Does anybody else feel grossed out about somebody they've been intimate with?

[Supertumbles]

Short fling of a few months, I was having a fab time at first and found him very attractive but It soon became apparent he had a personality disorder. Having a personality disorder alone didn't put me off at all as it was beyond his control, but his conduct sealed the deal unfortunately because he was unbearable to be with in the end, and nasty.

I now reflect on the "relationship" and cringe, I can't believe i was ever attracted to him let alone slept with him and felt all giddy.

I'm wondering how my judgement was so clouded I was able to find him so attractive, when just a short while later the thought/look of him makes my skin crawl.

I can't even blame it on alcohol as I was never drunk. I'm baffled as to what I was thinking.

Does anybody else feel this way about an ex / old flame?

I probably sound horrible, I'm generally not. He is the only man I've ever felt this way towards, probably because of his conduct really.

Oh definitely! Thank goodness it’s 20 years ago! Time softens the stinging cringes I felt for years.

Oh God yes. Many decades ago (I'm old). He was weird in that he couldn't have physical contact with me without trembling so violently I thought he had a neurological issue. It was like being in bed with a giant vibrating jelly, which isn't as good as you might imagine

It happens, SuperTumbles. You had a lucky escape by the sound of it.

Yes I have been creeped out by someone with whom I was intimate. It was donkey's years ago when I was single. If I remember it now it gives me the creeps but I don't think about it much.

Most of us make errors of judgement at times. We're often able to spot a wrong 'un in someone else's life but when it comes to our own, the (almost fatal) attraction takes over for a while.

Ugh, yes. The enduring ick. Years ago I had a partner who would get arsey if I said no to sex. I didn't recognise it as the abusive behaviour it was at the time, just knew I hated it and that it utterly turned me off. Coupled with that he used to like me to massage him with oil, and once when I was massaging the small of his back he sort of wriggled his skinny self and said "Yes Chippy, f**k my arse."

That was it. I could never have sex with him again. 20 years later, if I think of that moment, I am revolted. Pegging just isn't for me.

oh! beard deception!

i once went out with a man who annoyed me so spectacularly that on Christmas Eve i told him to piss off, and i stayed out at the pub.

woke up christmas morning and he’d shaved his beard off, out of spite. he looked so awful without it that i refused to look at him for the whole day, and i left him on Boxing Day.

he just had a weird little flat chin with a point, like a Cabbage Patch Kid. his face just sort of stopped under his lower lip. ice.

beard deception is real. and it’s horrifying.

ice? ick!

What are the chances of this, the Ick has got in touch this morning.

Just received a message from him saying:

"I know youve been disliking my content although I'm not suprised. Your account came up on my creator studio analytics for dislikes. I doubt it's anyone else in (where I live) unless you have a fella doing it"

Firstly I haven't 'disliked' any of his daft content nor have I bothered looking at his social media. This is a blatant Hoover isn't it.

I panicked for a second that he might have found this thread. I haven't seen nor heard from him in over a month! I had him blocked on SM and he had me blocked on WhatsApp.

What a silly little man, the ick is strong.

ha, send him a YouTube link to the song "You're so vain"

It's funny how they pop up when we think they have gone for good. I know a guy who blocks me and unblocks. Haven't heard from him for a month then I get hi on f.b messanger. Next day he is trying to borrow money. I've never lent him money and im not going to start now. Monday I uninstalled fb messenger he was asking me to look for clothes for him and send him pictures. Crazy

I thought he'd gone for good this time, after some stressful exchanges before where it was made clear I was no longer interested. I threatened with the police at one point.

Yes he's a blocker and unblocker too, he unblocked me on W/A to send that. I've now blocked him on there too but have got a ball of anxiety in my gut now because he's one of those types who can be spiteful, so I worry about what is coming next.

Bloody creep he is.

Wouldn't wish his ilk on anybody.

Can you reply saying “who is this?”

I think the ick happened more in my youth when I wasn’t so sure of my boundaries and some substandard men wheeled their way in.

That’s how I dated someone who referred to sex as “rumpy pumpy” for a good few months. 🤮

Oh sorry didn’t see your last post. Yes just block - don’t reply and encourage.

Oh my god I've got so many. SO many.
The mouth breather who kissed like a washing machine and had a tiny penis. And had a personality disorder.

The handsome arse who commanded: 'Just be!' during sex (he was a hippy but also bossy as fuck - clearly). He wasn't even that handsome - luckily it was just a fling. I haven't spoken to him for like 7 years and sometimes he'll still hopefully message or friend request me.

The angry pothead who was ancient (25 years + age gap) and really jealous and suspicious of me looking at other men. He did have an enormous penis but it never quite got fully erect, it was like it couldn't. He was also a busker and didn't know how to cook. I didn't know how to cook either but I was early twenties and there was one point where I saw him really clearly and just thought 'Why the fuck haven't you got your shit together and you are in your early 50s'. Then I realised he was a loser and I was mad to be dating him. And then he ghosted me because he didn't want to tell me he'd had someone else on the go the whole time! Twat.

One of my exes got really into cuckhold porn, and then tried to get me to shag his drug dealer. Our sex life was awful for at least a year because of his need to be humiliated, I had to follow a script of dirty talk that was just not me, thankfully I eventually wised up and dumped him. The ick was strong but I felt that I should be open to his kinks. Fuck that.

I have the ick with current 'D'P but I have a lot of saving up to do before I can afford to leave. Thankfully, he isn't pestering me for sex at the moment because there is a sore on his dick. Presumably he has cheated, caught something and doesn't want me to catch it and realise.

Jesus noclue, what a dirty bastard. Did he outright tell you he had a sore? Good job you're not sexually active with him. I'm sorry you're trapped with a dick pun intended like that and hope you can get your ducks in a row to leave ASAP.

Vile men

Noclue, seems like you need to start tuning into your Ick and using it as a tool to help you avoid assholes!

Hope the saving goes well and you get out ASAP.

I'm dying at 'beard sorcery'. My ex I mentioned earlier looked like Austin Powers without his huge glorious beard. I used to get home from work and he'd have shaved it off 'for a change'. Just, no.

Beard sorcery is definitely a thing!

Public Service Announcement: Anyone dating a man with a beard should seek out pre-beard photos before making a long term commitment.

I'd go so far as to call it beard fraud.

Anyone dating a man with a beard should seek out pre-beard photos before making a long term commitment.

This.

I recognise those feelings. As my marriage was ending I developed a complete physical phobia about him. Held my breath when I walked past him because I didn’t want to breathe his air. Couldn’t put my clothes in the washing machine if there was anything of his in there

Loving this thread. Mine was 12 years older than me, got me pregnant at 18 after lovebombing me and then ghosted me. Sounds dramatic but I literally go cold when I see him on social media via mutual friends! So, so grim.

beard fraud now I'm laughing