Negging ?

[Aja838]

Been on 3 dates with a guy. He's been quite gentlemanly so far, and we had our first kiss on the 3rd date.
However I got some drunken text in the middle of the night saying "I just wanna be so nasty with you right now, but you're far too nice."

Very taken aback, what do others think ? Feels like negging to me, does it sound like he just wants one thing ?

Google is you friend.

I don't think he meant it as an insult as such. Like the others said, 'just' flirty/'sexy' talk.

You could give him another chance if you like, it case it was an out of character drunk and horny thing. Mock him for it.

Or if you've found it a real turn off, get rid of him.

Well, unless you're feeling poorly then it definitely isn't...

No idea what negging is as I’m nearly 49

I'm 65 and I knew what it was!

That wasn't negging though, that was putting out a feeler for sexting.

45... no idea what negging is

Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator's approval. The term was coined and prescribed by pickup artists

I just see this as being spending the night with him then he 'suddenly' loses interest. Just got a bad feeling.

Had to get my glasses on as I read it as nagging lol

...off to google

Thanks @bigchris

Im 49 and I know what negging is.

It is not an age thing. It's a having been out there dating thing.

Ah I see. No I don’t think this is negging but I do think it’s a turn off. ‘ Nasty’ must mean something different these days cos it doesn’t sound sexy to me at all. Sounds aggressive. Follow your instinct OP.

Thank you big Chris.

Reply with something criminally filthy , disgusting and outrageous. Enough to make his eyes bleed with shock and disgust. Then block and delete.

@P999 😂😂😂 any suggestions ?

I've got a couple of ideas. Others first

OP depends on if you want to see him again. If you don't say you're delighted he's said that because you too wanted to get really nasty but thought he was too nice. Then he'll reply with his tongue hanging out with "Yea? Like what?" And that's when you proceed to tell him that since meeting him you haven't stopped thinking about nailing him with your seven inch strap on.

Not negging. He is a dirty dog and hoping for sext/internet sex. Tell him, no definitely and then see if he comes back as such a nice guy. I would be inclined to bin him off just for asking, but up to you what is acceptable.

He’s probably sitting alone on his bed with his trousers at his ankles and toilet roll on at the ready thinking about you and hoping you will text him something to make his evening, er, more interesting.

I think I’ve just grossed myself out....

Well op I see a mixed bag as an outcome

If you ignore it, and he asks you what you thought or did you get the text
What's your answer?

If you do go on another date, is he going to assume you are up for it? And didn't mind the text

Personally Ide walk away, cause those two scenarios are bad dates either way

Is he drunk?

I'd take it as a bad sign. A guy who thinks women divide into nice and nasty according to whether they like sex or not has something wrong with him.

I would find the term "nasty" immediately off-putting, personally.

Can't people just have good, non-degrading, mutually-pleasurable and respectful sex anymore?

Christ guys. GOOGLE

Also a bit of filthy sex talk is fun. Don’t be do moral and boring

No women aren’t necessarily divided into nice and nasty but they can switch from being nice into nasty ( dirty talk etc) during sex. There’s nothing wrong with dirty talk but I would have thought he was slightly premature to be venturing into that territory if you’ve only just kissed. If you’re not into it then fair enough

@rededucator That just made me laugh out loud!