If this happened on date 4 would you stop seeing them?

[CurledEylash]

We meet once a week and this was date 6. He’d been a bit funny about food from day one really, quite impatient if food took a while, for instance.

Date 4, he picked me up, we drive to the new restaurant that’s opened nearby. He takes a wrong turn and so it adds another 12ish mins to the journey. He starts going quiet and looks cross. I ask if he’s ok. He says yes, I’m just hungry. He barely speaks on the way to the place. It’s getting a bit strained as I feel like I can’t say anything as he’s clearly in a foul mood. We arrive, I say it seems like something else is going on as you seem angry, if you want to call it a night that’s fine? He almost glares at me and says I’m hungry and I get short and irritable when I’m hungry. I just want to go in to the place. I said he was making me feel really uncomfortable and almost scared because I didn’t know him well enough to understand him being moody five minutes after we meet for a date. He said I was being over the top and he was being short because of being hungry, I said that wasn’t ok and he wasn’t a child. To which he got out of the car and we had a meal, he announced half way through that he felt much better and his mood changed.

What the fuck? I’m right to have ended this, right?

Blimey, I wouldn't want to go near him again. Imagine what he's like first thing in the morning. I would dump him but would tell him he needs to see a doctor about his blood sugar.

If he knows being hungry affects him that badly he should’ve had a small snack before he left.

An able bodied adult that cannot manage their immediate needs isn’t a very attractive option. No date 5, I reckon!

Yeah even if he was actually hypoglycaemic - if you are around someone who doesn’t know you and is likely to be freaked out, you reassure them and order a massive glass of orange juice as soon as you arrive!

Been there, my boyfriend is massive faffer and when we first started dating would takes ages to choose a restaurant and we would be walking around as my blood sugar dropped into hypo territory - he knows better now!

I get hangry. I’m at also an adult I take snack bars with me or eat small but regularly.

The fact he put it on you is the problem.

Is there a new modern attitude that women owe men dates/ relationships unless the man is abusive?

No.

It doesn't matter why this Man behaved as he did. It doesn't matter whether he has a mental or physical illness.

It doesn't matter.

If he scared the OP she doesn't have to see him again.

If he simply bored or irritated the OP she doesn't have to see him again.

If she simply met someone else last Tuesday who seems more fun/ interesting/ compatible she doesn't have to see the 4 date guy again.

They've been out 4 times. There is no long marriage or co-parenting relationship needing working on, this is a very early stage romantic relationship not someone whom she needs to show understanding to because she's obliged to work with them or live nextdoor to them or is a blood relation. She is not his therapist or medical care giver or support worker, nor is she even his friend.

Nobody owes anyone a date or romantic relationship. If something is off about someone on the 4th date you dump them.

It shouldn't need saying. You can turn down a 5th date on a whim, or because you don't like the way the guy slurps his spaghetti, let alone because he scares you!

Agnes +1

He was in a bad mood. I would find that completely unattractive.

But scared? What did you think he might do? At the risk of being pilloried here...toughen up. You’re not a victim, so don’t act like one. If something doesn’t suit you, speak up and end it.

in his mind you are so subordinate and inferior that he can't be bothered to make the effort to overcome his irritation and be polite to you
This is him on his best behaviour....

He really needs to keep snacks to hand if his blood sugar is so sensitive!

That sounds like a good decision.

I'm not saying OP owes a man another date. I agree that they're dating and OP can choose if she wants another date or not for any reason.

I am saying I'm not a dick but could well imagine feeling hungry and irritable with the wrong turn sending me over the edge if I was hungry. That doesn't make me an abuser.

What AgnesGrundy said.

Agree with Agnes that a person can end a date at any time for any reason.

If the guy had blood sugar, blood pressure issues, the snappiness and weirdness isn't controllable, but he should have said more to her when he started to feel better. He didn't have to give a full medical history but mention blood sugar or whatever and apology would have been much better than nothing.

Having had both types of incidents, it comes on so fast, like blood pressure dropping, suddenly feel a bit spacey and weak and next thing I know, I'm waking up on the floor with people around me.(embarrassing).

When he announced he felt much better, during the meal, did he then apologise for his behaviour? I'm guessing not.

You say you've ended it? Definitely the right thing. There's no excuse for behaving like this, and certainly not with someone you're in the early stages of getting to know. Surely he's supposed to be making a good impression!

I don't really see the cause to be important! If his mood managed to make you feel unnerved/uncomfortable/frightened within minutes whilst shut in a car with him... who needs that shit? If he can't control himself and make you feel comfortable when It's all so new then he's a dick who can't be arsed to try or is unable to control himself to a point I would find concerning! People struggle with serious mental health issues but understand that they are responsible for their own behaviour. Fucking hungry, what a cop out!

He may well be hypoglycaemic.

I would bet my bum he's also careful to make sure he has a mars bar or whatever if he knows, for example, that he's going to be hungry at work for a time before he can get to eat. So that he doesn't look like a dick and act inappropriately with people who matter - work mates, other men.

However, you're a bird he's going for a date with, so no need to control his behaviour. A woman isn't important enough and you can just act how you please.

Good call on dumping.

@TheStoic, a woman being frightened and uncomfortable because she’s being driven in a car by an angry man she’s only previously met a couple of times and who’s a virtual stranger? Hardly difficult to understand.

If you are scared of someone after 4 dates then you BIN, no questions. Get rid!

If he's like that at the beginning of a new relationship when he should be on his best behaviour and trying to impress you, I dread to think what he must be like the rest of the time.

The hills are that way >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

He’s obviously not the one for you if you’re scared of him. DH & I both get hangry and a bit snappy at each other sometimes then laugh about it whilst we are eating. If I get too hungry I get dizzy and my legs go shaky. I can’t handle being hungry!

Your feeling scared was absolutely justified. You're alone in a car, with a man you don't know well, who had a personality flip.

Read the gift of fear x its fab

Your intuition is sending you a very clear message here. Listen to it.

If you're scared of him on date 4, for any reason, definitely don't keep seeing him.

'Hangry' is total bs

No it isn't, I can get pissed off and short tempered if I am really hungry. Its a thing. However what I can control is how I react to others when I feel this way.