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Original poster

How likely are you to hold your male boss's hand when drunk?

101 replies

FritzDonovan · 12/11/2019 12:09

If you're a single female, have been working away with a large group of people for months, are out one night with your married (male) boss, a friend, one other colleague and his friend, and all are pretty drunk. Under what circumstances would you end up walking along holding your boss's hand?

OP posts:
Duckbill794 · 12/11/2019 12:12

Never!

Duckbill794 · 12/11/2019 12:13

Ok maybe if he was incredibly unsteady on his feet and needed holding up (at an absolute push)

Greenkit · 12/11/2019 12:14

One where you were f**king him and felt comfortable to let your guard down.....

I personally wouldnt, but then im not shagging my boss

BigSandyBalls2015 · 12/11/2019 12:15

I presume your DH has done this to a female colleague and is making out it isn't a big deal!

Timetobegood · 12/11/2019 12:16

I probably wouldn’t do it but at a drunken works party, I have seen that kind of thing and it can be meaningless.

I wouldn’t like it if I was the boss’s wife if that is your perspective!

Marinetta · 12/11/2019 12:17

Happened to me once. On a work night out we wanted to go to a club that had a reputation for not letting a lot of men in and it was suggested that they would be more likely to let us in if they thought we were couples. So we paired up and approached the club holding hands.

HollowTalk · 12/11/2019 12:17

Never! And to do it in front of another colleague implies that person knows something's going on.

Smarshian · 12/11/2019 12:18

I can’t think of a single situation in which I would do this

Wallywobbles · 12/11/2019 12:19

Handholding is on the same intimacy level as fucking on an adult to adult basis.

Bluntness100 · 12/11/2019 12:20

If he was crying and needed emotional support, or was so drunk he needed holding up, both occurances I've never encountered.

Why?

OrangeZog · 12/11/2019 12:21

If I was having an affair with him and was happy for the rest of the company to know this.

Bluntness100 · 12/11/2019 12:23

Handholding is on the same intimacy level as fucking on an adult to adult basis

It's clearly not, else I've fucked all my friends and didn't know it.

MadisonMontgomery · 12/11/2019 12:23

Literally never.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 12/11/2019 12:23

Just NOPE. But I wouldn't be drunk around work people anyway.

AmIThough · 12/11/2019 12:24

Never ever ever. And mines gay so it wouldn't even be as weird and holding a straight mans hand...

Original poster
FritzDonovan · 12/11/2019 12:25

Yes, the married boss is my asshole of a H. And you're right, he's making it out as not a big thing. Yet cannot say how/why it happened. And it's not meaningless to me, especially since when I asked the woman in question, she didn't admit or deny, just said that it was inappropriate as he was her boss and twice her age! If it was a joke, or there was a reason for it, why wouldn't he or she just say so? The fact that he 'cant remember' and she didn't admit to it (but said it was inappropriate), makes it sound highly dodgy. Even if it had been a drunken joke which she was embarrassed about afterwards, surely she'd just admit to that and apologize?

OP posts:
Original poster
FritzDonovan · 12/11/2019 12:27

Oh, and he's 6ft and built like a brick sh*thouse, so holding his hand wouldn't hold him up at all! Grin

OP posts:
AmIThough · 12/11/2019 12:31

Could he have been holding her up? Or could she have been trying it on and he was too much of an idiot to think anything of it and doesn't want to embarrass her?

Loopytiles · 12/11/2019 12:34

Ew.

Your H is untrustworthy as an H and unprofessional at work.

MMadness · 12/11/2019 12:34

How did you find out?

Loopytiles · 12/11/2019 12:35

How did you find out, and why did you speak to the colleague?!

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 12/11/2019 12:39

Well I ended up doing this the other way around (female boss to junior male colleagues) as we were crossing the road on a works night out. I was so used to holding DCs hand to cross the road. I was fucking mortified when I realised what I was doing.

Who was it who told you about this?

HollowTalk · 12/11/2019 12:42

I would be really worried that she was going to accuse him of sexual harassment, tbh. She's saying it was inappropriate - was she admitting she acted inappropriately or saying he was?

Original poster
FritzDonovan · 12/11/2019 12:44

AmIThough no, I don't think he would have been holding her up. He specifically said they were holding hands, and she had a female friend of hers there, who surely would have been the one holding her up, in that case.
I found out as he admitted to a few inappropriate things, off the back of some massive trust issues we've had following my finding out about an affair he had and covered up many years ago. He told me as part of a coming clean exercise, but it only feels like half the story, as he said he remembered holding hands, but can't say why/who initiated it/how long/etc. He said that being that it was in front of others, it must have been a joke she made it something, but I really can't think of any joke in which it's appropriate to grab and hold your married boss's hand, nor any reason why he would continue to hold her hand, esp in front of others. Whereas it does make sense if there was something going on between them. To do that in front of her friend seems like proving a point, that she is important enough to him to get away with it and is showing it in front of the friend, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
DBML · 12/11/2019 12:45

My initial thoughts would be that they fancied each other and let their guard down when drunk.

I’ve allowed my hand to be held when I was young and too submissive to pull it away from someone for fear of offending...so it could also be that one or the other of them was being submissive.

As her boss though, your husband should know better. I have a managerial role and do not socialise with my subordinates. If they go out, I feel a bit left out, but I want them to enjoy themselves without the boss about. Plus, I’m a stickler for professionalism and not blurring the lines. Your husband should be aware that if his drunken ‘affection’ is not reciprocated, he could find himself in hot water.