Why would my ex partner from 17 years ago block me on Facebook?

[Heidi3333]

Not that I'm bothered I'm just curious as to why he would do this...

We were together for 4 years when we were in our 20's (I'm now 44 and still single), lived together for most of that time. He was a sh!t to me though and would often turn off his phone and disappear on benders, was a serial womaniser and I caught him cheating on me twice - the second time I up and left but he didn't want me to leave; he moved the other girl in the next day and now they are married with 3 kids. We split up 17 years ago and I cut all contact with him shortly afterwards as I was really angry with
Him. It took him a long time to come to terms with as he continued to contact me for 18 months afterwards and finally gave up when I sent him a strongly worded email.

I've remained single for the most part since. I sometimes look at exes profiles on Facebook out of curiosity and boredom, including his and his wife's. I have no intention of ever contacting them and will go to my
grave having never contacting him again. However, I suspect he also checks my profile out as well. A few years ago I changed my profile picture to one showing I was 6 moths pregnant (used a sperm donor). After no contact for 15 years he sent me a message a few weeks after this picture was put up. I ignored him. A few weeks ago I couldn't find him on FB but when I checked from my mums page I found him no bother - he'd obviously blocked me!! Then a few days ago the same thing happened on his wife's page - she's blocked me too!

Now I'm not upset by any of this. I find it quite laughable. But why would he do this? I haven't contacted him for 17 years and have no intention of ever doing so!

Any opinions please?

Thanks x

Nobody here will have any idea. We'd be guessing

I think the real issue is why are you bothered? This doesn't seem healthy to me - are you struggling to move on from the past, a past which centres around what sounds like a terrible ex partner?

Try and find ways to help you move forward and shake this obsession off.

You shouldn't care as to why he's blocked you. Be grateful he has to be honest

Could you have theoretical, obviously fat fingers and accidentally liked/poked/friended either one of them? I'm guessing a random like from an old flame could possibly set some cogs in motion to wonder why you're snooping and for me to then block you.

At a guess, he's still a serial womaniser and his wife therefore wasn't happy at him contacting you.

Well since it's been a few years since he contacted you i doubt the wife is to blame, why do some women always twist it to make the women to blame?

Op, why are you stalking this guy and his wife, even checking on your mums computer, it's really unhealthy.

I think they have done you a favour. Time to move on.

Can’t comment on him
But it’s very strange you pursuing this - checking out on your mums profile and even starting a thread

I don't think it's healthy or necessary that you think about him and search for him (and his wife ) regularly on FB OP- would it not be better to just move on completely, it's quite a long time ago - 4 years in your twenties isn't much and he sounds like he was a twit anyway.

Genuine question OP- why does he interest you so much that you do all that and start a thread about it because you are sat at home wondering what he's thinking and doing?

Re: the blocking, it could be anything, who cares. Maybe his wife saw the message, asked, found out it was a random ex from years ago and said she'd rather he didnt- maybe they caught wind that you look them up online all the time and would prefer you didn't.

There was no need to even be friends on fb in the first place, you aren't friends and aren't anything tangible to one another and have not been for a significantly period of time. Hopefully him blocking you will be a favour in that you can't indulge the desire to look- though the fact you're already using someone else's account to check on him and his wife still- indicates not!

He's been caught cheating.

Hid unfortunate wife has implemented a scorched earth policy and demanded he clear the "field" inc SM of all females.

You are the equivalent of burned crops.

I am one who gets a lot of contact from exes. I talk to one or two actually, I am friends with them. The tone massively changes once you are pregnant. They seem to back off because it’s a 100% done deal that you aren’t getting back together. He’s probably done it because he’s sitting there thinking he’s emotionally done with it now.

Expect him to unblock you in 6 months to nose at the baby and see if a dad is around.

*Hi
It won't work of course but that's probably the approach she's taken.

How often are you checking these pages? Nothing necessarily wrong with having a nose once X amount of years down the line. But you seem to do it a lot perhaps. Don't give it any more head room and leave it at that.

