If this happened on date 4 would you stop seeing them?

[CurledEylash]

We meet once a week and this was date 6. He’d been a bit funny about food from day one really, quite impatient if food took a while, for instance.

Date 4, he picked me up, we drive to the new restaurant that’s opened nearby. He takes a wrong turn and so it adds another 12ish mins to the journey. He starts going quiet and looks cross. I ask if he’s ok. He says yes, I’m just hungry. He barely speaks on the way to the place. It’s getting a bit strained as I feel like I can’t say anything as he’s clearly in a foul mood. We arrive, I say it seems like something else is going on as you seem angry, if you want to call it a night that’s fine? He almost glares at me and says I’m hungry and I get short and irritable when I’m hungry. I just want to go in to the place. I said he was making me feel really uncomfortable and almost scared because I didn’t know him well enough to understand him being moody five minutes after we meet for a date. He said I was being over the top and he was being short because of being hungry, I said that wasn’t ok and he wasn’t a child. To which he got out of the car and we had a meal, he announced half way through that he felt much better and his mood changed.

What the fuck? I’m right to have ended this, right?

He maybe has low blood sugar and hasn't properly realised it yet and isn't in the know yet to carry snacks (low blood sugar people tend to keep snacks in their bag/car/pocket). I would have suggested he maybe has that, tell him to carry snacks and see if this changed things

I agree, you were definitely on his training programme to accept being abused.

The thing is, given he already said “I’m hungry and I get short and irritable when I’m hungry”, he obviously knows he does it.

Wouldn’t you therefore expect an adult to be able to deal with the situation I.e have snacks/sugary drinks with him to prevent it?

Just to add, I've been in a situation where my mil needed to eat due to high/low blood sugar and she came off as very rude and it was quite scary. She is a lovely, lovely person and the way she was that day isn't a reflection on her at all. As soon as she ate, she was really nice again

Definitely right to not see him again. In addition to the poor behavior, he also negated your feelings about it when you raised them - not a good sign.

Also it was only 12 minutes, not like his dinner was late by 2 hrs.

If your having hypoglyceamia so severe you can't control your mood because your 12 minutes late for dinner them you need to see a Dr. Most people's body's can regulate their blood sugar well enough to avoid that

Would be no fifth date for me. Who needs that drama?

I’d just add to block him now and also maybe avoid having lifts from someone so early on. Better to have your own means of getting home or safe away if they turn out to be awful (or threatening/scary)

Erm, firstly if I had PMT (I regularly do), I certainly wouldn’t take it out on someone I’d had known for a few weeks. Nor would I call them over the top for questioning my rudeness.

He hadn’t mentioned a condition but simply said he was hungry. He could easily have told me if it was something other than just hunger.

I get this, I'm an utter cow when I'm hungry and I feel really weird. I go silent, moody and snappy. I'm actually not a dick but did warn dp that when I'm hangry please don't talk to me until I've eaten as I'm just not myself. I feel rage when I'm hungry and someone talks to me.

I very rarely let myself get in that position.

I also think hangry is lame...he could just say if it was a condition!

Fizzy maybe he should have eaten before we left?!

I just thought it was incredibly rude.

I was going to say low blood sugar - but then he should be adult enough to carry snacks around as PP said.

Imagine going on holiday with a type like this.

'Hangry' is only acceptable as an excuse for a temper tantrum under the age of, ooh, about six?

Unless he's diabetic (which can cause mood swings with low blood sugar) then he's just a dick and you can do better...

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

Oh fgs, let's really reach for potential reasons the guy behaved like an asshat and suggest she overlooks a display of temper, to give some guy she barely knows a chance. When he's already scared her a bit and made her uncomfortable. For fucks sake.

No wonder so many women put up with utter shit and abuse.

My middle child is the most delightful young man that has a mountain of friends and is a naturally charming and funny lad, unless he’s hungry and doesn’t have a snack with him. His Hypoglycaemia makes him very quiet and moody, but he deals with it by being quiet and is practically incapable of having a conversation. He can’t even take in information when he’s like that as his concentration is shit. He has a very responsible job and is incredibly intelligent, but hunger even affected his dyslexia, dyscalculia and dyspraxia.

In saying that, it’s entirely possible that he’s just a grumpy sod and it’s entirely up to you whether or not you can deal with that.

I get moody when I'm hungry, but I'm able to keep it in check and if anything I'd make a joke out of it.

To the person that mentioned PMS or PMDD, I wouldn't be arranging a date when I know I'm likely to snap or cry. No one needs to see that so early in a relationship!

Men I have known get like this have all been into martial.arts or body building, and it's like hungry plus a huge dose of anxiety/ panic that if they don't eat at x time they will start metabolising their new and hard won muscle tissue. It's disordered eating imo and usually intimately entwined with control issues and anxiety. I have quite a lot of compassion for this because I had my own brush with anorexia but I wouldn't be partnering up with anyone like this for a serious relationship because they obviously have some work to do on themselves

Even if he does have a condition, it's not on anyone else to have to deal with it.

It's his thing to get a grip on, not his new date's.

He may have low blood sugar. Hypoglycaemia. In which case he would be no more able to be calm or be rational at that moment than a woman with severe PMT or menopausal emotional fluctuations or a diabetic whose bloods are out. I'm wondering if someone wrote a post saying that they were on their 4th date with a woman and she seemed short and snappy. She explained that she was premenstrual and that it would pass in a day, whether people would tell the poster to dump her. Or if a diabetic went into a diabetic coma whether people would say 'yah, you don't need this shit'. Or someone suffering anxiety or depression. Seriously. You state that once he had eaten a bit he was normal again. Give him some slack and figure out if it's a physiologic thing. He wasn't showing any violent tendencies. He displayed a typical hypo reaction.

We deal with our physiologies.

I am really struggling to imagine a woman on her fourth date with a man she liked, at whatever stage of her menstrual cycle, inflicting her silent tactics and foul mood on her date to the extent that he's actually alarmed and asks if she wants to end the date -- just as we don't allow our physiology to dictate professional behaviour.

I imagine the advice on here would be that if someone knew they were unable to control their mood because of some physiological issue, they either need to act to avoid that (bring a snack if your low blood sugar turns you into someone angry and silent, make sure you are managing your diabetes appropriately), or to avoid going on dates at that time if it cannot be controlled.

You are responsible for managing your own moods, even if there's a physiological basis, if you're an adult.

This is how he's behaving on a 4 th date? Run.

Occasionally when I am really hungry my mood changes. Especially if I’ve been physically active. I can go really vague, shaky, can’t think straight and go really quiet because my brain seems slow until I have had something to eat.

However, I am also able to hide it. A friend of mine can recognise it in me before I do myself. On the other hand my partner has only noticed it once in 5 years because I wasn’t very chatty at the table with him.

I think you did the right thing in ending it. There’s no way I’d behave like that in front of someone I was dating and if someone noticed it in me I’d be very apologetic and reassuring. Red flag for sure.

I had a bloke who really did get this. It would be like bear with sore head PMT, and was really upsetting until I realised it wasn't personal. After that, I'd know just to ignore him until 10 mins into the meal.