If this happened on date 4 would you stop seeing them?

[CurledEylash]

We meet once a week and this was date 6. He’d been a bit funny about food from day one really, quite impatient if food took a while, for instance.

Date 4, he picked me up, we drive to the new restaurant that’s opened nearby. He takes a wrong turn and so it adds another 12ish mins to the journey. He starts going quiet and looks cross. I ask if he’s ok. He says yes, I’m just hungry. He barely speaks on the way to the place. It’s getting a bit strained as I feel like I can’t say anything as he’s clearly in a foul mood. We arrive, I say it seems like something else is going on as you seem angry, if you want to call it a night that’s fine? He almost glares at me and says I’m hungry and I get short and irritable when I’m hungry. I just want to go in to the place. I said he was making me feel really uncomfortable and almost scared because I didn’t know him well enough to understand him being moody five minutes after we meet for a date. He said I was being over the top and he was being short because of being hungry, I said that wasn’t ok and he wasn’t a child. To which he got out of the car and we had a meal, he announced half way through that he felt much better and his mood changed.

What the fuck? I’m right to have ended this, right?

Even if he was so starved that all he could think about was food, it shouldn't have created a bad or tense atmosphere. That suggests, like a prior poster said, he was teaching you to put up with him being nasty. Testing you to see if you would go 'aww well the poor dear is hungry so I should just let his foul mood slide'. It's all down hill from there.

I get hangry. If I was going on a date, whether it be 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 - I'd make sure I'd had a little bit to eat, or had a mug of tea or something, so I wouldn't show myself up.

My dd1 split from her dh about 12 months ago, a man who had sudden changes of mood sometimes relating to food, sometimes not. Sometimes when I visited he was friendly, other times he would sit in the corner on his phone and totally ignore me even if we were in the room together. I am just telling you this to show that it does progress.

My dd is now seeing someone else who is a breath of fresh air. They took the kids out for the day recently and she said they laughed the whole time and she had to remember that she no longer had to walk on egg shells for fear of triggering a mood that would ruin the whole day for the children. You have done the correct thing op. I mean, the "hangry" moods could occur three times a day prior to meals and you will spend your life trying to avoid this.

Some people genuinely feel awful when they are hungry - sick, bad tempered, faint, headache etc.

If that's him he should keep an emergency snack with him or something surely

You poor thing,,,it ruined the evening. This will keep happening. Bin him off...

I get 'Hangry' but I do it with good grace and humour because I am not a dick. I'd bin him.

Lots of people get hangry, but people generally would keep it under control if they are around people they are trying to make a good impression on.

Yes people take it on on close family because they're comfortable with them so they normally bear the brunt of their moods whatever the reason, but it's definitely a red flag to be acting like that on a 4th date with someone. If he thinks that's ok then I can only imagine what he'd be like further down the line. Lucky escape for you I reckon!

Dumping someone for being a bit scary and bad-tempered is an excellent boundary to have in place.

What an idiot. You did the right thing completely.

The person who said I needed to toughen up...I’m actually pretty tough which is exactly why I have ended this. Sitting in a car with someone you’ve dated for a month and they have a personality change and look absolutely furious with you, without explaining why...it’s not a nice place to be!

I absolutely hate feeling hungry and it’s all I can think about if I’ve not eaten. But I wouldn’t ever be in a mood with someone I was on a date with because of it.

And no he didn’t apologise when he’d eaten. He simply informed me he felt better.

I don't understand the "toughen up" thing - you're a woman alone in a car with a man you don't know well, who will have more upper body strength than you, most likely larger & heavier, displaying irrational anger and you're supposed to not let it cross your mind it might be a dangerous situation?

You did right op.

Let him go and be with someone who isnt sensitive to the moods of others and would barely notice... you sound aware, empathetic and switched on, so being with someone like this would exhaust you. Absolutely no point.

I am like you, and my ex was like this, the slightest physical discomfort was a disaster and he was miserable for anything. Folk would come running to pander to him, and once he was comfortable, he'd then be annoyed that everyone else was "miserable" and "making him feel guilty" when he "couldn't help being sensitive" I mean fuck off.

Maybe this guy has a condition. Cool. Then he needs to learn to control it so he can be a grownup and not a toddler about it. Or let him go and marry some poor woman who will be his nurse and psychologist. It won't be you, thank god!

Jesus, yeah you were 100% right... I don't care how "hangry" someone is, they can bloody try and be polite with someone they barely know on a date. Sounds like a lucky escape

I get hangry too. Which is why I would eat something small before a date and also why I carry quick calories in my purse.

I've got my own threads about this but honestly I wish and wish I had left my ex the 1st time I felt scared of him. Incidentally it was not being able to find the right turn off to a hotel we were staying at on my birthday. Clenched jaw, short answers, clenched hands on the wheel, swinging the car wildly round corners...
3 years later I'm in the middle of a court case because he assaulted, stalked and abducted me in broad daylight.
Trust your instincts!!!

Have you spoken to him since?

Whatever’s wrong with him it sounds like an utterly joyless evening.

These first few dates should make you feel so alive and laugh so much that your face aches!

Dump the miserable sod.

"utterly joyless..."