After no contact for 15 years he sent me a message a few weeks after this picture was put up

Sorry, missed this.

It's possible he hasn't been caught cheating recently but that his wife knows what he's like, found out about the message and demanded he delete you etc.

She's been checking his messages and been upset that he contacted you, would be my guess

It drives me absolutely demented, the amount of posters who will turn anything around to put the blame for him blocking the OP on his wife. Must be a mental women eh?

God OP just stop stalking him

All those who are saying he has done something or your ex Dh has done something, have no idea what they are talking about and it just shows their own prejudices and miserable attitude.
You don't respond to him? If I had a FB friend who I hadnt had a conversation with online or face to face in over 15 years I would definitely delete them.
Why do you even care? As others have allude to that's the biggest worry in your post. You say you laugh about it, but I think you are still so invested in that relationship that it haunts you now. You have made a whole post about it and gone a detective exercise for goodness sake.
I think you may want to worry about your own life style than others.

She says she was pregnant a few years ago.

Bottom line is on line stalking this man and his wife after nearly two decades is not healthy. Not healthy at all, this relationship was when you were in your twenties, you must be in your forties now.

Let it go. No one knows why they blocked you, but you shouldn't be stalking these people.

If you search them to stalk them you are likely to pop up in their 'people you may know' section.

If any of them have twigged this is why you keep cropping up there, they might have decided to just block you. I did that to my exMIL. She had never been on FB, but one day a profile in her name with no photo and no other friends cropped up in my friend suggestions. A quick Google and I realised either she or my ex were probably being nosey so I upped my security and blocked the profile.

It drives me absolutely demented, the amount of posters who will turn anything around to put the blame for him blocking the OP on his wife

Agreed, it's bonkers. It's the woman's fault and he's been cheating is a bag shit crazy assumption.

They've probably blocked her if they have found out she's stalking them on line,

he's been cheating is a bag shit crazy assumption.

Scorched earth on all ex partners and female acquaintances is the oldest reaction/ "approach" in the book when a guys been caught cheating and he and his partner are (wasting their time) working it out.

Op says thus man was a serial philanderer. That type very rarely changes.

However since I saw he sent her a message after 15 yrs, I'd surmise that was actually the catalyst for the block her requirement from his partner; most likely due to her previous experiences of his infidelity.

And btw none of that, in any way, is "blaming" his partner. That's just how dysfunctional relationships with philandering men and women who stay with them go.

A few points I should clarify:

We have never been Facebook friends. We have had no contact since we split nearly 20 years ago - apart from the message he sent me when I was pregnant.

I am totally over him and would never go back there. I feel sorry for his wife.

I am NOT stalking the guy!! I look up lots of people from my past on FB, ex boyfriends and ex friends included. Doesn't everyone do this?! I can only ever see his profile pictures, nothing else. It's just something I do put of boredom/curiousity once a month or so.

I'm not a looney. I was just genuinely interested in what the reasons may be as to why someone would behave the way he has.

A few weeks ago I couldn't find him on FB but when I checked from my mums page I found him no bother - he'd obviously blocked me!!

But why were you even looking for him?

I don't think looking up old flames and old acquaintances on FB regularly is a universal passtime, no.

You realise that you will be coming up as a suggested friend if you have never been friends on fb and if they know they didn't search it, it's obvious it's you and now your mums profile, which was also you.

Do you still like him do you think on a subconscious level?

It's because he's madly in love with you, and the past 17yrs of his life has been living a lie with his wife and 3 kids. She's finally had enough of the daily poetry and songs his writes about you, and demanded he makes the ultimate sacrifice and blocks you on FB. It's been really hard for them both and she's burnt the suitcase of love letters he wrote but never sent.... Or they both just cottoned on you keep popping up on their FB constantly and didn't want someone nebbing.

“ I look up lots of people from my past on FB, ex boyfriends and ex friends included. Doesn't everyone do this?! ”

No. Only if they’re curious about them, maybe once or twice, but this sounds like it’s a regular thing. Are you very bored?

Just forget it and move on.