Shall I ask him out?

[caulkheaded]

Went away as part of a large group over new year and got to know someone who I’d previously only met a little. Really nice guy, straightforward, I know his friends, we got on well etc.

We’re both single. Shall I text and ask if he wants to meet up? Only issue is that I’m not very confident about relationships so over thinking it all a bit!

Of course, text him and ask him out. The worst thing he can do is say no, but you were brave enough to ask and that takes a lot of confidence so just go ahead and do it. You might be surprised by his answer. Let us know.

Right. I’ve messaged him.

His good friend is dating one of my close friends so I don’t want to talk to her about it yet!

Oooh good luck. I run a fb dating group for people with a specific interest and a large group of them rented a huge house over xmas and new year. Waiting to hear if there were any matches made!! :-)

Good luck!

Agh. You couldn’t make this up.
No response yet BUT his friend has just asked if I want to meet up because he likes me. This is what happens when a group of singles go away for a week 😬

What a nice position to be in Op, you may have to choose between them fingers crossed guy you like replies 🤞

Wooh! What did you think of the friend?

It sounds like you both like each other then OP. Just go for it and see how it goes! Life’s too short!

Friend is lovely. We’ve known each other a few years and other friends have commented that he’s seemed flirty with me. Except I didn’t notice. Because I was flirting with HIS friend. Hmmmm.

Had the guy you like responded?

No, but it was on WhatsApp and it’s gone to blue ticks.

Not great if its gone to blue ticks and he hasn't responded. I would go out with the other guy.

Blue ticks means what?

That he's read it managed

Perhaps he knows his friend wanted to ask you out and is unsure what to do?

I wonder if your friend's friend knows that your friend likes you.

Can we give them names? Bert and Ernie?

It‘a likely they know. They share a house....

Intriguing. Wait while I put the kettle on please.

They share a house? So do Bert and Ernie so that works. Bert is your flirt partner, Ernie is your friend.

So do you think Ernie likes you before or he's had a revelation now he's seen Bert flirting?

Isnt that weird though? if they both know, why would the one who asked you out do so knowing you had already asked his friend??

why would the one who asked you out do so knowing you had already asked his friend??

Positional value. I want it because he's got it. Toddlers and grown ups want things more when others place value on them.

Right.

Either the guy you like already knows his mate likes you and hasn’t text back because he’s wondering what to do

OR

The both know about all texts and seeing how you respond to the second guys text.

I’ve been in a similar position and it became a bit of a game for the two lads in question. I’d bow out at this point.

So, what I think has happened is this:

Bert, Ernie and a few of the rest of us went away for a weekend. Ernie and I spent lots of time today but I didn’t notice really because I was thinking about Bert. I ask out Bert whilst he’s at work. He knows Ernie is interested so doesn’t reply. Simultaneously, Ernie asks me out, not knowing that Bert has. Or Ernie says “I asked out Caulk today” then Bert won’t say “oh she asked out me today” because he cares about his friend.

They are both very intentional and wouldn’t jump into something so I imagine Ernie has previously mentioned he was thinking about it too.

@MrsTerryPratchett in which case I would be avoiding getting into that childish situation!

Oooh a triangle! Well done for being brave OP