Being pressurised to reveal how many men I've slept with. Is this normal?

[DtPeabodysLoosePants]

Just thinking back over my marriage due to some issues and awaiting counselling. My now exH used to really pressure me to tell him how many men I'd slept with. I refused to tell him. He'd call me a tart, used goods, and make out I was a whore whilst insisting I was frigid as for for some reason I wasn't too keen on sex with him
Is it normal for partners to demand this information? He asked me many times over the years we were together. I never told him. For the record it was less than 18 people. Not many considering the 8 years in total I spent at uni.

No, not normal.

No not normal. It’s clearly just a way of then being able to use it against you.

No, not normal.

Not normal, the inadequate little prick.

I would send him a message.
"Forgot to tell you - you were number 100.
And your penis was the smallest"....
But I am a bitch!!. .

Mine is nearer 40 But I don’t keep count anymore so could be higher. 🤷🏼‍♀️I’m 30 years old and have been single between relationships. Still wanted action, on the flip side I’m a single mum, I’ve slept with 3 people in a year, two of which I’d been with before. Never be ashamed. Also you don’t have to tell anyone your numbers.

Absolutely not normal.
He sounds very controlling and disrespectful of your personal boundaries. Pressure to reveal this info would be a huge red flag to me.

No, not normal

That’s terrible. No it’s not normal.

I think asking the question is normal, through sheer curiosity. But not respecting your choice to not share this information isn't normal.

Good for you that you didn't back down. Thank goodness he's your ex

Did he do this at the beginning of your relationship?
Or just when he was pushing your boundaries and showing you he's an abusive wanker???
No it's not normal and it's totally up to you who you tell and why.

Like a PP, I'd probably text him now and tell him that you've slept with well over 50 men and he didn't even make the top 40!!!
And that you are not ashamed of it all.
Your body to do with what you like and as he's so shit in bed, he can try fucking himself to see how much he enjoys it!

No not normal. My BF couldn't care less, who or how many.

No. It's not normal. More concerning is calling you degrading sexual names. It sounds like he was watching a lot of porn and hates women.

DH and I have never asked, nor told each other in about 15 years. What would we get out of knowing?

Been with my DH 6 years. No idea how many people he's slept with and visa versa. The past is the past.

I have no idea how many I've slept with as I have never counted. If he were asking me I couldn't answer his question anyway!

Asking isn’t the issue

Calling you a whore
Disrespecting you
And having such misogynistic views is the issue

I think it's a fairly normal question and I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't answer it. I'd answer it. People are putting answers here on the internet and OP you have even put your answer here. Why didn't you tell your H at the time as he clearly wanted to know? Not that he sounds very nice or anything, but you married him so I assume at some point he was?

It's not normal but I had an ex who would ask the same and call me a whore etc, he was abusive but I didn't realise it at the time. I've been with DP for 6 years and weve never asked each other

No not a normal question.. and I would NEVER answer it either..

You refusing to tell him probably made your past sound much more intriguing and interesting than it actually is. If you'd told him, I think the matter would have been dropped straight away (unless there's a massive drip feed still to come, of course).

But it's your decision whether you told him or not so the name calling is completely wrong. I just don't really know what the big secret is for and why it just isn't one of those conversations you have once, talk about it and then it's done.

I've told DH my number and he's told me his, but we volunteered the info to each other. No way would I tell someone who was pressurizing me, and certainly not if they spoke to me like that.

Not normal - and irrelevant - my DH knows I slept with men before him and vice versa - what difference does it make?

You refusing to tell him probably made your past sound much more intriguing and interesting than it actually is. If you'd told him, I think the matter would have been dropped straight away

What a load of BOLLOCKS.. look at his behaviour not knowing the number.. imagine his jealously knowing the number.. even if it was ONE ?!

Not normal but my DP has asked and I declined to answer. He was a bit upset that I didn't want to divulge the actual number so I settled on telling him it was more than a certain number but less than another number. I still think he wants to know but I don't see it as any if his business.