I've namechanged for this in case he somehow reads it.
I've been with my DP for 4 years, but because I have a child (6 year old boy) I've only just moved in with him 2 months ago. Previously we had spent every weekend at his, he has commitments for most of the weekend so it would be a few hours here and there we saw each other.
I'm massively beginning to question things. He is very set in his ways, which he always has been. Down to doing washing on a certain day and buying certain dishcloths etc. He hates to run out of thing so stockpiles and hordes.
behaviour wise, its stupid small things. we don't leave lights on at all. I know this is ideal but it isn't a small annoyance for him, its a massive deal that has resulted in him shouting at DC and being mad all morning. I "upset him" a couple of week ago because I "wouldn't ask for help" doing my dinner (I'd said don't worry about it love, i'll sort it as you are out soon. ) which resulted in a big problem and him not speaking to me all night. later I was upset as a health problem that i'd thought was sorted happened again and I told him I needed to be able to talk to him and I couldn't. His response was "well you upset me earlier". If he is annoyed with something he hangs on to it for hours, this is stupid minor things like I've not responded in the right manner or I've not been 100% cheerful and happy. The house is freezing and he refuses to put the heating on as he isn't there.
financially I earn about 1/3 of his wages. he wanted to split bills 50/50 which I told him I couldn't do. we split it so I pay for all shopping (works out about £400 a month). If we go out for dinner etc then generally I pay. He won't let me buy carrier bags from the supermarket as I should be trying to save money.
he was cross last week because I didn't shop in the supermarket he wanted me too. Tesco is 10 min drive up incredibly busy, horrible roads and asda is 15 mins on a quiet route. I went to asda. before he went out he told me to go to Tesco then 3 hours later the first thing he asked me when he got in was where i'd shopped. He wouldn't leave it alone, told me it was ridiculous to waste the fuel going to asda etc. kept nagging at it.
Everything has to be done in a certain way. I cook dinner and his rules are no pie based meal two nights in a rule (I did steak pie one night then cottage the next night as I was flat out and it was in the freezer). also only mash 4 nights a week. I am a bloody good cook and I 'broke' these rules one week and I wasn't well!
I was very ill a couple of weeks ago and he stayed very much away at his parents house. wouldn't think of helping me.
he told me he would supply me with hay for the horse this winter as he has loads. this was 4 months ago. yesterday he asked me if i'd sorted out a supplier yet, no mention of him sorting it. he got in the other day and said he thought I was annoyed with him in the morning. I'd been my normal chirpy self!
Stupid stuff (there is more though) but I feel wrong footed. Its like i'm waking up and my life is how he thinks a girlfriend should be, not how I am.
opinions?!?