Help!!!! Naked pic on my husbands phone

[Sesicilana]

My husband was just on his phone and I noticed picture of boobs so I straight away asked what is it and that I wanna see it. There was a message “my boyfriend gave me your number how are you” and pic of breast. My husband replied “great boobs. How have you been?” no more conversation. He is trying to tell me it was just random stranger and he has no idea who is it. Thoughts - I am pretty upset, but his cold and casual responses made me think I overreacted . Your thoughts??

Having a child together does not mean you have to put up with this. You deserve some respect.

You need to make a plan because at the moment he is holding all the cards and knows it.

Why on earth would you think you’d want to get into swinging in 15 years time?🙄

Is it possible he's signed up to a porn site or something and put his number on their for someone to get it and message....
doesn't sound great though and don't beat yourself up. You want an explanation he should not of replied !

It doesn't matter if the house is in his name, did he buy it while before or after you got married? Also, are you from an EU country?

He bought it before marriage. Yes I’m from EU country

He wants you to go to bed, he can then char more to the woman who sent the photo !!!

*chat

As ridiculous as it sound my 13 yr old DD received an email like this! No boob photo but the message was the same. My DD replied ‘who is this?’ and the ‘girl’ continued to send lots of messages about how she wanted to keep their date secret from her boyfriend. We called the local police station as my DD was 13 at the time and we had no idea who it was. Police visited us at home but said not worry just stupid scam etc. Took the girls email address and logged it.
So maybe your DH is just unlucky like my DD!
If it’d been my DH instead of DD then I’d have worried about an affair too!

Sounds like your partner has approached a male friend to see if he and his gf would be open to swinging, hence the messages.

'So maybe your DH is just unlucky like my DD!
If it’d been my DH instead of DD then I’d have worried about an affair too!'

He didn't just innocently receive it, he replied to it complimenting the boobs of another woman, when he already has a partner.

The 'how've you been?' was weird too, as if he's in regular contact with her or other women that send him pics of their baps,and at best wasn't sure if he was supposed to know who she was.

Your dh is clearly well versed at silencing you and keeping unwanted questions at bay. His behaviour since you saw the pics is more damning than the actual incident. He is a cheater

I’d call his bluff and tell him I know what he’s been up to and that he’s looking to get involved with swingers, likely going to be cheating on you. Then I’d tell him to pack his bags.

To me, there is only one scenario that accounts properly for all three of the "my husband gave me your number" text, the topless photo, and the "How have you been?" response.

I think this is a swinging couple. I think your partner has already met them, probably had sex with the woman in some threesome or cuckold fetish scenario, and this text is the couple making contact to instigate another meeting.

I'm very sorry.

It was weird of him to reply, imo.

Any time group sex or whatever comes into a conversation and you agree (even in the future) it can open a whole can of worms.

Agree with twistables

Sounds like he's on Fabswingers to me, and the woman is someone he's had contact with previously. What generally happens when you have couples arranging a 'meet' is tthat the men tend to arrange it, then the women speak to each other to be sure that it's not a hoax or wind up - i know because I've done it. I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't planned to join this couple already.

Scam messages normally stick out like a sore thumb to the average person of normal intelligence and you automatically delete them. You don't bother replying to them because you know that it is possible that they will be doing something through technology to fleece you. This makes makes me suspect that he was expecting this text.
Of course it is possible it was a random or a scam, he saw the boobs and wanted an ego boost from a bit of flirting with nothing more but I think the first situation is more likely.
I would confront him again and have bags packed for him.

Do you have indefinite right to remain? Get this sorted first please. Creating a fake profile sounds like a good idea.

I have never been sent this kind of spam. I get the odd scam phone call, that’s it.

Another vote for fabswingers here, sorry OP. Go to the site and have a look around.

He's so disrespectful
Can you think about leaving him?

I’m very much considering leaving at this point. He is not even apologetic. Will be calling to citizen advice today about the steps I can take

So I didn’t talk to him all Morning - hoping he will at least apologise - nothing . Haven’t slept all night .... not sure how I’ll get through the day

@Sesicilana, not talking to him and waiting for him won't help. The trouble is, some of these assholes think that just because they've had a discussion about "possibly" doing it one day it means they now have the green light to start engaging in that world. Ie actively messaging etc. This shows NO respect for you. He's only thinking about his own lusty fantasies - you've now been pushed aside in his mind as inconsequential to his own perceived "rights" to do what he wants, to fulfil his own fantasies. You need to have a serious sit down conversation with him; and he can't just send you off to bed This time just because he feels you're interfering with the sexual life he wants.

They have no concept of understanding that talking about it isn't consent to do it.