A bit disappointed and worried

[GinTonic32]

I had started dating someone since April.

We had intense chemistry, including sexual which he admitted as well.

The problem was/is, that since April I have seen him just a handful of times (7 times).

We have discussed this matter and he has said to me he is a busy guy.

It has happened that he has cancelled even last min.

This guy is a single dad with 50% custody and i understand the busy schedule. I myself dont have kids. I just didnt expect and to be honest didnt believe this is a solid reason for not meeting often.

He also just once has invited me to his house but i couldnt go. He has told me that temporarily lives with his parents, as he bought a new house and he is doing work in it. This has been going on for months and he is not moving in. The whole situ seemed and still seems dodgy.

I met him online and I tried to make it clear from the beginning that i am not involved with attached guys. That was in April. He told me he is over his situation and that they don't talk apart from matters concerning the kid.

Last time we met was end Oct, where we had a talk about him being busy and he explained to me the exact reasons why he does not have time for a gf. We did have sex. Also he did act jealous as we had three weeks to talk up until to that point and was asking me if i did anything with others. I said no and even he commented to my phone notifications "Oh someone wants your company" I said jokingly "ye im popular" and he said "ye I bet you are".

When he left my house we kissed and to meet for drinks soon.

He didnt reach out to me since then....

I am wondering if he was just looking for a distraction or he is really over with his ex. I did some digging on her instagram and she seemed to had posted that she is single and that she is doing her.

2 days after we met, I saw that he was with his kid but she was also in the same place with also her kids from another relationship, but not interacting all together. Just hin . with his kid.

I really dunno whats going on, I always had at the back of my mind that something might be going on... I even went to psychics....

err of course i understand,.... what i dont understand is, the mean comments on here

It doesn't matter what he says, it's his actions that matter. His actions show as clear as day that he is not that interested.

Words are easy and mean nothing.

I don’t think people are being deliberately mean to you. They are frustrated because you are making excuses for the man and not seeing how he is playing you. You are spending money to try to work out his thinking when his actions are telling you what he is thinking. So your money is being wasted. I would go no contact and see what happens.

But I am going no contact

But I am going no contact

Until he contacts you, you mean?

well for now it doesnt make sense to contact him

@GinTonic32

People aren't being mean they're being honest.

You posted because this is something you find unsettling. People are agreeing with you that it's unsettling, not being mean.

You posted that you've looked at his exes Instagram to check if they've been in the same place at the same time. People are saying this is not normal or healthy behaviour, not being mean.

This relationship (which consists of seven meetings) is making you unhappy, insecure and obsessive. People are saying you therefore should remove yourself from the situation, not being mean.

You have said he "won't let" you break contact. People are telling you to take control of your life and not allow him to dictate the terms, not being mean.

Mumsnet is acting like an honest (and yes fairly blunt) friend to you. If people fed into the drama and encouraged game playing, that would be mean.

And actually, being petulant and defensive is mean when people have taken the time to share advice and tell you that you're worth more than this and should hold yourself in a higher regard. They're supporting you.

But if you can't see that then there isn't really much point people spending any more time trying to encourage you to want more for yourself and be in a healthier happier place.