I hate my sister so much!

[aurorae0222]

So late on Friday me (24) and my husband were getting ready for bed when his phone starting ringing and there were text messages like crazy. I asked him who he thought it was and he said his girlfriend, jokingly.

He went to get the phone and he came back into the master bath and said something to the likes of hey, it’s your sister (37). Your dad had a heart attack.

I was initially furious. I was like it’s not funny and it’s not something to joke about but when I saw how serious he was I got this awful feeling. I can’t describe it. I felt this awful dreaded feeling, almost like my stomach dropping. I had a mini panic attack - rung, shaking , heart racing.

We asked a neighbour to watch our 6’u-month old and raced to the hospital. My sister, who I haven’t talked to in nearly a month (had a major falling out) was there and so was my SM. They were waiting while my dad had emergency heart surgery.

I was like why didn’t anyone call me? My sister was cold saying you know or you wouldn’t be here. My SM apologizes and said it was her fault. She said that they didn’t know how to “break it” to me and she didn’t have time to call both of us so she asked my sister to call me.

I am really emotional, hurt and angry at that point I approached her, my sister, and said thanks. I said to her I swear to god if anything happens to dad i will never forgive you or her, referring to SM. She started to say something and her our DH’s step between us.

The 7-hour wait was horrible with no one talking to anyone except our spouses. We even waited for each other to leave before seeing him. Not a word between sisters - I must have been there for at least 12 hours. So thankful my DH was there.

My sister didn't have the decency to call me (no missed calls, no text messages nothing) because she is angry with me instead she calls my DH because she doesn’t want to talk to me. They robbed me the chance of possibly seeing my dad (thank god he is okay).

Was feeling sad because we were fighting and I love her and truly thought she loved me but now I feel nothing but despise toward her. Am I wrong in reacting like this? Some would argue that she did call, albeit to my DH.

I said to her I swear to god if anything happens to dad i will never forgive you or her, referring to SM

Why would it have been their fault? They didn't make him have a heart attack. When it happened your SM rightly focussed on her husband but still let one of you know, and that person duly let you know. In what way would either of them need forgiveness?

Getting back to what's important OP, how is your Dad?

Am I wrong in reacting like this?
Yes
Some would argue that she did call, albeit to my DH
Exactly.
If she'd phoned you, would you have answered? How does she know that?

You were called. You saw your dad. Hopefully he's recovering.

I wonder what your sister's version is

I had a talk with my SM. I apologized. I overreacted but it was a shock and a stressful situation. Had a great heart to heart with her about my sister. She brought a new perspective. Her life was considerably harder than mine and she saw the affect of her parents (my dad and my biological mother) relationship ending and her mom’s mental health declining which led to my biological mother leaving when I was a couple of months old.
We talked about how leaving for school affected her (feelings of abandonment) and how she is probably jealous of my stable life and my “air tight” relationship with my dad, as my SM put it. In addition she still loves “her” mother. However, I choose to have nothing to do with my biological mother and that is my choice. I never knew or comprehended her feelings because she never opened up or talked to me about it.
I apologizes to my sister. We have a difficult relationship given the huge age gap and circumstances. She said thanks and says it doesn't change things (this feud) which I am okay with. Like my SM said, we are both very stubborn, strong willed and hot tempered.
It was also my dad’s request that they not tell me right away. He didn’t want me to worry or cause me distress seeing him in a bad state so he asked my SM not to tell me until he was okay,
I am glad everything is okay for now. I will give it time with my sister. We will work on it one day.

Glad things are ok for now. Hope things improve between you and your sister.

I would be thankful your father survived frankly, doesnt that put things into perspective ?

Same happened to my husband 2 years ago, unfortunately he wasnt so lucky, he died aged 51.

That’s a good update OP.

Glad you managed to get it sorted op and that your dad is feeling better.

@ShatnersWig about our biological mother. Left when I was 2 months old and DS was 12. Have never had a relationship with biological mother (chose not to) - raised by my dad and later SM; it’s my choice. She loves her mother.
DS babysat for me, took my daughter to see biological mother against my wishes; said she had a right to see her grandchild. What
about my right as a mother and my wishes not to engage or have anything to do with my biological mother? We got into an argument.
She got mean. Insulted me for getting pregnant while in school (was 23), not finishing my degree during my pregnancy, questioned my relationship, having a baby out of marriage (even called my baby a “bastard child”).
I choose not to acknowledge “her mother”. Like I said it’s my right. She doesn’t and won’t accept that.
That’s the basis of the feud.

She was very wrong to do that and calling your child a bastard? I am not surprised you are not speaking. She broke your trust then verbally abused you.

@RageAgainstTheVendingMachine yes that is why I got so hurt. My baby was born out of love; married or not.
Ok, so I didn’t finish school because I got pregnant mid-way through, so what?
We have been through fights and arguments but when she got personal with my husband and baby it got personal. Funny how protective we are of the people we love.