I put myself on the line and now I’m a bit mortified. Hand hold anyone?

[SaucepanWater]

I met someone for a date on Saturday night. I liked him and instead of holding my nerve I got very, very drunk. I’m not sure it was necessarily noticeable to him that was THAT drunk, as I am not a falling over sort of drunk but I became extremely chatty (through nerves and alcohol) and I said all sorts of things that aren’t really me...flirting a bit with the barman and stuff like that. Being very over the top in general, talking about stuff and being louder than usual.

I hardly ever drink much and never get drunk on dates! All in all I was not myself and couldn’t wait to get out of there. Understandably when we said goodbye he said that it had been nice but ‘we’ probably both know there’s no connection here. And that was that.

I was so annoyed at myself for this as we’d had some nice chats leading up to the date and I really fancied him. I decided to text last night and say basically could we have a re run...I didn’t feel I was myself and that I was feeling shy so had too much to drink. I tried to make a joke out of it and said obviously no pressure but I liked him. He’s not read it yet (has read receipts on texts). I feel a bit sick for sending it! Usually I’m very confident on dates and would never behave like this.

Don’t know what I’m asking really, maybe a bit of a hand hold as I wait for the rejection text.

I will if he ever responds

Though at this point I’m almost going off the idea after all this! Haha.

If he responds go for coffee next time.

Leave him alone, he has told you politely he's not interested. I have had this with men I have met who I didn't fancy at all but ended up texting them back out of politeness when they contacted me again. Take the hint.

I'm going to be harsh here. You do realise that he might agree to the second date now because you've made yourself look desperate? Then you'll be even more confused. Men prey on women that are a bit weak ( drinking a lot, texting for a second chance all desperate behaviours). Let's hope he doesn't get in touch for your sake!
Have one -two alcoholic drink on dates and treat them as a quick meet and greet. 1 -1.5 hours max. Don't invest too much time and then it's neither here nor there if they get in touch after. Schedule two dates in one night if you can. Before I met dh, I dated hard like this for about 9 months, probably went on 2/3 a week and I think there was only 3 guys who didn't text to ask for a second date. Keep swiping and get yourself some healthy boundaries in place for next time

Some men are predatory and will take advantage definitely, I think this one's decent though and is just hoping if he ignores her messages she will take the hint and leave him alone.

@Diditmyway let's hope so but op might not be so lucky next time if she acts like this in general with men.

I dated hard like this for about 9 months, probably went on 2/3 a week how do people afford to keep that up?

Afford? Well I wasn't the one asking so I wasn't the one paying

Chemistry??? Some chemical reactions take time. Often the ones that happen quickly fizzle out just as fast. I met a woman once and to say there was no chemistry would be an understatement, we actively disliked each other in the beginning. We are coming up for our 25th anniversary soon and that's 25 years I would change for anything.

@toomanyleggings Very true

wouldn't obv not would.

There’s no need for the harsh posts...this isn’t something I have ever done before and I have plenty of dates. I chose to do this because I felt strongly about it. If he doesn’t follow up I won’t be texting.

@TooTrueToBeGood I think though that if you are unsure about someone, then if that person becomes too keen and persistent it will likely put you off them rather than create chemistry?

Sorry to be unkind, but as you've only met him once, the feelings you do have now will be gone in a month or so and then you will look back and realise it was best to leave it. Or you could possibly end up in a situation where you will be used by a man who isnt really bothered about you and develop real feelings and get very hurt?

I can’t believe there’s posters on here bashing this guy he’s done nothing wrong!

OP in the kindest way I think you need to leave him alone. I also think your feelings for someone you’ve had ONE date with are a bit over the top. It would 100% put me off a man who got that drunk on a first date, was being loud and flirting with the barmaid - you can’t backtrack and say “actually it wasn’t flirting I was just being friendly” just because you didn’t like some of the replies. If a woman came on here and said her date got that drunk and acted the way you acted everyone would be telling her to run away.

Fair play to you for having the guts to send that text but he clearly isn’t into you. He’s admitted there is no chemistry, he said on the actual date it wasn’t leading anywhere, he takes forever to reply and leaves you waiting.

Put it down to experience and move on. Just keep your drinks to one or two from now on whilst on dates and no wine.

There's a lot of over analysis on this thread!
If he texts you, go on the date.
If you enjoy it go on another one.
If he doesnt text then ho hum! Onto the next.
Good luck!

Well done OP for texting him! Have you heard back yet?

I suspect you won't hear from him now, but I think it was good that you did send the follow up text. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say.

It's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done