Domestically violent friend WWYD

[BillytheMountain]

I would never ever have thought this, ever.

Found the partner of a dear friend with her face beaten and bruised and discovered that my much loved and highly respected friend is domestically violent. Astounded.

Repulsed. But unsure what to do.

I have offered her help and refuge, as did other friend who was there. We took her to hospital, she agreed to leave but went back to him that night. Offer is open obviously, but she is under a spell.

I don't know, do I hang around to help my friend, hope that he can find a way to live without being violent to partner. Does this happen, do men change.

I can't believe in a million years that this has happened. Any experience similar, wise words. In turmoil, shock and horror.

We are connected socially, friend & I with social community hobby, it's he who is my friend, I don't know his partner. I'd like to help, to be there to help change. Is this possible?

Yeah funny how they don't turn their "anger" on anyone other than their (attached, invested, possibly dependant, vulnerable) partner.

This man with terrible temper and anger management would somehow manage to control.it in a roomful of tough guys, or the police.

*anger management problems.

Work is also stressful and challenging for many people, with frictions and personality clashes common; funny how he's not attacking his work colleagues.

@Sandals19

That is it, in a nutshell.

A lack of ability to control their anger implies that it is an issue which can be resolved via counselling and psychologists and all that. That they need to somehow rewire their thought processes and then all will be good in the world.

But as you say, in many cases (I would even hazard a guess that it's the majority of cases) that anger is directed only towards their terrified partner. Not their work colleagues, or people in the street, or authorities, or particularly large and unflappable men who won't take that crap. Or in other words, it's not directed towards anyone who may challenge it.

It's bullying, that's all it is. Severe, relentless, abusive bullying. And they know it's wrong, which is why they don't do it to everyone else. And bullies don't need to be 'fixed' - they need to be punished.

OP did anything further happen...did you do anything?
Have any of the group said or done anything?