Hello lovely,
Firstly, stop blaming yourself.
You will do but try and stop thinking that way. This is not your fault at all. I hate the way things like this always make us feel like we were the ones in the wrong. You aren't at all. You are allowed to kiss someone and expect it to stop as soon as you say 'no'. Even if you hadn't said 'stop', silence does not equate to permission in any way, shape or form.
Secondly, get yourself to your local rape crisis centre. When I was assaulted, I reported to the police and they put me in touch with my local Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling service. I was down in Cornwall at the time so their acronym was CRASAC. Wherever you are, you will most likely have something similar.
The first time I used them it was more as a way to piece together the fuzziness of my brain. It was such a jumble. All I know is I felt fucking awful and I needed help. The second time, I used them a few years later after a mental breakdown because i hadn't fully dealt with some guilt i had about the incident. I'd basically tried to shove it under the carpet and ignore it. So it started seeping into my everyday life without me even realising.
I want to reassure you that you did NOTHING wrong. You could have walked up to him with no clothes and he'd still have NO RIGHT to touch you the way he did.
You will feel pretty lonely. I know I did. My friends, even my good ones, didnt know what the hell to say so unless they had been through something similar, they weren't all that great a comfort.
Please dont rule out the police yet. Even if you just do a video interview and get it on the police records. You could potentially be helping someone in the long run. My case never went to trial. Not enough evidence for CPS to go forward. But it's there, permanently in the police files for them to find. And if that fucker ever makes that mistake again (which he inevitably will), I know I will have done my part.
You are going to be thinking about this lots. It's going to consume you for a while. Hold on to the fact that you will start to heal. I promise you. It doesnt feel like this can ever heal but it will. Talk to the counselling service. Try and make some sense out of it. Eventually you will move from feeling helpless to feeling angry and pissed off. This will take time.
I am sending you so many hugs through this message. You are incredibly strong and one day you will see you are not a victim. You are a survivor.