Help! Discovered another woman!

[2senoughforme]

I have found two lipsticks in my husband’s car. Side pocket. Passenger seat. The first one I found he froze and acted strangely and completely refused to discuss it. He kept this up and acted strangely. Our kids were in the car. I thought it was a weird wind up ( he can be a bit strange in his humour.)
Second one found last night. Shit. What do I do? He doesn’t know about this one. I can only think of one possible person.
Any advice gratefully received. I’m stunned.
I think he will refuse to discuss it.
We have had marriage probs and are not in a good place.
😳🤷‍♀️🤯🤔😢

Messaging apps like Kik. Or you can have 'secret' conversations on Messenger. Telegram's another one. The point is that there are innocuous looking apps that when you click on them are actually something else entirely.

Thanks. He’s getting antsy that I’m on my phone so I’ll read on in a bit. Xxx

Thanks Nom I’ll look!

In a similar situation a few years ago, my one regret is that I didn't have him followed when I first suspected, would have saved me a lot of time and stress.

I couldn’t help but confront him but it’s probably best that you hold it together and don’t yet but it’s really hard on you to keep quiet on this,have you checked his drawers etc coat pockets?

Someone has left them for you to find them, to force a confrontation

definitely been left deliberately... someone is trying to force his hand OP.. good luck

OP, if you are wanting to go as far as to hire a private detective then the relationship is over.

You know he’s seeing someone else, more proof isn’t going to make any difference to that fact. And on the off-chance he isn’t seeing someone else, hiring a PI will undoubtedly cause a permanent breakdown in your marriage since the trust has gone.

If you would leave if you found the evidence then you should leave now, since evidence will only show you what you already know.

Another one here echoing the OW planting them with the sole purpose of you finding them, to force a confrontation.

I found out about an OW late last year, she also forced his hand. He didn't want to fess up so she added me to Facebook to spook him. Muggings here thought nothing of it and just deleted the request. He came clean later that night under duress as he knew the game was up and she told him she had added me.

So sorry OP. It is gut wrenching.

Play smart (and dumb to him) and do what digging you can. Sort your finances, then fuck him off and take whatever you can!

Don’t waste money on private investigator, I know two people who used them, they cost a lot of money, and failed to find out anything useful.
Seriously.

What about a tracker on his car? Any thoughts?

Book a solicitor for advice re what you can expect if you split.
Get 12 months of bank statements, pension statements and other financial information.
Copies of marriage certificate and passports.
Then gather your evidence and work out a plan.
Once you have all the information, decide what you want before you confront him.
You tell him how it is going to go.
Good luck

You could put a mobile in his car. Find my iPhone app kind of thing. You can get a cheap second hand iPhone in CEX. Nothing illegal about a phone being left in the car

If you're sure you know who it is, play her at her own game. Put it in a jiffy envelope and post it to her anonymously at work. Don't say anything to your husband. She won't know if you've found it or he has. Stir up some shit between them while you prepare for your future.

I think you’re talking £1k+ for a PI. That’s a lot.
Sorry you’re going through this x

100% deliberate. You don’t take your lipstick out of your handbag, apply it, and then put it into the passenger door - twice. No chance.

Like previous posters said I would buy a cheap second phone and leave it in his car. Sorry this has happened OP, must be such a shock.

How stupid is he? That's the question. Or he planted them.

There are 3 of them in the office. 2 on a Monday. I’m planning on popping in. Do you think there is anything I can do like see what they do for lunch? I suspect things aren’t too great right now between them as he had a good christmas and kept saying so. I haven’t been checking but will do now!

So it might have been there a couple of months or more even

What do you mean? V clever but v naive - I think xx

Don’t pop in. Too obvious. Do the tracker thing.

Have you seen any other signs, OP? Has he been acting differently?

I think it might have started as an emotional thing after they went away with work about 10 months ago. I think it might be fizzling out from their bhr. Just after christmas. It isn’t great. It’s his business and I think he is keeping it all from me now. I can’t track any accounts or anything. He seems to be putting some dividends in my name so I suspect he wants to stay. He mentioned an open marriage before christmas. I wondered whether to mention to the OW’s husband... I think not atm.

he mentioned an open marriage before christmas

Well that along with two lipsticks kind of suggests he already is in one

I'd put the tracker on his car, and possibly a mini recording device of some sort inside the car
But thats just me, not telling you to do anything illegal OP

Can you give me some pointers? Namechange? I’m going to have a look at his phone when I can. Xx