I hate my sister so much!

[aurorae0222]

So late on Friday me (24) and my husband were getting ready for bed when his phone starting ringing and there were text messages like crazy. I asked him who he thought it was and he said his girlfriend, jokingly.

He went to get the phone and he came back into the master bath and said something to the likes of hey, it’s your sister (37). Your dad had a heart attack.

I was initially furious. I was like it’s not funny and it’s not something to joke about but when I saw how serious he was I got this awful feeling. I can’t describe it. I felt this awful dreaded feeling, almost like my stomach dropping. I had a mini panic attack - rung, shaking , heart racing.

We asked a neighbour to watch our 6’u-month old and raced to the hospital. My sister, who I haven’t talked to in nearly a month (had a major falling out) was there and so was my SM. They were waiting while my dad had emergency heart surgery.

I was like why didn’t anyone call me? My sister was cold saying you know or you wouldn’t be here. My SM apologizes and said it was her fault. She said that they didn’t know how to “break it” to me and she didn’t have time to call both of us so she asked my sister to call me.

I am really emotional, hurt and angry at that point I approached her, my sister, and said thanks. I said to her I swear to god if anything happens to dad i will never forgive you or her, referring to SM. She started to say something and her our DH’s step between us.

The 7-hour wait was horrible with no one talking to anyone except our spouses. We even waited for each other to leave before seeing him. Not a word between sisters - I must have been there for at least 12 hours. So thankful my DH was there.

My sister didn't have the decency to call me (no missed calls, no text messages nothing) because she is angry with me instead she calls my DH because she doesn’t want to talk to me. They robbed me the chance of possibly seeing my dad (thank god he is okay).

Was feeling sad because we were fighting and I love her and truly thought she loved me but now I feel nothing but despise toward her. Am I wrong in reacting like this? Some would argue that she did call, albeit to my DH.

I think your feelings are hurt because although youre having a family crisis, your sister still didn't want to speak to you directly. We all like to think that no matter what happens in a family, we would all pull together in an emergency, but she didn't. So now you think things are definitely irreparable from her point of view and you're reacting in anger.

She called your DH, she didn't leave a note on your windscreen.

You are looking for reasons to be angry at your DSis, I suspect. You want more fuel for your fight.

Life is, honestly, too short. I hope your dad makes a full recovery and you sort your head out.

Focus on your dad, it’s not about you.

Pop back into the master bath and sort yourself out.

OP, I think you need to try and take a step back here and cast your eye over the situation now that the emergency has passed. I was in a similar situation recently except it was my younger brother taken ill and he died very quickly. The call didn’t come from my dad or my SIL but my stepmum because everybody else was rushing to be at his side, quite rightly. Quite honestly it didn’t matter who rang as long as I knew and was able to go and say goodbye. That was the most important thing. I understand your worries and fears for your Dad and I hope he makes a full and fast recovery. However, don’t turn this into something it isn’t. Try and repair the relationship with your sister if you can. As I know only too well, life is short and can be taken at any time. None of this drama is worth it.

Perhaps she wanted your husband to break it to you rather than tell you in a call. If it was me I would want to make sure my sister had support before breaking the news. You need to apologise to both women ( poor step mum has enough to deal with don't you think )

Some would argue that she did call, albeit to my DH.

Can you explain why you think this is incorrect, OP?

So your issue isn’t that you didn’t know in a timely manner but your Sis and SM didn’t contact you directly. Get over yourself!

She got in touch. You’re ranting for nothing. You got to the hospital and now your dad is okay.

Sort it out with your sister. The stress between you can’t be helping your dad.

you're picking a fight here.
take a step back.

She did call you, she called you through your husband. She didn't want to talk to you personally but got the message through to you.
Don't make this about you. Both your sister and SM are at the hospital with your dad undergoing open heart surgery and you are kicking off.
You need to give your head a wobble and focus on what is really important.

You don’t seem to have very high opinion of the people close to you

* I was initially furious. I was like it’s not funny and it’s not something to joke about *

Your initial response was fury thinking your DH was joking. Very odd response

This s a tough time OP but you’re being completely unreasonable. Your sister did make sure you knew, she was insistent in speaking to your husband, and probably knew you wouldn’t answer if she called you direct. Your SM has done nothing wrong, and you saw fit to verbally attack her while her husband was in surgery. You’ve not behaved well, take a step back and rethink your behaviour.

Both of you need to grow up a bit.

Are you imyomg op that she deliberately waited until your Dad was in surgery before contacting your husband so you couldn't see him before surgery? How long had he been in when she called?

And it says an awful lot about you that you’re focussing on this when your father is so ill

she did tell you. via your DH. she made sure you knew and that you were able to get to the hospital. Zero problem with this. In fact, having your husband break it to you rather than her was probably the better thing to do if you are currently not speaking.

Also when it rang out presumably came up with your sisters name. Why did he go off to the bathroom to answer it, not say "it's your sister" and take it in front of you. A call late at night would suggest something was wrong.

You sound hugely selfish. How dare you be so horrible to your step mother for nothing at a time like that! You are pissed because you weren’t called first, it’s not about how they rang you at all. You enjoy point scoring against your sister even when your father is very ill. Give your head a bloody wobble.

What a drama. She did contact you.
Your behaviour in the hospital while your father was have life saving surgery was disgusting. It's not all about you.

She did contact you. Repeatedly and urgently. Via your husband. For all she knew you’d ignore her/have her blocked anyway. You should have had the good grace and decency to thank her for contacting you, despite your fallout.

If I were her I certainly wouldn’t bother myself again. You made it all about you when it really, really wasn’t.

I don't think she's done anything wrong unless your h has a history of not passing on messages. Yabvu to shout.

I am very sorry that your father is ill though.

I think what you said was awful about never forgiving her or your SM.

Your SMs husband was very ill, your falling out with your sister was not her priority. She made a decision to call one of you. Why should it be you over your sister?

Your sister then did her best to get in contact with you. She may be a shit. But she did nothing wrong either.

But what you said was really low.

I wouldn’t call you if I’d fallen out with you either. You sound extremely dramatic and actually quite nasty.
She called your husband who told you.
Truthfully, if she had rung you that night would you have answered? Or would you have pulled a face and ended the call?
She got the message to you as quickly as she could via a channel she knew you would acknowledge.
Yes it’s a shock and I’m sorry about your dad, but your behaviour has been awful. You shouldn’t storm into a hospital and attack people. Sadly there will have been plenty of other people suffering in the hospital that night besides your own family, and they certainly didn’t need to hear you behaving like that. Grow up!