Does your DH look after you when you are unwell?

[dinosaurrisotto]

I have a hideous cold/flu virus at the moment. Nothing serious but my temperature is raging, i'm aching, generally feeling crap. It's made me realise that my husband NEVER asks how i'm feeling when i'm ill, doesn't offer to get things for me etc. In fact he swings between indifference and annoyance. Is this normal? We have DC and he did make them breakfast this morning (nearly always my job) and took one to a party. But this is caring for DC and not me. I often get migraines so perhaps he's just fed up with it, but there is little affection in our marriage and it's times like these that remind me of that fact.

Mine leaves me to it unless it warrants needing help and them he's there like a shot.
I had sciatica for 2 months and for about a week I couldn't make it to the front gate.
He completely took over, but if it's flu, sickness etc he'll pick up the slack.

OP, so sorry that you feel rotten.

Unfortunately I think it is a good indication of where your relationship is at.

My dh is extremely kind and caring.

In fact it is always a reminder to me what a good kind man he is.

It's not easy when your partner is ill and you are picking up all the slack, especially with young children.

We do it for each other.

Wishing you well.💐

I have to still get up and cook 🤷🏻‍♀️ Apparently they are all incapable .. Lord knows when he has just a headache it’s like hell! Everyone must be quiet, room service etc ..

I always tell him you don’t realise how good you have it

My husband also never gets ill (lucky bastard) so i don't think he actually understands what it feels like, especially migraines.

DH can be amazing, as long as he's sure I'm "genuinely ill." My ruptured appendix has become legend in our family now as he ignored me as I vomited and writhed in agony all night, got annoyed I was too weak to close the door myself on his van when he took me to the doctor, left me there alone 30 mins early the following morning with a sick bucket as he was waiting for a Morrison's delivery.

Needless to say once I was sitting in A&E on a morphine drip he stayed by my side for as long as he could. And when I got home he would make me all my meals and bring me my medication. He realizes how much of a twat he'd been.

I think having a child was a game changer for us...we each get grumpy now because we very much work as a team normally and when one of us is taken out of the equation the other has to man the fort and do everything by themselves. It's something we've both tried to reflect on and change since.

Yes, mine did. We looked after each other as well as we could when necessary.

I'm so sorry to hear of all these horrible, self-centred men who don't treat their partners as their equal.

I am recovering from a bout of flu as well as gynae issues at the same time and my dh couldn't be more or a gentleman.

He makes the kids lunches, our dinner, does the washing etc and still makes time to bring me chocolate with a cup of tea.

I can be hard to listen to when I'm feeling under the weather, but dh has the patience of a saint and is just such a kind and genuine man.

I hope our son, 15, learns from his dad how to treat women when they're under the weather as he's been making me drinks when he comes home from school too.

My DH does. I text him when j was in Tesco's and said I felt sad. He called me back to talk about it and then I came home to lit candles a bottle of wine out, Xmas music and a Xmas jigsaw ready. I'm very lucky to have him.

He was an absolute arsehole once in the early days of living together when I had a fractured ankle, I nearly left him over it - genuinely the worst time in our whole relationship and I still look back and wonder wtf was that all about? Acted like he was angry with me about it or something.

I did make it abundantly clear that he was being a twat, it was unacceptable and I was prepared to walk (in fact did for a while). Luckily he does seem to have learned his lesson and has never repeated that type of behaviour/ attitude. Now when I’m ill he’s very caring, sends me to bed, brings drinks/paracetamol/food periodically and always asks how I am. If it’s a cold/virus of some sort he does, once the worst is over for me, start muttering darkly about how he’s ‘bound to get it now’ and does invariably manage to ‘get it’ and get himself a bit of return pampering though. It’s usually worse when he gets it too, funny that.

Do hope you are feeling better soon .
It’s a mystery that so many men are unnerved completely when the woman in their life occasionally becomes ill . Do hope the penny drops and he starts with a bit of nurture very soon x

I feel fluey and shit. DH made me tea and a bacon bagel this morning, did all the running round after the DC in soft play, cleaned the kitchen while I had a nap with DC2, made dinner, cleaned up, and has just offered to fetch me a hot water bottle and rub my achey neck. Because he isn't a douchebag. I'm genuinely sorry that so many of you are lumbered with total douches for husbands. I hope you all begin to treat them with the same level of 'care' when they are ill.

