Sorry if this is long or no paragraphs etc. I'm just looking for an outside prospective.
I have been with DH eight years. We have a two year old DD and we got married in August. We live in private rented housing which isn't perfect but it certainly is home to me. DH is above average intelligence and definitely something I love him for. He's also very ambitious.
I'll start this off with saying I'm really anxious when it comes and hate there being an atmosphere.
When things are good they're really good. I love my husband and our little family. But I cannot cope with the arguing and anger issues from him anymore. Since we got back from honeymoon every weekend has been an argument over something. Often feel it's really trivial. If I show an opinion different to his I am 'demeaning, belittling and insulting' him. He believes I don't listen to him. I think he means I don't do exactly as he says or i don't agree with his opinion. An example of arguements we've had are that I didn't thank him enough for vacuuming (his own house FFS) then the week after he knew my thank you wasnt sincere enough and was just saying it for sale of saying it. When we argue his anger is palpable. He can't sit still. He literally pouts. I can never admit I'm in the wrong or he runs with it, so if I say yes I was wrong to do that I will be selfish for doing it and not let it go.
I can honestly say if he'd have been like this so consistently on the run up to the wedding I wouldn't have gone through with it.
The latest thing is he wants to buy a house so everything about our current rented accommodation isn't good enough and it's making him unhappy. We talked about this before we got married (when we got engaged we were living in London with zero chance of buying so we're focussed on the wedding, we then moved back up north and we chatted and he said he wanted to get married before buying), his parents have graciously offered us a very generous deposit but we both agreed need at least 10k saved so can pay fees etc and decorate and buy new furniture. We don't have 10k yet but he's obsessed with buying. He'd found one he liked went to view. I went to view it yesterday and was underwhelmed with it. Voiced my opinions and I was just barraged with insults. It's like I'm not allowed an opinion if it isn't the same as his. I was honest with him and said I don't want to commit to buying with him right now, I need to not be legally financially tied to him so I can leave with our little girl this is how unhappy I am at the minute. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of having to apologise for stuff to call an end to the argument when I don't really mean it. He obviously didn't take it well which is fine. We were still arguing and I'll admit I was shouting but he came right into my face clapped as loud as he could 3-4 times right at the end of my nose and then screamed in my face 'silence'...I was holding our two year old at that point. I walked away with her and she kept saying 'daddy made me sad'. Afte rboth had calmed down a bit he obnoxiously said to me it's my behaviour that lead to his and his actions had done the job and shocked me into shutting up. I totally realise this all sounds like abuse when written down. I am not perfect far from it but since all this arguing I'm finding I'm on eggshells all the time. I'm taking on more at home (both work full time) and I'm not asking him to do anything (he wouldn't do anything without being asked but when asked will normally but expect praise).
How long do you stay unhappy for? It's only been a 4 month marriage. It's embarrassing. It's like a catch 22. He says he is unhappy as he doesn't own a house im not willing to buy a house when he's like this!!! Said he's welcome to buy a house on his own in his name (after all it's his parents that's enabling it)