How often do you see your adult children?

[hazeydays14]

If they don’t have kids yet, as I think that changes the dynamic slightly.

I’m in my 20s, no children yet. I last saw my dad in September when he kindly drove me to pick up a new car. Prior to that I saw him for about 15 mins on my birthday in Feb. He lives a 10 minute drive from me. We only text if I initiate it and it’s usually about my grandparents who aren’t in good health. My parents separated when I was 18 and I don’t think his new wife likes me or my sister very much and this could play a part in it.

I last saw my mum at my nan’s 2 weeks ago where all 14 (aunt, cousins and partners, cousins son and new baby) met for Sunday lunch and to meet the baby. Prior to that she called in to see my new dog for about 15 mins at in early October. We text fairly regularly. She lives 15 minute drive from me. I used to call in for a cuppa on my way home from work fairly regularly but now I have the dog I usually go straight home. She’s been to my house a handful of times since I moved in 2 years ago.

I’m just wondering if this is normal after you’ve grown up and moved out. I just feel a bit sad that we don’t have a close relationship any more and I always initiate texts/visits unless there is an occasion or they need something.

(Oops that was longer than intended)

I have 4 dc over 18.. See dd twice a week. Text and ring every day.
Ds single, few texts a week and a coffee a couple of times a week at my house /cafe. Ds with a dc visits every Sunday.
18 yo has recently signed up for the army but has ft several times a week..
I do appreciate I am very lucky.

I think it is unusual for young people in their 20s to still want to be close to their parents and not hang out with their friends / be very busy building up their careers and lives.

My children are your age. I text or speak to my adult daughter about once a week. I probably see her about every 6-8 weeks - we usually meet in London, where she lives. She comes here for things like birthdays and Christmas. My son is living here at the moment, but I probably texted him weekly and saw him every few months when he lived elsewhere.

When I was your age, my parents never visited me and would have expected me to make the effort. That didn’t change til my children were born.

My DD calls in once or twice a week , my DS every few months he loves miles away

Lovely, it sounds like you have a great relationship with your children Winter

I have one son, 25, who is in the forces, based a good hours drive away.
He texts, but only after I've text him to ask how he is, maybe once a fortnight.
He visits/calls my mum if I remind him.
His dad isn't on the scene, and we are the only close family he has.
He is chatty and tells me what he's been up to, and how work is, but I'm not sure if he'd text without that first prompt from me...

I have plenty of friends and my career is doing fine thanks 😂

I guess I miss how close I was to my mum when I was living at uni/away from home and I’d stay at hers when I was back in my home town. I was just wondering if this was the norm when you move out I suppose.

I’m in my 20’s and have children, I see or speak to my parents every day! My siblings who are older are different they can go weeks without speaking to my parents!

I think it is unusual for young people in their 20s to still want to be close to their parents and not hang out with their friends / be very busy building up their careers and lives.
I disagree and think it is possible to see friends and build careers whilst still remaining close to parents and siblings. All the talk of the boomerang generation reflects this. The world is a smaller place and, even if an ocean separates families, they can still be in contact frequently.

I'm 29, married, work full time, am pregnant, and see my friends plenty and see my mum and dad at least once a week, usually twice. I text my mum pretty much every day. I don't think that having a close relationship with my mum has stopped my career or social life. What a strange assumption.

My adult sons tend to need to be nagged into visits or tempted with food and I know it's mostly out of duty when they do. I find that a bit hurtful tbh - but then recall how I was exactly the same with my parents at the same age!

Glad I’m not the only one who found that comment a bit strange.

I think if I had children it would definitely change things.

DS is 25 and has his own place. We text most days and see each other at least every couple of weeks. We go to lunch, cinema or just spend some time together. Last weekend he came to stay even though he only lives a few miles away .

We've always been close but I'm sure the frequency would drop if he had a serious girlfriend.I definitely won't be a grandma as he doesn't want kids.

There is an enormous variation in this, both within and between families and there is no right or wrong. Personally in my 20s I had very infrequent contact with my parents. It was before the the internet and travel also wasn't that easy, so a weekly phone call and meeting at most every few months, sometimes 18 months, was the norm. My own kids are in relatively frequent messaging contact, usually weekly, phone less frequently. Meet every few months. It's all fine.

My five are all mid/late 20's. Four of them live within 30 miles of me.

Eldest son works random hours (as do I) and I don't see him often (he doesn't drive and there's no public transport, so I have to do the travelling). I see him maybe every two months.
One DD lives in Oz and I see her once a year.
Other two DDs I see roughly once a month. Youngest often phones too, eldest is ASD and hates phones but we chat on Facebook Messenger.
Younger son texts maybe once a week, I usually see him when I see youngest DD (they live in same city) again, maybe once a month.

Only younger son drives and we are all quite rural with rubbish public transport. I work weekends, they, apart from eldest son work Mon-Fri 9-5. Otherwise we'd probably meet up more often!

I have one son who lives in Canada, by husband has two that live over 200 miles away from us. We have been married 20 years, all of the children are over 25. We text, Whatsapp a few times a week, maybe see each other 4/5 times a year - Canada son once a year. I think we initiate more than they do??? We miss them like mad but do not want them to feel pressured in any way, we always try to see them more than they do us.

Texted my mum and spoke every single day - give it take - for 28 years! I'm 48 now. Spoke to my dad weekly and visited them every week or so. 30 miles away

They both died this year so I'm glad I was available to answer my mothers many Ipad queries over the years

My dc is 23 and just moved out

We have started a tradition that they call for a glass of wine and a catch up after work on a Friday

It's nice and I hope it continues when the grandkids (hopefully) arrive

Oh and for my own kids - one is still young but the other is at uni and 21. She calls every day and is back each week usually

I have two Dd’s In their 20’s, one lives in a city about 80 miles away the other lives about 100 Miles away.
We have a family WhatsApp group with DH and we probably all post 5 or 6 messages a day. We also call/FaceTime twice a week.
They come home for a weekend about every 4/5 weeks and I visit them about twice a year.
This seems about average among my group of friends with adult children.

I have kids and see my parents 2/3 times a week. They help with childcare etc.

My two brothers. Early 30s, no kids, both call my mum every other day (ish) and we all go to our parents for dinner once a week.

No idea if this is the norm - works for us and we all enjoy each other's company.

Yes, pog I agree there probably isn’t a right or wrong. Maybe I should raise my feelings with my mum so she knows I’d like to see her more but I don’t want to guilt her, she works full time and has a partner now.

My shifts change weekly so it does make it a little harder though I do like the idea of a weekly wine night Any!

I'm 32 and married. Live in the next town with my husband. Work full time.
I see my parents on average twice a week but definitely once per week. Ring them everyday.

I'm 31 with two kids, my parents live 2miles away. I speak to them every day and see them anything between 2-5 times a week. They help out enormously with the children. They're ace.