Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would this put you off a guy ?

83 replies

Adorex · 05/12/2019 06:03

Someone I've been talking to. He sounds nice but comes across as a travel snob. He's one of those who 'found himself' travelling across Asia or whatever, which is fine.
But I don't think he understands that not everyone is able to do that. He's said, "you have people like me who want to see the world then those people who just go to Benidorm twice a year."
Just seems to see himself as superior because he's been 'off the beaten track' so to speak. Would this put you off someone or should I give it a chance ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 06:04

He's also shown casual racism by saying that who knows what is actually in Asian food, it could be dog for example.

OP posts:
FredaFrogspawn · 05/12/2019 06:06

He’d bore me. I do like a smidgeon of humility in a chap.

Bluntness100 · 05/12/2019 06:14

I'd be more worried about the racism, but I'd be worried about his lack of empathy for others and the fact he's up his own arse. So yeah it would put me off.

TotalRecall · 05/12/2019 06:17

He sounds like a wanker tbh

Margotshypotheticaldog · 05/12/2019 06:21

Yes that would put me off. Listen to your instincts on this one.

Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 06:21

Sadly I agree. I've lived abroad for my job for a period of time but honestly have no desire to be a backpacker, live in hostels and not see my family for a year, none. We all travel differently and that's fine. Not everyone has the funds to go on long-haul exotic holidays, I certainly don't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 06:22

Also even if some people turn up their nose at Benidorm, it's clearly a popular destination !

OP posts:
DustOffYourHighestHopes · 05/12/2019 06:23

Sounds like an absolute douche. Not because he has those thoughts it because he’s arsey enough to display them to new potential mates.

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 05/12/2019 06:24

Is he being this judgey and braggy everytime you speak or was it just during one chat?
If the former yeah he's a dick.
If the latter he was probably just doing that "humble brag" thing that I see mentioned here frequently.

The casual racism and the lack of understanding that not everyone is as lucky as him would irritate and put me off him.

scaredycatz · 05/12/2019 06:27

He sounds boring and stuck up. Loads of people do what he did so it's not any more special than going to Benidorm or anywhere else really is it Confused

Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 06:38

It was just on this occasion but I'm sure it could translate into other situations.
Exactly, it's nothing new or original to go to Australia or SE Asia, doesn't make you superior or more cultured in any way.
That's whats kind of annoying about OLD now, the whole "I've been to xyz countries" badge of honour.

OP posts:
ChachyFace · 05/12/2019 06:44

It's not even that other people aren't as "lucky" as him to go travelling....some people have no desire to travel to off the beaten track places or Benidorm, and that is OK!
Having the urge to travel doesn't make you better or more interesting than someone else- especially if you are a bore and a show off about it.
He probably(mistakenly) thinks he is impressing you with his tales. We all like to try and impress in the early days.... but he has missed the mark.

namechange4052 · 05/12/2019 06:47

He really thinks he's done something special doesn't he! Half the men on online dating sites have photos of them on their journey 'finding themselves' in SE Asia! He's just an overgrown gap year student Wink

Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 06:48

Yes absolutely ! I'd rather stay in a hotel, get decent sleep and do my own thing, i've never been to anywhere long-haul, but I agree that not having the desire to do doesn't make you any less of a person !

OP posts:
Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 06:49

@namechange4052 😂 definitely true for OLD. Either there or Australia !

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/12/2019 07:00

I had a colleague who quit her job to go travelling and started banging on about how everyone should do it before she left, to those of us with mortgages and children.

She was late 20s, living at home, and using the £30k her mom had saved for her growing up.

She's now changed her Instagram and Facebook to a 'travel blog'. I wouldn't mind if she'd gone trekking through the rainforests or the Australian outback, but she did 'typical' countries with the tourist tours.

It's great that she's done something that made her happy but it was six months of her life.

IME people who have 'travelled' feel the need to lecture you about it forEVER.
I couldn't be with someone like that.

Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 07:05

@GiveHerHellFromUs that must have been irritating her banging on about it ! As if you all can or have the desire to just drop everything and go.
I know someone like that too. She calls herself 'nomadic' her instagram is 'travelgram', and full of wise words for us all such as, "please, do not ride elephants", "please, do not throw your rubbish in the ocean".
Well thanks for telling us, we would never have known otherwise 🙄
I also get this air of superiority from travellers.

OP posts:
Whattodoabout · 05/12/2019 10:33

He sounds like an absolute prick. I went on a date with a guy like this once, notice the date was singular. I just rolled my eyes at him tbh, he was such a pretentious jumped up prick.

user1479305498 · 05/12/2019 10:44

I interviewed a few often fairly pretentious people who seemed to think ‘going travelling’ was actually some kind of career in their20’s and a pertinent part of their CV. Nope, just made me think they had itchy feet. I’m all for travel, but personally I’m more pro long haul at the point it involves decent hotels and car hire etc andcomes as part of having a career , not a career in itself. I’ve had extremely enjoyable holidays to USA and other long haul as well as Greece, Spain etc, been to Benidorm many times as my grandparents lived there and enjoyed that too . I suspect you might find this guy a bit ‘up his own arse’ and probably not much fun

mamato3lads · 05/12/2019 13:53

Dickhead

MissDew · 05/12/2019 14:05

you have people like me who want to see the world then those people who just go to Benidorm twice a year."

Snobbery of the highest order and a travel bore to boot. I wouldn't entertain a second date with him, personally.

That's probably the tip of the iceberg. If you listen his snobbery will probably extend to cars, jobs, districts etc and ultimately you.

I once worked with someone who left to go travelling and at her leaving presentation she quipped, 'I'll send you post cards and make you all really really jealous.' Some one in the room replied, 'I'll send you my pay slips and make you really jealous.' Ouch !

(I've travelled and my fervent and so far answered prayer is God save me from being a travel bore. Not a humble brag/stealth boast. No really not.)

It makes me smile that people who brag about their travels don't have much else to talk about. Normal life seems dull in comparison. If they are still going on about it years later, they obviously haven't done anything else that interests or impresses them since.

MissDew · 05/12/2019 14:08

please, do not throw your rubbish in the ocean".
Well thanks for telling us, we would never have known otherwise

Yep. Let's just say there are people who like to travel who are in their twenties/thirties and it shows i.e. grow up.

Original poster
Adorex · 05/12/2019 14:08

He's just asked me out for a drink.. Hmm

OP posts:
dontalltalkatonce · 05/12/2019 14:10

Boring snob. Nope. Just tell him thanks for the offer but I don't think this is clicking for me and move on.

MissDew · 05/12/2019 14:12

You could see him again with a view to giving him a second chance. You could ask him out right, 'you seem to look down your nose at people who have not travelled as extensively as you. Is that right ?'

He might end up sneering at the holidays you've had or your family have had. He might talk to you about where you've always wanted to travel to. Just tell him Bridlington, just to see the look on his face. (No offence to Bridlington, either.)

Swipe left for the next trending thread