norm for lots of people.

@Lcjams I too live in that bubble of romance and when I don’t get it I feel really sorry for myself! I work with a guy who is very sweet with his girlfriend, buys her flowers weekly, asked me to help him plan a valentines treat for his girlfriend etc. Consequently I go home to my boyfriend scratching his arse asking what’s for tea And i feel hard done to! But remind yourself of all the wonderful things your bf does for you!

p.s. I sometimes buy myself a bunch of carnations and they last for AGES.

Your over reacting. I’ve been with DH for 13 years and I’ve got flowers twice in that time. Get a grip OP!

I think yes, you are expecting too much. No one should buy flowers or something in the first place, it is a surprise made out of will, not a duty. The main thing in the relationships is trust and support, not the flowers. If you are happy with the man then don`t pick on little nothings like this one.