Guy stopped replying when I said I had gained weight

[Phoenixxx]

I am 5'7 and in my early 20s I weighed almost 2 stone less than I do now. I was a size 4 and admittedly very light for my height, I always had comments about how thin I was.
Now i'm a size 6 and gained a lot of muscle but also some fat which I find harder to shift, i'm still slim but curvier.

I have been talking to a guy since Xmas and we were supposed to meet tomorrow night. We were talking about exercise and finess, I mentioned this in a jokey way how I had gained almost 2 stone since I was 24 (5 years ago).

Anyway he just stopped replying and hasn't replied since. You can see from my pictures I am clearly slim, he may think they are old pictures but I think I look my age on them. They are also the pictures I have on social media so he could have looked me up if he wanted.

It may be because of something else entirely but just seems coincidental. Should I text him to ask if it's still on ?

Also a size 4 when you’re 5ft 7

I can’t even begin to think how little you weighed, and you’re already saying in your OP the fat is hard to shift? What fat. You’re a size 6 and 5ft 7. And athletic. Highly unlikely there is fat.

So I would personally think “alarm bells” that someone was so focused on their weight and size

FFS forget him. That this has hurt you so much makes me think your self esteem is the real problem.

If a man thinks a woman, who is a tiny size 6, has weight problem then you have dodged a bullet. He obviously likes the waif-like, malnourished look, and will probably be the sort of man who looks askance if you order chips instead of salad, and will be appalled if you drink a pint of real ale instead of delicately sipping on a white wine spritzer.

Don't even think about dating someone who is so focused on weight, let alone be upset that he's ghosted you without even bothering to meet up.

But @cassidyStone
He’s seen her photos at size 6. And talked to her since Xmas.
How does that make him want someone who’s thinner ?
I mean it just doesn’t make logical sense?

I call bull. You're telling me you were underweight and are now a healthy weight and you have 'fat'... I am also 5ft 7, if I was a size 6 i'd be dangerously thin

As someone who did a lot of online dating, and came across loads of guys who genuinely saw no problem in using very old photos or fake ages because they felt this better represented how they saw themselves, I would have stopped chatting at the point you mentioned it too.

Simply because due to experience you were likely being deceptive and I wouldn’t want to waste my time. I have received abuse previously for changing my mind over meeting people who were a good 6 stone heavier than their photos, lied about their age by 10 years, used a photograph it turns out was 20 years old.

It’s a brutal world on line dating so any sniff of fakery or amber flags and I would be off.

Just shows you all the chat since Christmas was be. Stop talking about your weight and things like that. He's still a stranger. Chat a couple times talk with video on Skype, FaceTime, or whatapp once, then meet in person.

Why oh why aren't people using video chat before meeting?????

Chatting for weeks just gives a false familiarity with a stranger.

I am also 5ft 7, if I was a size 6 i'd be dangerously thin

I'm 5 ft 8 and a size 6 and I am a healthy weight (BMI 19). Very lean with lots of muscle.

He might not know what a size 6 is.

I was chatting to someone online and he rang me for a chat before we were due to meet up. He had seen my photos but asked, how much do you weigh as I don’t do fatties .

It might not be due to your comment about your weight. Maybe he's met someone he wants to be exclusive with. I don't think you should dwell on it unfortunately ghosting is very common these days.

Stealth post op? Come off it you're a size 6 you're not fat being a size 4 is unhealthy. I ended up down to 7 stone 2 when I broke up with ds df, it wasnt remotely attractive being skin and bone shoulder blades and hip bones sticking out were not attractive.

Just a suggestion but might it actually be that he thinks you’re shallow, talking about your weight?

I'm very happy with my curvy size 14 body! You both sound shallow

I would find it a turn off if someone started talking about gaining or losing weight to be honest - not because I give a monkeys how much someone weighs but because I find weight loss and diet talk deathly boring and couldn't think of anything worse than dating someone who talked about those sorts of things. And especially if someone is obviously very slim, I'd probably find it a bit of a red flag if they brought it up. No excuse for ghosting you, obviously, but it may not be to do with your weight, more that you mentioned it if that makes sense?

@ScarlettBlaize
How much do you weigh if you don’t mind me asking

To be honest someone being deliberately deceptive would be a massive red flag for me when it came to online dating.

If a man revealed he was actually much older or heavier etc than he had claimed I would be pretty worried about what else he was hiding. It honestly wouldn't have anything to do with me be superficial or judgmental about weight gain, it would honestly just be the fact he had lied.

@MarthasGinYard 29 is almost 30.

Martha, if she was 24 five years ago, she still is almost 30!!

Are you in the UK, OP? A US size 6 is different to a UK size 6.

But in any case, I'd say that ship has sailed.

Blimey my maths is even worse than I thought

OP stated she was in her early 30s in original post....

20s🤦🏽‍♀️

Ignore that I read wrong ....

@aroundtheworldyet I fluctuate between 8 st 9 to 9 st 2. Currently at the top end of that range and not very happy about it, I look and feel best at 8 st 11 ish.

Small boobs and hips, slim legs and arms, any excess weight goes on my belly.