How often do you see your adult children?

[hazeydays14]

If they don’t have kids yet, as I think that changes the dynamic slightly.

I’m in my 20s, no children yet. I last saw my dad in September when he kindly drove me to pick up a new car. Prior to that I saw him for about 15 mins on my birthday in Feb. He lives a 10 minute drive from me. We only text if I initiate it and it’s usually about my grandparents who aren’t in good health. My parents separated when I was 18 and I don’t think his new wife likes me or my sister very much and this could play a part in it.

I last saw my mum at my nan’s 2 weeks ago where all 14 (aunt, cousins and partners, cousins son and new baby) met for Sunday lunch and to meet the baby. Prior to that she called in to see my new dog for about 15 mins at in early October. We text fairly regularly. She lives 15 minute drive from me. I used to call in for a cuppa on my way home from work fairly regularly but now I have the dog I usually go straight home. She’s been to my house a handful of times since I moved in 2 years ago.

I’m just wondering if this is normal after you’ve grown up and moved out. I just feel a bit sad that we don’t have a close relationship any more and I always initiate texts/visits unless there is an occasion or they need something.

(Oops that was longer than intended)

I'm 32 with a 1 year old. My mum died when I was young and I'm super close with my dad, he now lives 15 mins away and I see him 2 or 3 times a week maybe? More so since my little girl was born. When I lived an hour away, I'd see him probably once every other week?

I've one adult child at home so I see him every day of course. The other two have moved out, but I see them once a week or so & we call or text in between.

I see & speak to them far more than I did /do my own parents.

I was very independent when I left home and moved 100 miles away. I didn't see my parents much, and as my mum was difficult, I liked it that way.

When my kids left home, I imagined them to be like me, and didn't want to intrude on their lives. It was years before I discovered that they wished I'd shown more interest, had more contact and visited them more. They'd assumed from my absence, that I wasn't bothered.
I was so sad to have entirely misread the situation, and that they weren't me, and I'm not my mother. Now I see them maybe once a week, but at least once a fortnight.

I think it is unusual for young people in their 20s to still want to be close to their parents and not hang out with their friends / be very busy building up their careers and lives

Is it? I've spoken to my mum pretty much most days of my life since leaving uni and I have a great career and lots of friends. I just talk to her about it all. That is unusual though, I don't have many friends who talk that often to their mum and by contrast I speak with my dad probably once every three weeks or month, as we don't get on as well.

Im 32 and I text my mum and dad every day and see them twice a week. Im on mat leave at the mo bht befor that i went over twice a week for dinner after work and sometimes we met up at the weekend too

Saraclara it sounds like you wished they’d said something sooner? My mum has always been close to hers but she had me at 22 and my Nan helped with my childcare.

Food for thought, thanks for the replies.

I think if my family lived 10 mins down the road then we’d see them, at least for a cuppa, once every one or two weeks. As it is, they all live at least 2 hours drive away. We see most of the family 2 or 3 times a year. We FaceTime grandparents every 2-3 weeks or so.

I have 4 all over 18.
Daily contact with all of them

I barely see or speak to my mum unless I initiate the conversation or unless she wants something.

I see my dad probably just about as frequently as my mum, he hasn’t been to the house I live in nor did he come to the house I lived in prior for 2 years so I only saw him if I called in at his

Ds lives abroad so maybe weekly contact. Dd lives 20 minutes away and I do 3 days after school care for dgs and speak to dd most days.

DH & I see our respective parents once a week. I don't see my grandparents much though as my DC (or any young children) can be a bit too much for them at times.

This is fascinating. I'm mid twenties, single, no kids. I live approx 100miles from my parents and see them probably about 5/6 times a year - Christmas and Easter, a couple of family gatherings, me visiting them and vice versa. I call every week or every other week.

I'd like to see them more but I can't put them up and it takes three hours+ for me to get to them on public transport so it's not that often.

The last time I saw them was in summer I think. Before that was in Easter, then february-ish, then I think Christmas. I'll see them next early december, then Christmas.

