Shall I ask him out?

[caulkheaded]

Went away as part of a large group over new year and got to know someone who I’d previously only met a little. Really nice guy, straightforward, I know his friends, we got on well etc.

We’re both single. Shall I text and ask if he wants to meet up? Only issue is that I’m not very confident about relationships so over thinking it all a bit!

Yep. Gonna hold on for a bit...

Bloody typical, you wait for a bus, er I mean man, and two come along at the same time.

Bloody typical!

You can't possibly date Ernie while fancying Bert more! Especially not if these are two guys who are friends! And who house share! whatever would the neighbours make of it all?!

A week ago I didn’t fancy either of them. I had actually gone on a fairly rubbish date with someone unrelated and so was maybe thinking more about what I would like in a partner but hadn’t really thought about either of them as a possibility. Agh.

Blatant placemarking 😁.

Please let us know what Bert replies back with.I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Shameless placemarking!

Hold out for Bert's reply. Aside from anything else, if you accept Ernie's invitation and then he and Bert speak and realised what's happened, Ernie will know that he was the consolation prize and Bert will think you're not really interested in him.

Ooooh, exciting! Commenting so I can follow!
Good luck OP!

Ooh it’s all very intriguing!

Two questions..

1. If Bert doesn’t reply, will you say yes to Ernie?!

1. What if Bert likes you and wants to say yes, but he knows Ernie has asked you out and is waiting to see what your response is to him?

So Bert has just replied. He’s not interested in a relationship at the moment (with anyone, not just with me)

Stick with the one you asked out.
Don’t go with the other one.
Unless it’s like six months later and youve all been hanging around and youve just realised what a nice guy he may be.
Otherwise it’s just wrong and he’ll not want you when he knows he’s your second choice just now anyway.

Gutted. Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

Be EXTREMELY careful about thinking of dating Ernie as a consolation. It would have crossed my mind in my dating days and been a nightmare!

Ah well. At least I can go to sleep now!

Aw never mind OP. Bert might be interested when it all blows over with Ernie. Maybe he’s being a good friend.

I mean when Ernie has moved on

Oh no!!Never mind OP.I think Ernie might have mentioned to Bert about liking you even before you asked Bert out.Do you remember you said that your friend had mentioned how Ernie was flirting with you and you just thought it was his personality.Also if the two guys live together then I am pretty sure Ernie would have said something about liking you to Bert.

Bert knows Ernie likes you so he won't go out with you. They share a house. They are mates. I think it's that simple, I'm afraid.

Agree that's what's happened here even if they haven't talked about it men know and if he's his friend he's just not going to go there. Ernie is the one who is still an option for you then but not straightaway ! Let the dust settle from the asking his friend out debacle, get to know him more slowly and maybe then a few months further down the line the two of you could try a date if it feels right. But you can't start dating him this week, with you, Bert and possibly Ernie too knowing he's your second pick and youd rather be with the other guy! That would be really toxic!

Just to say good on you for asking him out!

Then go on a date with Ernie then and give him a chance...

I think you need to ask him outright if it's because of Ernie or not.

Go out with Ernie. If he asks why you’re dating him when you originally asked out Bert, say, “I didn’t think I had a chance with you.” Trust me. 😉

@UkuleleRose haha. Great plan!

Yep - give Ernie a chance.
You might get on great but you might know after the 1st date that you just want to remain friends.
Only one way to find out!