Hi all I've known my gf for around 17 years we get on really well and just clicked, up until 2 years ago I've always thought she was cute but as she was married I respected her husband obviously! They have now been separated, the first time they seperated we found each other and just bonded, she's got 4 kids whome I've known all there lives we got on great until a year or so ago she decided to try again with her husband which I've always encouraged, that didn't work as she was always coming to me for emotional support and fast forward to 3 weeks ago we were just perfect it was like heaven, she used to take the odd risk in letting the kids see us laid in bed, nothing dodgy just laid and the odd cuddle, but with Xmas coming up she's started considering her ex's feelings more and not letting her kids see or think so much, which I do understand. Now obviously I noticed thus slight change, one particular week I'd been working away from home and missed my gf and the kids terribly, she messaged me on Friday and said as you've not slept great etc we can get the kids to sleep on Friday night and go to bed snuggle and sleep, I was really looking forward to it, the perfect ending and start to the weekend, laid with the one I love. I cooked us both a steak that night then as we sat and watched stranger things, after it finished she said im only staying over if I stay on the sofa, this did gut me I was really looking forward to sleeping with her, not sex just sleeping. I couldn't sleep as I wasn't mentally prepared for a sofa after been away all week, but did eventually.
When I woke up I fealt a bit deflated and a bit sad, she thought I was just tired and tried to perk me up, I was talking to everyone been civil just sad. So on the way with the kids to do some shopping late morning, I was starting to come round and really wanted too, she asked what was wrong so I said im upset because protecting your ex's feelings has upset me, she just said oh this, and got mardier and mardier all day, I desperately wanted to be ok but she was slipping away, all I wanted was my feelings considering, as I said I wasn't ignoring anyone I wasn't shouting etc, we got back home and she just sat in the front room with the kids, I knew something was wrong so messaged her what i should do, she just said I need some space, I was gutted she couldn't find a few minutes to just talk to me and I left, know shouting, but did a little wheel spin as I fealt let down emotionally.
That was Saturday the following day she went to football with her young son and to some fireworks with her the ex and all the kids. I then went working away for the week again, desperate to talk to her, but was just getting really distant cold messages, not the usual loving ones, 3 weeks prior she said she loved me. I was gutted we wernt even speaking we used to speak on the phone every day for a good hour at least, up until Wednesday last week she was still cross with how i reacted to been disappointed nut she said she does get why I was disappointed but doesn't get my reaction, which wasn't even that bad ! She has to accept that she's protecting the ex at my expense and my feelings, I said all we should of done is cuddled instead before you went to bed on the sofa for ten mins just to make us both feel happy again, she didnt put much effort into trying to console me. She called it pathetic, and immature. She pretty much silent treated me with no attempt to fix anything, it was killing me so I made the mistake of talking to her adult daughter, about it which annoyed her mum, so she went mardy at me for that which I understand, but although she unstistd she never knew about us, I know she did. So it's now ten days nearly, she rejected a call last night, I sent her a heart fealt message saying how much I miss her, and how I want to hear her voice, she's still cold and still banging on about how she gets my disappointment at not been able to sleep, but not my reaction, but my reaction wasn't that bad, I never shouted etc, I didn't ignore her like she is me, why can't she accept my feelings were hurt and that was my reaction, to go quiet in the morning and try and perk up during the day but failed cos she was just getting more cross. It feels like she's going to finish me but my sister and my best mate can't understand how i can get finished because of something she's adding to the relationship that I've gotta deal with and why she can't push past, see that she's as much to blame as me and work things out, no phone call really hurts, the last time she went like this pushing me away she got back with the ex, but she has alwys been honest about that so think she would of told me, I wonder if she's met someone else as she feels the same, like she doesn't want me anymore. I know talking to her daughter wasn't great but she must appreciate that emotional silence really hurts, why isn't she trying to fix this, can I get dumped just because i got my feelings hurt, oh I also read narcissists sometimes struggle accepting responsibility for things and have often joked about it with her, and subsequently posted a narc meme on th that she has loved after I told her it's more a prediction cos of how she is, thought it might help her see, Any help comments appreciated