Why would my ex partner from 17 years ago block me on Facebook?

[Heidi3333]

Not that I'm bothered I'm just curious as to why he would do this...

We were together for 4 years when we were in our 20's (I'm now 44 and still single), lived together for most of that time. He was a sh!t to me though and would often turn off his phone and disappear on benders, was a serial womaniser and I caught him cheating on me twice - the second time I up and left but he didn't want me to leave; he moved the other girl in the next day and now they are married with 3 kids. We split up 17 years ago and I cut all contact with him shortly afterwards as I was really angry with
Him. It took him a long time to come to terms with as he continued to contact me for 18 months afterwards and finally gave up when I sent him a strongly worded email.

I've remained single for the most part since. I sometimes look at exes profiles on Facebook out of curiosity and boredom, including his and his wife's. I have no intention of ever contacting them and will go to my
grave having never contacting him again. However, I suspect he also checks my profile out as well. A few years ago I changed my profile picture to one showing I was 6 moths pregnant (used a sperm donor). After no contact for 15 years he sent me a message a few weeks after this picture was put up. I ignored him. A few weeks ago I couldn't find him on FB but when I checked from my mums page I found him no bother - he'd obviously blocked me!! Then a few days ago the same thing happened on his wife's page - she's blocked me too!

Now I'm not upset by any of this. I find it quite laughable. But why would he do this? I haven't contacted him for 17 years and have no intention of ever doing so!

Any opinions please?

Thanks x

It would make me happy if she had caught h cheating. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Some men never learn 🙄

Why do you feel like this nearly two decades later? This couple have been together for seventeen years.

And no not once a cheat, always a cheat, he may be completely faithful to her, simply because he cheated on you as a young man and your relationship didn't work out doesn't mean he will again.

And the fact they are still together 17 years and 3 kids later speaks volumes.

But why would you care if he has or hasn't been caught?

He is your way back past, fuck all to do with you, for decades now.

You sound like a loon

You do sound a bit obsessed with him. Who cares why he blocked you? It's not your concern. You have not spoken in 20 years. Why should it bother you like this? Doesn't seem healthy.

And it's a bit disturbing how you're waiting to see if his marriage is falling apart. It shows that you're still hung up over the way he treated you 20 years ago. If they have been together for 17 years with three kids then you're going to be waiting for a long time for them to split. Don't hold your breath.

Why do you care? How did you even know you had been blocked?

Maybe you share lots of crap on Facebook?

Obviously most people are not as nosy as us. I get it. I like looking at profiles of people I used to know. I like to see what they look like now. Most people I know do the same! I thinks lot of people just don't admit it.

I think he has been caught cheating and she has lay a few ground rules down. Including contact with exes etc...

It's not healthy to look him up. I had a one night thing with someone and I wish I didn't but I found out his full name. Found him on Instagram and burst out crying seeing him again. You don't need to know what him or his wife are doing

Thanks rayn you seem to get what I'm saying! I totally over him, feel indifferent towards him and merely
look them up out of nosiness and boredom. The fact they've blocked me doesn't upset pr bother me, just curious as to why they would do that! I have no intention of ever contacting him or getting back with him, wouldn't touch him again with a barge pole!

Of course it's normal to have a nosey at exes on Facebook from time to time.

Also, all the people saying that she would have come up on People You May Know - that isn't how Facebook works. People we view will come up on our People You May Know if we are not friends with them, but it doesn't work the other way round. There is no way at all to tell who looks at your profile.

* Of course it's normal to have a nosey at exes on Facebook from time to time. *

Completely. But to then log on your mum’s account to do further digging. Then check out the wife’s page also.
And then start a thread asking for people’s thoughts on the situation. Not so normal.

I would say it's more likely that you've appeared in both of their "people you may know" lists or you've liked one of her photos without realising.

If I suspected someone who I wasn't friends with was looking at my profile, I would block them.

It would make me happy if she had caught h cheating. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Some men never learn 🙄

And some men do learn. He's been with her 17 years, married her and had a family. It would make you happy if he blew that apart?

How bitter, after all this time.

Chippypickledeggs - that's what I thought. I'm not worried people I'm not FB friends with know I look at their profile.

I don’t think it’s that unusual looking up exes on Facebook but once a month does sound obsessive. Maybe once year or something!

Why do you care? Why would you even look him up on FB? Weird

I must be odd too as I always look up past people. I feel nothing for them, I'm just nosey and curious and bored sometimes. But then I'm the same with the internet in general, always looking up stuff and reading about it, wanting to know more. A phone addict basically

Do you do it once a month though CookPassBabtridge ?? I think once in a year while isn’t too bad but once a month sounds abit stalkerish

The only thing that i can think of is that you have a mutual friend and he feels self-conscious about you potentially reading his comments on her page.

Ah. No. I get it. You went no contact so he has gone no cantact better
My xh has done this. He was abusive to me. Verbally emotionally practically and like you for 18 months after I left him, he was still making me justify myself to him. When i finally went no contact it was the only thing i ever did that had any impact on him at all. So he went no contact bigger and better. Im a ghost to him now. Even if our kids are standing right there.

@Sandals19 nicely put! Maybe his wife could see you were coming up as 'people you might know'

I think it's understandable to be curious, I occasionally look up one of my exes from 6 years ago but I'm not on Facebook and Instagram doesn't do the suggested friends thing as far as I'm aware, but I also have an account which has no details about me on it, so even if I did pop up he wouldn't know it was me

You won't ever get to the bottom of why he blocked you, and there are a few possible scenarios, just put it down to one of those things that can't be explained.

Gosh people are nasty. So what if op has different social media habits to you? It doesn't mean she's wrong and you're right. Also, if I understood it correctly she is a single mom so she probably finds herself sitting in alone looking things up a good bit.

Anyway to answer - you can't know why they blocked you. You may have accidentally revealed your creeping, they might have suspected from you appearing in friend suggestions or they might have argued about him messaging you for no real reason.

Your post reminded me - my DP's ex appeared in my friends suggestions. I blocked her immediately. I didn't think too much about why she appeared - if she had been looking at my profile or if it simply picked her up from my phone contacts. Whatever the reason I blocked her. And forgot about it till now.

Maybe hes over you.Over the years if you havent kept in touch and why would you both? then you play no part in his existance,He has moved on and left you in the past,He is not interested in revisiting his past life,you share not one useful thing in common so hes deleted you.I do this all the time for people who share no purpose in my life,just dump them. Everyone moves on and its the here and now that matters OP. ! I dont think this is mean of him he has just moved on and cut ties thats all.I suppose it served no useful purpose you being on his list so to speak so he had a clear out and I bet your not the only person he cleared out either ..dont take it personally.

Ah. No. I get it. You went no contact so he has gone no cantact better

I agree with this. I did it myself once, not with an ex but with someone who I had a falling out with which I considered to be not my fault. They blocked me so I though "how very dare you?" and blocked them back - that'll learn them!