I hate my sister so much!

[aurorae0222]

So late on Friday me (24) and my husband were getting ready for bed when his phone starting ringing and there were text messages like crazy. I asked him who he thought it was and he said his girlfriend, jokingly.

He went to get the phone and he came back into the master bath and said something to the likes of hey, it’s your sister (37). Your dad had a heart attack.

I was initially furious. I was like it’s not funny and it’s not something to joke about but when I saw how serious he was I got this awful feeling. I can’t describe it. I felt this awful dreaded feeling, almost like my stomach dropping. I had a mini panic attack - rung, shaking , heart racing.

We asked a neighbour to watch our 6’u-month old and raced to the hospital. My sister, who I haven’t talked to in nearly a month (had a major falling out) was there and so was my SM. They were waiting while my dad had emergency heart surgery.

I was like why didn’t anyone call me? My sister was cold saying you know or you wouldn’t be here. My SM apologizes and said it was her fault. She said that they didn’t know how to “break it” to me and she didn’t have time to call both of us so she asked my sister to call me.

I am really emotional, hurt and angry at that point I approached her, my sister, and said thanks. I said to her I swear to god if anything happens to dad i will never forgive you or her, referring to SM. She started to say something and her our DH’s step between us.

The 7-hour wait was horrible with no one talking to anyone except our spouses. We even waited for each other to leave before seeing him. Not a word between sisters - I must have been there for at least 12 hours. So thankful my DH was there.

My sister didn't have the decency to call me (no missed calls, no text messages nothing) because she is angry with me instead she calls my DH because she doesn’t want to talk to me. They robbed me the chance of possibly seeing my dad (thank god he is okay).

Was feeling sad because we were fighting and I love her and truly thought she loved me but now I feel nothing but despise toward her. Am I wrong in reacting like this? Some would argue that she did call, albeit to my DH.

Try and separate your dads condition and your understandable anxiety with the fall out with your life sister
As arguably she DID tell you , and you got the message

For now focus on your dad and make peace with your SM

Handle the sister issue later down the line ? Just be civil till you know what’s happening

Also when it rang out presumably came up with your sisters name. Why did he go off to the bathroom to answer it, not say "it's your sister" and take it in front of you.

So far as I can see, @SleepingStandingUp, he didn't do this. He went to fetch the phone and brought it back to the bathroom where OP was getting ready for bed.

Never forgive her? Robbed you of a chance to see your dad? come on OP that is ridiculous. Very inappropriate of you to vocalise it at the hospital when your DF is so ill and everyone is worried.

She notified you, despite not wishing to speak to you, and you went to the hospital. You can hardly blame her for the timeline. Your hatred for her seems to be limiting your critical thought. Do you also blame DF's partner, who was too (very reasonably busy and upset) to call?

It can take a while at hospital to get answers or info OP, perhaps the situation was unclear. Calling you first and foremost would not have altered what happened to him. The world doesn't revolve around you. Not everyone can be 'next of kin'.

I sincerely hope his health improves and am sorry for the shock but you have overreacted and should apologise. Deal with your issues with your sister separately, or get therapy.

What exactly is your problem OP? Your SM requested you were contacted and your DS was a big enough person to realise that the fastest way was to go via your husband. It sounds like you’re angry because DS was told first -be honest with yourself-would you have answered her call if it’d come to your phone?
What will your DF think when he discovers that instead of supporting your SM and sister, that rather than banding together to share the worry- you had the gall to berate them over some perceived slight- while he’s in surgery no less

Guess Op is never coming back...

Was there a big delay on her calling your DH? I dint get it. Did she call your DH after a long period of knowing your DF has a heart attack or did she contact your DH straight away.

Me and my sister had a huge falling out. We don't speak. So when my SM told me our Dad had had a heart attack I called my BIL to let my sister know. She showed up at the hospital and made a scene. Like a little spoiled brat.

You see this from the other side OP?
You owe out some apologies.