I do think I would see them more if I lived closer to home - but that's how life goes!

I see my Dad about once a year (step mum would like it to be never) and try to only see Mum 3-4 times a year maximum. They don't love me so it hurts to be around them.

I'm sad and surprised by this thread, makes me understand why I feel lonely a lot (recently divorced too).

But being low contact with them is the lesser of two evils. Actually hardly ever see dsis too and her family, she's nasty to me. God I was dealt a bad hand! I'd love it if my next husband, if there is one, has a lovely family I can join.

My adult ds and dd come here for a meal on Wednesday evening and I often see them one day at the weekend. We text every day. They live pretty locally though so would expect to see them less if and when they move further away.

My son is 25 and lives about 10 mins away with his girlfriend. He pops round on days off work ( to see the dog, not us!), every couple of weeks they come for Sunday lunch and we text when we have something to say. I can call on him anytime and he will always help ( we Foster and sometimes have crises with the kids).

I’m 25, DH is 27. We see his parents every Sunday night unless someone has other plans, we go out for tea together and really enjoy our little routine. We sometimes pop in either together or apart for a catch up randomly too.
My DM I see every other week now I would say. It used to be every week but I’m trying to step back at the moment, we have a difficult relationship due to her attitude towards my (perfectly lovely) DH.

If I don’t speak to my mum & gran everyday it’s every other day. Seen my gran 2/3 times a week and my mum maybe once because she works. I’m 27 with 3 kids of my own too ☺️ Iv just stayed over at my mums for a week because my MH was terrible.

Oh, and we live 5 minutes from in laws and 45 minutes from my mum.

Copper my dad also fosters so this does account for some of his unavailability as I know this takes up a lot of his time.

I'm 40 and I see my mum and dad every day. Sometimes for five mins, sometimes an hour, sometimes a few hours.

I work from home but live two mins from my parents and their house is on the way to the school run so I pop in and out for a cup of tea on the way to school/home from school and make sure they are both ok. They are getting on in age now.

Probably speak to my mum a few times on the phone throughout the day aswell.

We are just very close. A lot more since I've had my DD.

Hasn't hampered my social life at all. Still see friends and go out once every couple of weeks with my partner.

I see my mum once a week. I live about an hour away. Call or text every other day.

When I was in my 20s, efore I met my partner I'd go to my parents' every Sunday for lunch and to read the papers. The three of us are all quite quiet so I remember those days very fondly.
Once I was with my partner it was less but we'd be in contact most weeks and see each other every month.
Once I had kids I spoke to my mum every day and we see each other at least once a week.

My DP only has his dad now, and he isn't interested in the slightest. Might call on birthday or Xmas, doesn't answer his phone or respond to voice mails or emails promptly. No falling out, just isn't interested.

Obviously this depends hugely on proximity - if you live 100s of miles from your parents you probably won’t see them as often as someone who lives just round the corner from theirs.

I think it also varies lots between families. Pre-kids I would call my parents, living a few hundred miles away, every few months and see them 2 to 3 times a year. Now they live 3 hour drive away and I call them every week or two to update on the kids and see them e wet few months, they tend to come to see the children on their birthdays in addition to at Christmas and then there may be the odd other family gathering. I probably see them every couple of months. But DP’s Dad lives just across town and we see his Dad and step-mum most weekdays as they help with childcare and we’ll sometimes see them at weekends too. Obviously it’s much easier to be regularly in touch when you live nearby.

I see my parents on average about once a month. Always been like that since I moved out. My parents house is generally the meeting point for me and my siblings as well. I speak to my mum on the phone about once a week and my dad I tend to text.

Family WhatsApp is great, three DDs me and XH keep in touch constantly on that. Talk to or text two DDs who live away as and when needed/feel like it - sometimes daily, more often weekly. They come home often for the dogs. We’re all busy but close. I speak to my v aged Dad once a week and see him every couple of months, he lives 2 hours away, I wish I could go more often