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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Infidelity

125 replies

Susancrushed · 03/11/2019 12:53

It’s been a year and 8 months and I cannot get my husbands affair out of my head entirely. He does not think about it all and says it’s the biggest mistake of his life. I’m trying to contain my thoughts when they come up in my head. It seems after having a good day or evening date I bring it up. I am not angry just questioning his character. It’s been a long road and I don’t wish this on my worst enemy. Anyone can give me personal feedback

OP posts:
Louise831 · 09/11/2019 23:35

@Cariaprl I blame them both equally. I didn't respect my husband and I made him leave. He's spent the last two years proving his love for me. I have spent two years working on myself. He's had to work very hard to gain my respect again. We no longer take each other for granted, it woke us up made us both realise that we wanted to be together. We were already separated, we could have both walked away but chose not too. My husband is treated me better in the last two years than he has ever treated me and I feel more loved and supported than ever. I know that he bitterly regrets what he did and is so embarrassed about it.

Louise831 · 09/11/2019 23:38

If you can't empathise with any of the women on this thread @Cariaprl why are you on here? Says more about you than them. There are also women on this thread who had no choice at the time, they were financial dependant in their husbands and had small children. Not everything's as black and white as you see it.

Warmfirechocolate · 09/11/2019 23:38

I still don't understand how you could respect a man for cheating on you? Why bother building fragile trust again when he doesn't deserve any of your precious time?!

I agree much of the time it is so difficult to repair. However I’d always have compassion for the victim - the wife - and I’d respect her decision, even if I didn’t agree. It’s a huge decision and there are often kids involved.

Don’t blame the victim.

Blame the perpetrators - plural! Because there are two! Totally horrible behaviour and I hope my total lack of respect for anyone I know to do this, I’d drop a friend if she was OW - discourages men and woman not to cheat. Then they can’t live on a bedrock of acceptance.

Magicpaintbrush · 09/11/2019 23:43

Cariaprl - actually my understanding of this particular thread was to give support to people going through the fall out of infidelity so they don't feel so alone. You obviously didn't pick up on that.

Cariaprl · 10/11/2019 00:10

Again the obvious answer is leave the cheating dick. I understood the thread thanks. I don't understand women who put themselves through years of pain to stay with a man who does this to them.
Also why does the woman have to work on herself?

Louise831 you just seem angry at women in general Confused

I've been there and the answer to starting the process of healing is to kick the fucker to the curb. No need to get catty with me

Louise831 · 10/11/2019 00:15

I'm not angry at women at all. Luckily, I'm surrounded by amazing women that I live very much. I'm angry at women that think it's 'not their fault' when then knowingly cheat with married men. Is that really so hard to understand.

Women don't have to work on themselves but it helps massively in the healing process. It's not for the sake of the husband.

Absolom · 10/11/2019 00:35

It’s been a year and 8 months and I cannot get my husbands affair out of my head entirely.

You never will sorry. You just need to learn to live with it or move on. It's been 15 years for me. Its never out of my head. I regret staying because I never got over it, it ruined my life and I suffer depression and anxiety as a result.

So my advice to anyone in my shoes is to leave. Don't let it ruin the rest of your life because it will never go away. 8 months is next to no time, you have many, many years of this yet if you stay.

Warmfirechocolate · 10/11/2019 00:37

I've been there and the answer to starting the process of healing is to kick the fucker to the curb.

Fine for you. Might not be everyone’s though.

Cheater and OW still very much the cause of harm to any of us who have cheated on. It’s horrible to have to go through it. I had a baby and an older child and had uprooted everything. So much was at stake. So I did stay and tried. I wasn’t a ‘loser’. I think I was every bit as strong and self respecting as other women who chose to leave. I held my head high, I had done nothing wrong and had made my decision. All my friends and family respected that and supported me in it.

McTits · 10/11/2019 01:04

Well said @Cariaprl. Honestly I’m shocked at these women on here blaming everyone but the cheating husband. The fact is that he is the one who made a commitment to you, is supposed to love you but decided to cheat on you. The OW could have been anyone so is irrelevant. They owe you nothing, if it wasn’t that particular OW then it would have been another. I cannot understand this mentality of blaming the OW but excusing the husband; aww bless him, poor thing wasn’t getting enough attention, she came on to him and he couldn’t resist. FFS! Listen to yourselves and get some self respect!

McTits · 10/11/2019 01:12

@Absolom Well said! They’ll probably come on and attack you now because they won’t accept the truth. 5 years of it was enough for me. I can’t describe how it felt when I finally made the decision to leave. It was like a weight had been lifted. Living with a complete lack of trust, wondering where they are if they are late, wondering who they are texting, being too scared to disagree with them in case they decide they’re unhappy again. Yes, it’s not wise to trust anyone 100% but virtually impossible to trust someone who has already broken that trust. If you take back a cheater then you are basically telling them that it’s ok to do it again because you’ll always take them back.