Your poor step mum, that woman was terrified for her beloved husband, in her panic she let one of his daughters know the situation and asked that sister to tell the other.Then she concentrated on her stri cken husband. SM did the best thing, but you made her feel like shit, as if the poor woman wasn't suffering enough. And you said you'd never forgive her.
Your Dad will no doubt hear about your attitude and behaviour towards his wife and other daughter. I expect he will be horrified to know you could be so cruel and nasty at such a time.
You must sincerely apologise to your poor SM and have a close look at yourself in the mirror. As a family you all need to be united to be able to help with your dear Dads recovery, which I hope will be swift.

Missing the point entirely I know but wondering why we had to know it was the Master Bath . Very specific to type when traumatised.

I'm glad for you that your dad is on the mend but am also quite glad you're not my sister tbh.

Grow up OP jeez she contacted your hubby you were not kept in the dark, and as for threatening your sis if anything happened to your father? Grow up you spoiled brat your sister didn't cause the heart attack! I can see why your sis doesn't speak to you what a brat.

Christ you need to grow up

I'm afraid, that like pp's, I think you really need to think long and hard about who and what is most important in this situation.

It is not you.

It is your father. All this argee bargee - how does this help him? How does it help him you and your sister going at it, your stepmother having to try and referee, apologise and all the rest of it?

If I were you, I'd be apologising profusely to your stepmother, and to your sister, saying you were overwhelmed with the shock and fear, and could we please put this behind us - and what can I do to support the recovery of Dad.

I'm one of four sisters, at any given time, I think there's been two times in the last 20 years that all four of us have been civil and on speaking terms with each other. One of those times was when my father was dying. However, it took a great deal of self restraint because one of those sisters, who hadn't bothered to come visit the family in years, pulled the whole overdramatic 'my beloved Dad', and tried to make it all about her when she arrived, including abusing our poor mother. Don't be that sister. Seriously.

You need to apologise to your DH, you need to apologise to your SM and you need to apologise to your sister. What happened would have been terrifying for your whole family. It was not the time for you to start engaging in Dynasty style amateur dramatics and making it all about you.

Your poor stepmother - she needs this like a hole in the head.

Missing the point entirely I know but wondering why we had to know it was the Master Bath

I wondered that. Along with why ops ages was relevant.

Very much reminds me of the threads by the woman who hot matted in Maui

Hot matted

Got married

She did tell you. She rang your husband who told you immediately. My husband never answers his phone so they rang me when his dad had to have major surgery, and generally ring me if they need to speak to him (which is exceptionally annoying actually).
But anyway unless there was a big gap between it happening and her contacting you - ie if it happened at lunchtime and she didn’t ring till the night time - then you have no reason to be upset. I wouldn’t be if my sister did the same.
I’d be interested to know what the falling out was all about.

I still don't get what the problem is.

Yes MsRomanoff, can't work out what all the age specifications are about at all.

A hot Matting in Maui though, I was about to search for that.

@CardiFree hot matting in Maui sounds like a yoga retreat!

Definitely worth looking at 'but its MAUI!' , wedding thread. Its eye opener.

So far as I can see, @SleepingStandingUp, he didn't do this. He went to fetch the phone and brought it back to the bathroom where OP was getting ready for bed.

Sorry @Beveren you're right I got the Master Bath bit muddled

@aurorae0222 I hope now the shock has worn off that you can just be grateful he's OK and you were told and did to be there. I found out today a friend had a heart attack and died Sat, there will be so many people who will never get a chance to say I love you again! Make the most of your Dad and try and fix things with your sister.

Probably missing the point here but was your baby with the neighbour that whole time??

My sister waited until it was too late for me to get there before ringing to tell me that my dad had had a heart attack. He died as I was on my way, a 3 hour journey. He'd been taken to hospital at 6 am and she didn't call me until gone 2pm. It was too late and I will never speak to her again.

OP maybe she thought you wouldn't pick up her calls if she called you as you weren't talking