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Original poster

A bit disappointed and worried

107 replies

GinTonic32 · 02/12/2019 11:59

I had started dating someone since April.

We had intense chemistry, including sexual which he admitted as well.

The problem was/is, that since April I have seen him just a handful of times (7 times).

We have discussed this matter and he has said to me he is a busy guy.

It has happened that he has cancelled even last min.

This guy is a single dad with 50% custody and i understand the busy schedule. I myself dont have kids. I just didnt expect and to be honest didnt believe this is a solid reason for not meeting often.

He also just once has invited me to his house but i couldnt go. He has told me that temporarily lives with his parents, as he bought a new house and he is doing work in it. This has been going on for months and he is not moving in. The whole situ seemed and still seems dodgy.

I met him online and I tried to make it clear from the beginning that i am not involved with attached guys. That was in April. He told me he is over his situation and that they don't talk apart from matters concerning the kid.

Last time we met was end Oct, where we had a talk about him being busy and he explained to me the exact reasons why he does not have time for a gf. We did have sex. Also he did act jealous as we had three weeks to talk up until to that point and was asking me if i did anything with others. I said no and even he commented to my phone notifications "Oh someone wants your company" I said jokingly "ye im popular" and he said "ye I bet you are".

When he left my house we kissed and to meet for drinks soon.

He didnt reach out to me since then....

I am wondering if he was just looking for a distraction or he is really over with his ex. I did some digging on her instagram and she seemed to had posted that she is single and that she is doing her.

2 days after we met, I saw that he was with his kid but she was also in the same place with also her kids from another relationship, but not interacting all together. Just hin . with his kid.

I really dunno whats going on, I always had at the back of my mind that something might be going on... I even went to psychics....

OP posts:
Original poster
GinTonic32 · 02/12/2019 15:03

@MrsMaiselsMuff you must be joking

OP posts:
stucknoue · 02/12/2019 15:03

Are you serious, if he wants to be with you he will be making an effort, I'm managing once a week despite being 150 miles apart.

loserssaywhat · 02/12/2019 15:27

Wait? How do you know he turns up at the same place, at the same time as his ex and child? Where are you finding this information?

Willow2017 · 02/12/2019 15:28

He goes to the same places at the same time as the person who he shares a child with
That one i saw it only once. But not sure if it was for the child or not....
Anyway it does look dodgy

He shares a child with a woman who.has another child no doubt the kids all go to.the same places they like? What's dodgy about that?

What's dodgy is him telling you he hasn't got time for a full time relationship and you going to psychics to find our why!
What's dodgy is you stalking his and his ex's social media to.see what they are up to.
What's dodgy is you have seen him 7 times in 8 months yet you think you are in a relationship and have the right to know what he is up.to.all the time.
It's not a relationship.
You see each other once in a while for sex.
He isn't looking for a relationship if you are then look elsewhere. He can't be any clearer.
And yes the fact he is curious about you seeing other people is a bit of a cheek so tell him that if he ever gets in contact again. But tbh if you ever said the stuff you said on here to him he won't be back.in touch he will think you are crackers.

You have no right to keep stalking him he isn't going to.suddenly change. He has kids and is doing up a house. His kids obviously come first then the house. If he has said he doesn't have time (it really doesn't matter why) then believe him and find someone who.has got time for you. Why are you hanging on waiting 8 months for crumbs from this guy?
Forget him and concentrate on living your own life not second guessing his.

Original poster
GinTonic32 · 02/12/2019 15:31

Sorry im not crazy. I looked at his ex social media to find out if he is really single as he claimed

OP posts:
merryhouse · 02/12/2019 15:52

@GinTonic32 why do you CARE??????

You really fancied him, yeah yeah, I get that.

But come on. A single dad who can't see you more than once a month? Who goes on at you for the possibility that you might be vaguely thinking about someone else?

Find someone better.

