Counsellor thinks I am in a DV relationship..... I'm not sure?

[darkby4pm]

Have had about 10 sessions now with a counsellor. I have opened up to them slowly through the sessions about my partner. Counsellor has stated very plainly that they think I am in a D.V relationship- with regards to emotional, physical and financial abuse, and that my partner is controlling and showing narcissist behaviours. I am not sure that I agree but they are the professional so should I just agree with them? What if my partner is not Dv-ing me?

The process of leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time for women. Men will escalate the violence to try to maintain control. Please don't underestimate the danger you are in. Certainly plan your escape but get out as soon as you can do so safely.

It's interesting you mentioned your job, I think we are perhaps drawn towards areas of work that we need to look at in ourselves...or this is exactly what happened to me anyway. So don't worry that you didn't spot the parallel, just recognise the importance of seeing it now and get out.

We know it's really hard to take in, we know it take time. BUT your h doesn't sound safe at all and he's already put his handa round your neck.

Maybe grey- rocking him is best for now? I don't know.

Imagine you are supporting a woman - one of your old clients - and they described your life, what would you think was best to do?

All of us reading are very scared for you and urging you to go but you are the only person who can achieve that. Please don’t wait any longer because it may suddenly be too late.

^^ This!

I can entirely understand you wanting to minimize the gravity of the situation but it really isn't worth the risk. Stealing your phone was extremely sinister.

Anyone can band the word love around buts let's look at the FACTS...

• He has physically abused you
• He has financially abused you by controlling your work

-He emotionally abuses you by shouting and screaming in your face -He gaslights you by hiding your belongings and pretending like it's never happened

Abusers manipulate their victims behaviour via manipulation and intermittent reinforcement; nothing you do will ever be "good" enough to change his behaviour.

This isn't a rough patch OP it's a car crash; you need this man out if your life yesterday.