How often do you see your adult children?

[hazeydays14]

If they don’t have kids yet, as I think that changes the dynamic slightly.

I’m in my 20s, no children yet. I last saw my dad in September when he kindly drove me to pick up a new car. Prior to that I saw him for about 15 mins on my birthday in Feb. He lives a 10 minute drive from me. We only text if I initiate it and it’s usually about my grandparents who aren’t in good health. My parents separated when I was 18 and I don’t think his new wife likes me or my sister very much and this could play a part in it.

I last saw my mum at my nan’s 2 weeks ago where all 14 (aunt, cousins and partners, cousins son and new baby) met for Sunday lunch and to meet the baby. Prior to that she called in to see my new dog for about 15 mins at in early October. We text fairly regularly. She lives 15 minute drive from me. I used to call in for a cuppa on my way home from work fairly regularly but now I have the dog I usually go straight home. She’s been to my house a handful of times since I moved in 2 years ago.

I’m just wondering if this is normal after you’ve grown up and moved out. I just feel a bit sad that we don’t have a close relationship any more and I always initiate texts/visits unless there is an occasion or they need something.

(Oops that was longer than intended)

Im Late twenties and my parents are like my best mates. I go round to their house maybe 2 weekends a month to have a good drink and a giggle. I talk to them every day. My parents regularly say to me " we don't know why you and (DP) want to hang around with us oldies" And my answer always remains the same. " Because you're fucking funny and we love you" I realise I am extremely lucky to have such cool parents that can party harder than me in their mid fifties. I honestly don't know what Id do with out them.

My daughter is 24 and lives 400 miles away from me. She stayed in the city she went to university in. I probably see her for a few days every other month but we talk on the phone pretty much every day. It's hard and I do miss her :-(

I haven't read the thread so sorry if it's moved on but I'm in my late 30's. My mother has no contact with me and my father lives abroad, he rarely texts and I see him maximum twice a year for a total of ten days.

It's very very tough and I wish I had a nice family that would look good on a John Lewis advert.

I'm hoping to change this pattern with my own daughter who is at uni. You can change things too as time goes on. X

My daughter is 31, married, no children yet. We text most days, speak on the phone at least couple of times a week and I've seen her for lunch today. I saw her about 3 weeks ago and I'll next see her on Tuesday because I'm taking her to a hospital appointment which we will make a day of. Next time will be Christmas Day. She lives an hour away from me. My son is 35 and lives further away. He travels a lot with his job and I probably only see him 4 or 5 times a year but we speak once or twice a week usually and I'd still say we are close. We had 5 day trip to NYC with my daughter earlier this year for instance. I won't see him at Christmas this year as he's going to Australia and NZ to visit his boyfriend and his cousins but we'll probably manage to squeeze in a weekend before he goes.

I’m 26 and live about 12 miles away from my parents, but I work in the same city as my mum (& my dad but he refuses to ever take advantage of that ). I probably see mum at least once a week, either for lunch/coffee, or to see their office dog, or we arrange our eyebrow appointments for the same weekend to spend time together! This week I’ve seen her 3 times - loads! But one of those was today as she’s hurt her arm, and is also feeling flu-et, so I went over to help clear a room before it’s decorated next week and nipped to the shop for her. We text almost every day too.

I probably see dad every 3 weeks and speak on the phone every fortnight or so. We have a family chat so we probably talk as a three on that every 2-3 days. I occasionally text dad but not often as he’s not got the inane chat down like mum and I!

I'm 36 and see my mum every day because she is infirm and needs my help. And because I love her company and she's a great laugh.

This is very interesting for me as it highlights how unusual my family is. We’re not close at all. In my twenties I would hardly have seen them, went home for Christmas. Now mid 40s with primary age kids abc living abroad, haven’t seen them for 3 years. No contact at all with dad, no big falling out, he just has zero interest and his wife hates me. Mum probably WhatsApp every couple of weeks and Skype a few times a year. We are not at all close. I also have no close friends, I have no idea how to maintain that kind of relationship. I think I have a warm relationship with my kids and hope we will stay in touch when they are adults. However, my perception is probably screwed up after being raised in a very cold family myself.

DD who has her own place with her bf texts most days and I see her probably twice a week.
Younger one texts maybe every other. She's in last year of uni so see her every couple of week.

I'm 30 and my parents live in the next town, so see quite a lot of them, at least once a week. Pretty much always me making the effort to go over to their house, which does make me a bit sad. I don't drive so it's more effort for me than just jumping in the car. DC1 due in 6 weeks so am hoping they will make a bit more effort to come over. They always seem happy to see me, it just doesn't seem to occur to them to make the first move and come over/ask to see us.

DH's parents- he sees them every few weeks, me slightly less often. We've only just started having contact again after a few years of NC and am taking it slowly.