He has never told me he loves me

[KerrySebandDanny]

And it’s starting to become a problem. We have been together for a few years and he has never said ‘I love you ‘.

I said it to him after we’d been together for about a year and he didn’t answer.

He has said that he will probably never tell me that he loves me. He then said that he would only tell a woman he loves her if he was about to get married to her.

My problem is that he will say that he loves other things (like pop stars, his dog and various activities). I know this is different but the lack of telling me how he feels is a problem for me. I’ve told him how I feel and asked him to try to be more affectionate but he hasn’t done a single thing except buy me a chocolate bar.

I got a bit upset last night because he was saying over text how much he loves a certain pop star. I jokingly messaged him back and asked him how come he could declare his love for her but not me. He messaged back with a link to a music video where the pop star is in underwear for most of it saying ‘because she does cool stuff like this’.

It’s not a jealousy issue I don’t think, it’s more that I’d love him to tell me that he loves or even cares about me.

He has said that I’m ‘batshit’ to be upset by this and that he was talking about her singing abilities....

Sorry I just needed to vent I suppose. Am I being batshit (as he calls me)? Or do I deserve better?

I haven’t contacted him since Friday.

So think of that as the day you ended this waste of your time and energy and confidence.

You don’t need to do anything else. Except maybe block him on all devices.

Utterly pointless ‘relationship’.

Keep up the good work, it sounds like you and your therapist are on a good track. It all starts as thoughts and realisations form, as you face the reality of him, and all he lacks, not you. Be proud of yourself and keep going forward, don't look back.

Sending you lots of hugs OP... I know exactly how you feel. I’m in the same situation and reading everyone’s words has made me realise that I need to get out as well. Thank you all x

Oh OP, you deserve so much more than this

I clicked on this thread as my current partner struggles to talk about his feelings, he's only ever told me he loves me once off his own back and not just saying I love you too (which he also struggles with) but he has had some quite significant past trauma and I understand why it's difficult for him to say.

But. He. Shows. Me. Every. Single. Day.

He doesn't need to say it because it radiates out of him. I can feel it. And actions speak louder than words.

You are worthy of being loved and this man is not giving it to you. His actions prove this. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist, you need to learn to love yourself, you are worthy of that and it's more important than the love any man can give you.

I'll say it again, you deserve to be loved

I hope the last time you met is the last time you ever see him op. Onwards and up! You have so much going for you :)