It's sad to read stories of people's partners treating them with less care than you would expect for e.g. a work colleague who is poorly. If someone's unwell just in my office then people offer paracetamol/pick up stuff from the shops/cups of tea/tell them to go home and sleep.

DH is great when I'm I'll, looks after me, sends me to bed, picks up the slack. The only thing he doesn't usually do is stay in the room while I'm actually vomiting, I think it bothers him. But he will bring water etc. And when I threw up strawberry smoothie all over the bathroom thanks to bring pregnant he cleaned it all up and wouldn't even let me help.

My DH is a very kind man all of the time. He always pulls his weight. Reading some of your responses reminds me how blessed I am.

Just had this conversation with my dh because I've come to bed feeling rough and my DS has been ill all week with a virus. Unless I'm actually dying he won't stay home to get the kids to school and he would still go his sport after work. He cannot stand to be around ill people, has zero sympathy and I genuinely seem to annoy him when I'm unwell!

I'm sad to read so many of these posts. My DP looks after me and offers to go fetch me drugs/soup etc and cooks for me.

One memorable year, I went to bed for a couple of days feeling really unwell with a horrible sickness bug, only getting out of bed to be sick or get a glass of water.

In the middle of the 2nd day, DH walked into the bedroom, sighed and said "Well this is a waste of a bank holiday weekend".
He got his arse handed to him on a plate and I gave him no attention the next time he felt unwell.

He's not tried the same since. I was unwell feeling sick last weekend and he told me to go to bed, to get some sleep and he brought me cups of tea.

My dh helps but not as much as I would like. At the moment I have a cold and feel pretty rough. He did take over the dog walking, which he likes doing anyway but I did appreciate it as I wasn't up to a long walk, but he wouldn't do any of the jobs he isn't keen on unless I was really ill. He doesn't do things like bringing me a drink or anything, again unless I am so sick I just can't get up but if he happened to be at the shop he might pick me up a treat to cheer me up. When I was really ill with a bad back he took over everything but he was a bit grumpy about it.

Oh OP I'm so sorry that's horrible and all pp who say the same. I feel very lucky right now. I became very ill a few years ago, to the point where I was eventually housebound for quite a long time, and DP went above and beyond for me, helping me bathe and dress and even carried me to the toilet when I couldn't walk. He dotes on me when I need him to and leaves me alone when I ask, too. Although I'm better now I know that I don't have to worry because of how caring he is. I really thought that any man would do the same for his partner, and I'm so sad that that is clearly not the case.

Big hugs to you all. You deserve better.

Yes, because he's not a cunt. Quite clearly some of you are married to total cunts, who don't seem to give a shiny shit about your health or well-being if it means they might have to pull their weight just a little bit more.

This isn't OK. Are you really happy to keep having sex with these totally cruel, lazy and unfeeling arseholes??

ExH was pretty shit but what used to puss me off most was the illness top trumps.. if I felt shit and mentioned it, so did he but probably slightly worse despite being fine until I opened my mouth. Whatever it was, his was worse.

Not the worst thing about our relationship but I still look back and absolutely hate him for that.. still does it now but at least I can just say "shame, how awful for you" and then walk away.

God people on this thread have some shit husbands

Of course he does! He loves and cares about me! He will go to the shop to get me things I need, make me soup, fetch me things. Just like I would do for him if he was ill.

My DH is very caring when I'm ill. Will bring hot tea, food, go out to get medicines etc and takes over the rest whatever is needed. I do the same for him.
Sorry you are not well.
I agree your husband's attitude doesn't sound very nice...

I’ve had flu this week and mine came back from working in London and took 3 days off to have the kids so I could eat soup (he made) and rest.

Mine is an ex but no he never did. I remember having horrendous food poisoning and still wasn't right the next day. He told me "ffs, this is getting ridiculous now! One day, fair enough, but two?!" He also told me I made an embarrassing fuss during a 43 hour labour where ds was back to back and it ended in an emergency c section.

I fucking hate him.

Not at all. I'm still expected to do the shopping, cook, pick DS2 up from school... I have to take him to school as DH leaves for work before he's awake.