Original poster
GinTonic32 · 02/12/2019 15:53

well... you are absolutely right, the situation does not really play out as i wanted

OP posts:
Princessfaffalot · 02/12/2019 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
GinTonic32 · 02/12/2019 17:05

well.... tbh i dunno what his deal is.

i will give up and tbh i just need a break from dating possibly

OP posts:
Loveablers · 02/12/2019 17:07

He sees you as a shag

Original poster
GinTonic32 · 02/12/2019 17:10

but he said that he doesnt ....

anyway i dont think it matters

OP posts:
BercowsFestiveFlamingo · 02/12/2019 17:28

Well of course he says he doesn't!

I agree with having a break from dating. Instead of spending money on psychics it might be more worthwhile investing in a counsellor to figure out why your bar is so low that you've put up with this shit since April Thanks

fishonabicycle · 02/12/2019 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AlexaAmbidextra · 02/12/2019 18:01

I think this poster has been here numerous times with various scenarios of men that she wants a relationship with who clearly don’t want one with her. It’s a complete waste of time trying to talk sense into her because all you get is ‘yeah but, yeah but’.

JorisBonson · 02/12/2019 18:47

BUT A PSYCHIC SAID IT

AnyFucker · 02/12/2019 20:14

The psychics are a new twist on the same tired old story, it has to be said

Closetbeanmuncher · 02/12/2019 23:49

I'm struggling to to believe that anyone could genuinely be this gullible.

People say whatever they think you want to hear to get the desired result op, which in this case is a monthly shag.

Jealousy doesn't mean he has feelings for you, it means he's a control freak...

If this is real it's pretty worrying.

overandouttime · 02/12/2019 23:52

Oh gawd you sound exactly like someone I used to know. She was absolutely obsessed with a guy for about 7 years and maybe to this day. I don't know coz I got footed it haha. She was barking too!

JKScot4 · 03/12/2019 00:03

@loserssaywhat
That’s priceless 🤣🤣🤣
But, but, yeah but.... sit down Vicky 🙄

Chocmallows · 03/12/2019 00:10

I hope for your sake that this isn't your normal state you're just going through a confused patch and another month on look back and laugh at this weird situtuation. It is time to end it and move on!

outherealone · 03/12/2019 00:23

Oh poor op, people are being really mean.
It sounds like he’s really got you resisted up and anxious and it’s made you vulnerable to panicky and compulsive behaviour. You will look back at this time one day and say ‘what the fuck was I thinking?’
He’s playing you and you really need to work on yourself so you don’t get treated like this again by anyone else.
Maybe if you could access counselling (probably cheaper) you might come to terms with the fact that this relationship is pointless and be in a position to find someone more worthy of you.
I know it’s hard but it’s torturing yourself wondering and facebook stalking and paying psychics. The psychics and this guy are both preying on you for their own rewards.
Sending kind vibes and hoping you catch them and be a bit nicer to yourself.

ActualFemale · 03/12/2019 01:50

You are too trusting OP.

He is just like those physics you're paying in that he's telling you what you want to hear to get what they want from you, the "psychics" want your money and and he wants your body.

Watch the Darren Brown show he did on mediums/psychics he showed them all for the frauds they are. You're wasting your money with them and you're wasting time with him.

It's not a healthy mindset to pay psychics, after just seven meetings, to find out the reasons what a man who you've met seven times thinks/is doing and why.

I mean this kindly, use that money you are wasting on psychics and get yourself some therapy or self help to make you see you are worth more way more than this.

Do you use psychics for other areas of your life too? I hope not because they're all a con.

managedmis · 03/12/2019 02:10

Nowt gets past you, does it OP?

or maybe it does

managedmis · 03/12/2019 02:12

we have been outside on dates.

^^

Grin
1forAll74 · 03/12/2019 02:32

It is very plain,and obvious to all, that this man is not that bothered about you. Psychic's will only tell you,what most of the posters on here have told you. Maybe you don't understand the male species like most women on here do !