Alsioma · 10/11/2019 01:40

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Louise831 · 10/11/2019 07:36

@McTits you keep getting it wrong. My husband wasn't blameless he was equally to blame. I can't understand the mentality of thinking someone who knowingly heats with a married man is free of all blame. Not everyone's stories are the same as yous. I'm not suffering the way you did. I wouldn't have stuck around for 5 years if I had been. Sometimes it's not repairable, sometimes it is. There are many councillors that agree that relationships can be repaired and made stronger after affairs. Just because yours wasn't, doesn't mean it can't happen. You can't speak for the world. I'm certainly not on pins every time he goes out etc....and I know for sure I'd leave if he ever betrayed be again.

Louise831 · 10/11/2019 07:38

@Absolom I'm sorry to hear that. Why do you stay if you're in so much pain still?

dottydolly72 · 10/11/2019 08:19

Wow that escalated overnight.. 🙄

doublebarrellednurse · 10/11/2019 08:32

Wow these posts they always descend in to the same. I could make a bingo card.

"I support women and you have no self respect" is basically the (contradictory) undertone to a lot of this.

If you actually support women you respect them enough to know their own minds and marriages. Several of you knew your mind and marriage wasn't going to recover. Several of you knew your mind and marriage could recover. I'm not sure how it always becomes a fucking slagging match over self respect. Surely self respect is making informed decisions which are true to your own feelings? Believe me there is enough people out there trying to "open the eyes" of the "pitiful" women who stay.

But reality is most do. Gottman did a survey a few years back which showed it was around 75% of partners stay after infidelity are they all doomed? If 30-50% of people admit to cheating that's a hell of a group of people.

Also people are doomed if they do doomed if they don't. We all have different boundaries. I thought always that cheating was a hard line particularly if emotions were involved but my husbands affair was 6 months of emotional cheating. I recovered. Or at least mostly am recovered. It's been 18 months.

Living with a complete lack of trust, wondering where they are if they are late, wondering who they are texting, being too scared to disagree with them in case they decide they’re unhappy again.

I don't remember who said this sorry but I'm sad that's how you lived your life. You absolutely shouldn't stay if you feel like that. I don't feel like that after 18 months as DH has made it his mission to make sure I don't. He realised very early on he had to take control of our recovery as it was his big mess. He went away last week for 3 days and whilst I felt like I would be anxious I wasn't.

Again I can't win though because when I talk about how he's achieved that, quite through his choice, I've been told in the past it's emasculating and controlling (despite having nothing to do with it and it being his process). He checks in regularly, shares his location and snaps. None of it is a guarantee of course but who in a relationship really has that in reality?

As for the OW, I've always said that he is 100% guilty for his part, she is 100% guilty for hers. She knew he was married when she started with the constant flattery and he knew he was married when he failed to put any boundaries in place. The difference in forgiveness is their behaviour afterwards. He has made it his mission to recover himself, support me and improve our marriage. She has made herself a victim, lashed out at me (who had no part in their seedy shit and is the actual "victim") and has gone about her life as if she's been totally reasonable in telling a man she knows is married that she's thinking about giving him a blow job at his desk (on work time no less).

They are both morons. I see his remorse. I see her sending emails to my boss because I once told her to fuck off out of my face when she was telling me it was my fault he cheated because I lost too much weight and he was sad.

He's worked hard to build respect. She's worked hard to make herself the victim.

Maybe she is doing things to better herself but the key element is I don't see that.

Also if she owes us nothing whilst trying to sleep with our husbands (cause you know human decency over destroying another person and potentially their children is not a thing anymore) then surely we don't owe her anything either whilst dealing with the aftermath of their decisions?

I kinda feel like people take my dislike for her (and that's all it is now, widely pity) as a defence of my husband but they are mutually exclusive. My husband is 100% to blame for his part in hurting us, me, our marriage, etc. He acted like an utter prick. I couldn't stand to be near him for a time and we separated for a short while.

He knows I'm gone if he ever so much sniffs another woman again. I have an exit plan, legal protections in place etc. I earn more than him and am not financially dependent in anyway. I have support. I just don't want that. Reality is his affair is a very tiny part of our relationship. It's less than 10% of the time we have been together and every second we stay together it's even less.

Some can some can't move on. No one is morally superior, no one is better, no one has more self respect. Everyone is just trying to do what's right for them. Why does it always have to end with people calling one another bitter.

It's actually ok to be angry that people have treated you badly. It's ok to be angry that it didn't work out. It's ok. But it's not ok to decide everyone is the same as you and use that as leverage to hurt people who you know are vulnerable and hurting because you've been them. Or your ex h for that matter. Same as any other topic.

I do get the sentiment I really do, I've felt it about other things, but you're not them. They aren't you.

doublebarrellednurse · 10/11/2019 08:33

@dottydolly72 that was a much more concise way of saying what I was thinking 😂

I hate this "they" business

madcatladyforever · 10/11/2019 08:40

How nice that your H can just forget about it and move on with his life. It must be very irritating for him that you can't forget about it....WTF!!!

