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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I put myself on the line and now I’m a bit mortified. Hand hold anyone?

144 replies

SaucepanWater · 08/01/2020 14:18

I met someone for a date on Saturday night. I liked him and instead of holding my nerve I got very, very drunk. I’m not sure it was necessarily noticeable to him that was THAT drunk, as I am not a falling over sort of drunk but I became extremely chatty (through nerves and alcohol) and I said all sorts of things that aren’t really me...flirting a bit with the barman and stuff like that. Being very over the top in general, talking about stuff and being louder than usual.

I hardly ever drink much and never get drunk on dates! All in all I was not myself and couldn’t wait to get out of there. Understandably when we said goodbye he said that it had been nice but ‘we’ probably both know there’s no connection here. And that was that.

I was so annoyed at myself for this as we’d had some nice chats leading up to the date and I really fancied him. I decided to text last night and say basically could we have a re run...I didn’t feel I was myself and that I was feeling shy so had too much to drink. I tried to make a joke out of it and said obviously no pressure but I liked him. He’s not read it yet (has read receipts on texts). I feel a bit sick for sending it! Usually I’m very confident on dates and would never behave like this.

Don’t know what I’m asking really, maybe a bit of a hand hold as I wait for the rejection text.

OP posts:
mcmooberry · 08/01/2020 20:47

Woo hoo, fingers crossed the second date goes well!

CatAndHisKit · 08/01/2020 20:47

...and he wasnt to polite as he did say there was 'no connection' on the date, he could have left itopen ended and texted later (or not). I think it's nice that he says what he thinks yet is also polite.

CatAndHisKit · 08/01/2020 20:47

*too polite

Insaneinthemembury · 08/01/2020 20:48

I dont often get chemistry on the first meeting, in fact one of my longest relationships I gave another chance and attraction grew.
I'd give it a chance. Hes a grown man, if he didnt want another date he wouldnt agree. Smile

SaucepanWater · 08/01/2020 20:52

That’s true, he’s 38 so not a baby!

I’ve suggested a day and said if not convenient let me know in the next couple of weeks when is. If he doesn’t reply then I’ve got my answer and if he does I’m sure I will be back here with second date panic!

OP posts:
SaucepanWater · 08/01/2020 20:53

I didn’t actually feel a huge chemistry with him either. I just felt this feeling of him being pretty awesome and wanting to get to know him better. That was the part I felt sure about.

OP posts:
dudsville · 08/01/2020 20:55

Well done op! Doesn't matter if this goes any further or not, you wanted to do something and did it! Woop woop!

P999 · 08/01/2020 21:00

Good for you. I think its great. You sound awesome to me. What will be will be!

SaucepanWater · 08/01/2020 21:08

Thanks that’s nice to hear!

I hate games so much but I’m also aware I can get a bit carried away when I like someone!

It’s been a long time since I felt anything vaguely enough to even consider sending a message like this one.

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 08/01/2020 21:14

but given what I had said he was up for drinks (yes I know) on Friday if I was free and he was interested to see where things could go

Are you not free on Friday? How come you have now suggested other days and are awaiting his response?

SaucepanWater · 08/01/2020 21:17

Because I can’t do Friday! I explained why, it’s something I can’t move.

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 08/01/2020 21:34

You posted about this the other day didn't you, asking if you'd be crazy to ask him for another chance? Well at least you got a different outcome on this thread.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 08/01/2020 22:03

Good on you! Don't get pissed this time Grin

SaucepanWater · 08/01/2020 22:05

Haha. Will see if it happens and he confirms a day! But no wine for me that’s for sure Grin

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 08/01/2020 22:13

Eek! That's really good news! Well done on sending it.

For the love of god though, eat before you go, don't drink wine, it gets most folks pissed, drink something else, and don't get drunk..🍻

EarringsandLipstick · 08/01/2020 23:00

Fair play OP I'm really impressed you took the chance - good luck.

Sagrada that's another thread you're thinking of, I'm nearly positive.

SaucepanWater · 08/01/2020 23:03

Well it’s not been arranged yet so we’ll see! At least I said how I felt tho and no regrets doing it

OP posts:
springydaff · 09/01/2020 01:02

I think you're brilliant op. Well done for sending that text. Bravo!

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Elindab · 09/01/2020 01:07

Awesome. Good for you, OP.

MyOtherProfile · 09/01/2020 06:18

Well done for being bold. And stick to lemonade and chatting just to him next time Grin

lifeisgoodmostofthetime · 09/01/2020 07:58

You're gutsy for texting and good on you. Second dates can be better than the first so hopefully this will be the case for you

SaucepanWater · 09/01/2020 09:29

Well...still no response since I said couldn’t do Friday, despite me suggesting two other days. I do still feel better for texting as I felt so strongly about it. But maybe now I need to accept he’s a polite person and the interest really just isn’t there on his part!

OP posts:
LunchBoxPolice · 09/01/2020 09:44

From his slow replies and comment about no chemistry, I’d say he isn’t interested. Sorry.

SaucepanWater · 09/01/2020 09:46

Yeah I think I agree! Ah well, I certainly feel better than I did before I text. Better to say how you feel if it’s something nice I guess!

OP posts:
milliefiori · 09/01/2020 10:07

OP, please don't just go for drinks! Do something with him. You said the ice-skating went well. So do something similar - go dancing or rollerblading or join a group hike via Meet Up.