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Relationships

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Original poster

Negging ?

80 replies

Aja838 · 26/12/2019 20:38

Been on 3 dates with a guy. He's been quite gentlemanly so far, and we had our first kiss on the 3rd date.
However I got some drunken text in the middle of the night saying "I just wanna be so nasty with you right now, but you're far too nice."

Very taken aback, what do others think ? Feels like negging to me, does it sound like he just wants one thing ?

OP posts:

CodenameVillanelle · 26/12/2019 20:38

It's not negging it's sex talk

HatRack · 26/12/2019 20:39

Doesn't look like negging to me

Original poster

Aja838 · 26/12/2019 20:40

It's just the 'you're far too nice', not sure what he means by that. Tbh kinda puts me off, this sudden random sex talk.

OP posts:

whonoes · 26/12/2019 20:41

Not negging but very weird and a bit gross.

CodenameVillanelle · 26/12/2019 20:42

He's inviting you to tell him you aren't too nice to be nasty and to get into sexting with him
Don't do it if you don't fancy it

gamerchick · 26/12/2019 20:42

Yeah he wants to sext.

Not my bag with a new dude but it's up to you.

PremierNaps · 26/12/2019 20:43

What the devil is negging? Its sex talk. He says you're far too nice so you slip into the oh no I'm not category

Original poster

Aja838 · 26/12/2019 20:43

Yeah it's not my style. Just feels like the first 3 dates were his best efforts to impress me, now the real him has come out.

OP posts:

PlanDeRaccordement · 26/12/2019 20:43

What is negging? This is an english word I do not know.
My guess was something to do with a nest egg, but seems I am lost....

JesusMaryAndJosepheen · 26/12/2019 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Aja838 · 26/12/2019 20:44

And I ain't gonna play up to his cheesy "no I can be nasty too" rubbish

OP posts:

bigchris · 26/12/2019 20:46

Could he have been on the Xmas booze

I'd just say 'lol' and see if he's still nice in person don't bin him off yet, he's just saying he fancies you

TooTrueToBeGood · 26/12/2019 20:46

My inner amateur psychologist thinks it's gross. Why "nasty"? Nothing wrong with thinking of you sexually but why infer that sex should be degrading, dirty, negative or whatever the fuck else "nasty" infers? The "you're far too nice" sounds like a patronising and manipulative attempt to coerce you into being the opposite of nice just to prove him wrong.

Ohyesiam · 26/12/2019 20:48

He means he c wants v to have completely filthy sex with you, but thinks you are too ladylike/ not into him enough.
It’s the sort of text that would be great from someone you had the raging hots for, and really off putting if you were a bit ambivalent.

It’s not to do with negging, which is putting you down so that you feel a bit inadequate. Then subsequently when they make a move on you , you are flattered and glad they “like you again”, so you are more likely to have sex with them,

Original poster

Aja838 · 26/12/2019 20:49

Yeah that makes sense. I'm just finding it a bit cringy tbh !

OP posts:

Ohyesiam · 26/12/2019 20:50

Sorry just saw your updates. I agree that he’s been on his great behaviour.
I’d be put off.

Ohyesiam · 26/12/2019 20:51

Best behaviour

Dozer · 26/12/2019 20:53

Cringe.

TheBlueStocking · 26/12/2019 20:55

It's not negging, no. I think he's trying to invite you to send him some naked pictures of yourself.

Original poster

Aja838 · 26/12/2019 20:56

Do you think this would come from someone who only wanted one thing, rather than relationship material ?

OP posts:

lilgreen · 26/12/2019 20:57