I'd be murderous and unable to look at him in the face let alone go back to normal. More therapy needed I think and you need to tell him that you can't just shrug this off. It's a massive betrayal.

Louise831 · 10/11/2019 09:16

@doublebarrellednurse everything you say resonates with me. There's no right or wrong way to deal with infidelity, in every case the circumstances are different. There are so many variables. No one is superior. I too have an exit plan if needed, I've never felt more empowered and certainly don't feel like I need to be pitied. Absolutely spot on about the OW too. How can people see her as innocent? Anyone who can willingly inflict that kind of pain on other people (and children) is at the very least a twat. How can they be innocent? I honestly don't get it.

Fochit · 10/11/2019 09:37

madcatladyforever

How nice that your H can just forget about it and move on with his life. It must be very irritating for him that you can't forget about it....WTF!!!
Believe me, they don’t forget about it

I'd be murderous and unable to look at him in the face let alone go back to normal. More therapy needed I think and you need to tell him that you can't just shrug this off. It's a massive betrayal.
You have no idea how you would react.

Absolom · 10/11/2019 10:08

Why do you stay if you're in so much pain still?

I have wasted the most part of my life, let it go on too long pretending all was well.
Nothing left for me out there now. So I just continue on.

I just don't want others to make the same mistake I did. And yes we are all different but I do believe that once you are cheated on you never fully forget or get over it. Not worth the constant reminder.

doublebarrellednurse · 10/11/2019 11:10

I don't think you ever get fully over it or forget either, that doesn't mean it has to be a source of pain forever though. Or at least not an overwhelming one.

A bit like grief I guess.

dottydolly72 · 10/11/2019 11:50

I've gone past hysterical bonding onto don't touch me.. I can't see the man I married anymore. He's gone! I have to get out for my own sanity as soon as I can.. far too much hurt for my head.

McTits · 10/11/2019 12:14

@Louise831
You obviously aren’t as happy as you make out or you wouldn’t be posting on a Internet forum trying to convince the world that you can make things work.
OW are human beings just like you, I’ve known a few friends and family members who have been in that situation. They’re not despicable individuals lacking morals but normal people with emotions. I don’t agree that the OW is to blame unless she actually knew you. It’s likely that she’s been fed a load of bullshit by your ‘D’H about how he’s trapped in an unhappy marriage, has been pursued by your H and has fallen for it. She could have genuinely had feelings for him or he may have caught her at a vulnerable time in her life, who knows? I’d like to say that I would never fall for a married man but I can’t honestly say what would happen unless I’m in the situation. I know friends who have had affairs in some cases are now with the man and they are blissfully happy years down the line. I cannot criticise either but I do agree that they should have got out of the relationships they were in first before having an affair. Whether it’s right or wrong, it isn’t my place to judge. I would certainly never stop being friends with them, that’s ridiculous! They aren’t criminals and haven’t murdered anyone! You cannot believe your H’s version of events because he’s not going to be honest! My EXH told me that the OW was a ‘fat chav and that he only had an affair with her because he didn’t think he deserved me and couldn’t get any better’ That’s a disgusting way to speak about anyone let alone someone you had a 3 month affair with! It said more about him than her.
As for your comment about counsellors, of course they will claim to repair relationships and make them better - they’d be out of a job if desperate people didn’t believe this! I think counselling has uses to a point, it’s worth trying to improve things if you have young DC etc. But it’s not a long term solution, more of a sticking plaster.
I was exactly like you when it happened, I even fell out with a friend who was saying exactly what I’m saying to you now. I only wish that I’d listened! I’ve since apologised as she was 100% right. You can say whatever you want to me, I don’t care but I know that I must have touched a nerve due to the hostile nature of your replies. If I can make you question things so that you don’t have to go through the shit I went through for 5 years then I’ve achieved something.

McTits · 10/11/2019 12:17

@dottydolly72
That’s what I was like. It even got to the point where I just didn’t care, even the sound of his breathing annoyed me. I’m sure you’ll find your friends and family will support you, it’s no way to live. When I told him to go it was like a weight had been lifted, I didn’t tell people in work but they all commented on how well I was looking. Don’t underestimate the negative effect it can have!

doublebarrellednurse · 10/11/2019 12:20

@McTits you're calling people desperate and such on the Internet does that mean you're unhappy and desperately trying to convince people you were right with your decision to leave? It's the same logic you're applying to @Louise831.

Both myself and her have said that not every relationship isn't going going to survive it but a surprising number do. We've not called you names or questioned your decision to leave, we could equally throw some bullshit around about marriage and people giving up too easy but wouldn't cause as we've both said we are being actually respectful of others choices. Essentially you do you hun. Could you not extend the same courtesy rather than saying that because you didn't do it no one else can?

We've also both said we felt differently to you. Probably do on lots of things, why can't that be respected.